nywc: inspirations from general session 4

Generally speaking...

I enjoyed connecting with Phylis Tickle again, although this time under different circumstances. (For more on the story, see this post) Before her message tonight and went over and told her and Marko that I "had their back."

More so, though, I was interested in watching the crowd interact with Tickle's talk. I expected similar content to last year's, which meant some meaty stuff packed into a short amount of time.

The big curveball, though, was that after she was done and the worship tunes started, I got a phone call from Scot McKnight (see earlier post). He'd made it back home to Chicago, only to realize he'd left his personal journal, Bible, and other stuff in his seminar room. So I huffed up four floors for him, spied it out, and then passed it to the appropriate hands.

So while I didn't get to stop someone from picking on Phyliss this year, I did get to be a joyful errand boy for McKnight.

I love NYWC.

----------

Inspirations from the opening comic, Taylor Mason...

• I've seen this guy's act before - several times. I didn't expect to laugh at anything new, but tonight he cracked me up through making fun of himself and the fact that he's not really talking to puppets - he's manipulating them and using his own voice. We all know that, of course, and yet so many people react as if the puppets are real. Taylor's dry sarcasm showed me yet another way to stretch source material out for a new application.

Inspirations from MercyMe...

• I like this band's honesty and humor to call out how they've become the "funeral band" due to their power ballads like "I Can Only Imagine." That's gutsy, and yet it humanizes them. I really enjoyed singing out on that last round... but again noticed that when the lyrics aren't on the screen (meaning, the band assumes everyone knows the song) it makes it hard for new people to jump in.

Inspirations from Phyliss Tickle...

• Before I translate my academic notes from the message, here are some of my favorite Tickleisms that she said tonight (which sounds awesome coming from a spunky, 70 year old gal with a southern drawl):
• "I was raised Presbyterian, so I can trash them. I got over it and you can do... but I am grateful for my 14 years as a Presbyterian."
• "I've been around the block 70-some years now."
• Describing Einstein: "He was a smart, sassy twenty year old Jew."
• "Telling an 'ass' story to children always gets their attention."
• "Now, why in the hee-haw didn't he find out?"
  
• Every 500 years or so, the church feels compelled to have a "Rummage Sale." We go through our closets and attic and decide what treasures to keep and what junk to get rid of. We are in the "Great Emergence" now - which was preceded by the "Great Reformation," and before that the "Great Schism," and before that the "Great Decline of Rome," and before that the "Great Transformation" through Jesus.
• When a shift happens and we know it, it takes about 100 years to figure out a central question - "Where now is our source of authority?"
• For Sola Scriptura to work, people had to be able to read for themselves. One of Christianity's great contributions to the world is teaching literacy.
• The IRS recognizes over 27,000 different denominations to Protestant Christianity.
• Christianity has been understood in four categories: Liturgical, Mainline/Social Justice, Conservatives, and Charismatics/Pentecostals/Renewalists. What is emerging is something that comes out of centering those all together.

Inspirations from Matt Maher...

• I missed this set while getting McKnight's stuff, but indirectly (as I was jogging through the convention center) heard a great sound.

nywc: inspirations from scot mcknight

I had the chance to hang out with Scot McKnight before his seminar. We've only known each other electronically, and this guy is on the ball We had the chance to speak about everything from upcoming opportunities for networking to our mutual involvements and uninvolvements.

(That will make more sense after my last post of the day tomorrow night)

Out of the many people I have spoken with, Scot straddles what it truly means to be a solid, Bible-loving emerging Christian in the days we are in. I don't mean that in an "Emergent" sense, but in a "I want God to emerge in me, even if it takes me into new places without abandoning the value of the old."


Scot hit a homerun with his seminar, although I think the physical fatigue of the crowd fought against the heady stuff he shared in a 2.5 hour slot. Still, everyone who leaned in walked away with something - whether they "get it" or "don't get, but know they're not ready to get it just yet."

If you're interested, here are some notes:

• Reading the Bible and understanding it all seems so simple when you grow up with the idea, "God says, I believe it, that settles it." Only that isn't true - it settles your approach, but it doesn't settle that many things God said that we don't do.
• When we encounter certain passages in the Bible, we become aware of things that make us uncomfortable... which makes us aware of how we're choosing to read the Bible... as well as how we choose not to read the Bible. God may have "said it," but we do a whole lot more negotiating in the middle before we settle it.
• Read Leviticus 19-20 - how do people know what is for today and what isn't? Why do we believe certain ones apply and others don't?
• It seems to be a put down to be called a picker and chooser, but it isn't - we are all adopters and adapters.
• Exercise: Read 1 Timothy 2:8-12 and find every commandment in this passage. Then proclaim which ones you believe should be followed today, as well as the the ones you don't do, and why you believe so.
• The problem is when we think something is a permanent commandment but is more of a contextual commandment - how do we know with authority?
• Jesus is Messiah, but He also contextually expressed the word of God and the will of God in His generation.
• Many people read the Bible as...
• A Law book - if it's a commandment, we do it; if it's a prohibition, we don't.
• A Promise book - smiley faces from God to bless your day.
• A Puzzle book - Gods has made a system in all the Bible and we can tame it intellectually (and lose its dangerous quality).
• A Maestro book - Jesus and Paul become our master chefs who help us process all the ingredients - "Kingdom of God" or "reformers/justifications/imputation" We must be careful of letting one voice be the full revealer at the expense of the many voices God used in the whole canon. Likewise, you cannot read through one lens of one thing a person wrote without reading all of what they wrote.
  
• Indwell the Story. Get caught up so that you don't if we're reading it or it's reading us.
• Know the Story. Perhaps the saddest element of the Christian church today is that never has it ever been so easy to read the Bible, and yet so often it isn't read. Become people of the book - read it, slog through it, and wrestle with it until you limp away, changed forever.
• Regarding voting for President: Those early Christians didn't worry about voting the right Caesar in, and they did just fine.
• That beautiful dance of explosive, penetrating love of the Trinity became the birth of creation. We see it in relationships between us and God, and us and each other. All of the Bible has that theme of the two becoming one in endless, joyous love.
• How can Christians not participate in a church community? I didn't know God wasn't doing anything that didn't include forming communities that proclaim what He is doing in this world. Our problem is the Gospel we preached was a bridge illustration that was more about self-satisfying that community... this makes the church seem less necessary, which does a disservice to the Truth.
• Quote about why he reads the Greek and Hebrew texts - "It's the way I read the Bible... I think reading the Bible in English is like kissing your mother-in-law. It's not the real thing."
• LEARN. Learn to distinguish God from the Bible. Learn to let God speak to you through the Bible. Learn to pay attention to the primary word in the Bible regarding our response - "listen." Learn to enter into two conversations - first with the one in the Bible, and second with the one in you.

nywc: inspirations from general session 3

Generally speaking...

I wasn't physically ready for this session, so I ended up sitting down in the comfy chairs of the YS Store (in the same large room as the sessions). It gave me the chance to work on my computer during the session, including some final prep for my seminar on Monday.

Oh yeah, if you're reading this and at Pittsburgh, I'm speaking on Monday - I think it's the longest title of a seminar: "Secrets from the other side: What I Learned About Youth Ministry By Becoming A Lead Pastor."

Anyway - the chair was comfy, which made me wonder how much this plays into our Sunday services for folks in our church gatherings. Recently we took out some chairs to make space for small coffee table things. So far the feedback has been positive.

I share all of this because it doesn't matter compared to Francis Chan's talk - where he sort of rips you a new perspective about what it means to live a hard, sacrificial life of discipleship.

Ironically, I wouldn't have been able to hear that had I not been able to sit in a comfy chair.

Hmm.

----------

Inspirations from the opening comic, Rob McGehee...

• After last night's talk from an Asian man about how easy it is for white Christians to stereotype Asians with jokes, I wondered... can I laugh at this guy's comedy? I mean, I know he's Asian and has permission to poke fun at his heritage, but after last night it feels odd laughing at his impersonation of his Asian mom driving.
  
  
  

Inspirations from Marquis Laughlin...

• This guy spoke a meaty, long passage of the Bible from memory.
• First off, it's impressive... I don't have seven books of the Bible memorized, nor do I sound nor look like Morpheus when I say them. This guy has it all.
• And then, it's not impressive... I mean, it is, but the average good Jew has much more memorized. And I would like to follow along somehow besides listening to him quote it... that's more my learning style. Still - you can't critique the Word of God being shared, period.

Inspirations from Starfield...

• I love it when a band decides that they're just going to sing a song everyone knows. It means they set their own agenda aside of their own songs and let people sing out. We had that chance today, which was awesome.
• However, I do dig this Starfield tune REMAIN with the chorus that proclaims: You are God with us, You're victorious, You are strong and mighty to save, for your word stands true, there is none like You, and when all else fades You remain
  

Here's a slice from the convention.

NYWC: Starfield - Hosanna (Live).

Inspirations from Francis Chan...

• When you’re alone with the Bible – just you and the Book – are you at peace? Do you find yourself feeling right in line with what it says? Does your life feel biblical? And what does that even mean?
• Jesus lived in a way that didn’t make sense to anyone else.
• Quote: "I’m not going to beg you to follow Jesus. I’m going to tell you how great He is and then you’ll beg to follow Him."
• The prophets of Baal had a good time of fellowship, but no fire from heaven came down.
• Jesus doesn’t know what to do with people who won’t follow Him to the cross. When He says we’re not fit for the manure pile, He means we would ruin crap. We would actually ruin crap... and for some reason that bothers Him.
• There are times when I’m alone with the Bible and I become scared to say some of the things that people need to hear but don’t want to. Some may leave, but at some point I have to know I’ve done what is true. This I must do.

nywc: inspirations from general session 2

Generally speaking...

I like the angle this session took, allowing three different people to speak on "touchy" subjects for about 18 minutes or so, and then group chit chat, and finally some Q&A.

However, I'm not a big fan of group chit-chat person. Mainly because I feel the pressure to:

• Lead the conversation, because people expect me to.
• Have something intelligent to say, because people expect me to.
• Enjoy it, because people expect me to.

I did enjoy it, and I didn't mind sharing an attempt at an intelligent thought, and occasionally I steered the conversation.

But it's funny how in such times I want to be a natural introvert and don't know if I can.

----------

Inspirations from the opening poet, Fred Lynch...

• I've heard Fred do this before - share the Gospel of John in a hip-hop rap style. It is cool, but I find myself listening less to the content and more to the slang. A good insight there - sometimes even something intended to be pure can steal the spotlight away from your pure intention.
  

Inspirations from Margaret Feinberg...

• This is a gal who went through some humbling times (living with parents, broke, etc), to then later find a groove with God and become a writer. Her book about hearing God's whispers speaks on this matter, including the frustration of when you can't hear from God.
• It says in 1 Kings 19 that God was found in a whisper, but not in a wind, fire, or earthquake. Margaret asked if God wasn't in those things, then who/what was - which is a short-sighted question. God is omnipresent and in everything, but there is a difference between God's presence and God's presents. He gave Isaiah a gift in that moment - a present of His specific presence via the form of a whisper.
• Someone asked a question I thought was powerful - essentially, "If God hadn't answered your prayers and you didn't become a success (and still lived with your parents), what would have become of your faith then?" We should all ask such questions of ourselves if God doesn't do what we want.
  

Inspirations from Andrew Marin...

• It's intriguing to see how quickly a speaker's energy or lack of energy can change a room's personality. Andrew hit the ground running and was a perfect fit in the middle.
• What a powerful ministry this guy has, building a bridge into the homosexual community without losing his anchor in Jesus. I need to understand how to practically do this better than I am.
• There is a difference between my pastoral answer about homosexuality and the grace we are to offer anyone struggling with an issue, versus the approach I take as a parent - meaning, I'm quite protective of who and what I expose my boys to. Someday those two concepts will merge, but right now they are further apart on this matter than perhaps they should be.

Inspirations from Soon-Chan Rah...

• After this informative presentation on racial matters, I found myself better understanding the history of America's collective sin (i.e. we build a propserous country because we had free labor via negro slaves and free land via what we stole from Native Americans).
• However, I didn't find myself energized by this discussion... I hope I'm allowed to say that. Some days I find it frustrating that I'm accused of representing a stereotype of "white American Christians" simply because I'm white, an American, and am a Christian. That doesn't mean I fit all the accusations, but sometimes in a chat on racial tension I'm summed up quite quickly. And so while this gentleman did a good job of calling a spade a spade, I didn't know that I'd been using the spade like he said I did.

nywc: inspirations from general session 1

Generally speaking...

A great opening session, although it felt a bit awkward to not have the room darkened. I'm used to that from past conferences - funny how lighting can mess with you.

That aside, I found my new favorite band - Newworldson. They have a sound somewhere in between the Blues Brothers, Gavin Degraw, and a church on a hill somewhere down south (where they really know how to scat dance and sing). It's been a while since I've said, "Now there is a CD I need to buy." A long while, actually.

----------

Inspirations from the opening poet, Amena Brown...

• We signed up to be Jesus' reflections, but didn't know it was part of the job description.
• He's the One who put the G in OMG, the biggest G in all of history.We want to see a glimpse of what He sees.
  

Inspirations from Tic Long...

• God offers us a grace so amazing that is forgives all - all as in every single thing.A calling to change the eternal destiny of a generation.
  

Inspirations from Newworldson...

• As I said above, great stuff. Although their last song had more fake-out endings to it than the last Lord of the Rings movie did.

Inspirations from Marko...

• "Chillax" - thanks for this word, Marko. I'd like to say this word, but I can't... I just can't. Just like I couldn't say "G.R" for Grand Rapids when I lived in Michigan. I'm not that cool, but I'll work on it.

Inspirations from Joe Castillo...

• This guy is a true artist, using everything from sketches and painting to sand to tell God's Story. It took me a moment to realize what part he was telling (the Prodigal Son), but it was a powerful ending!
• I told Joe that we have one of his pieces hanging up in the men's room in our church building. Keep in mind, I let him know it was a compliment... because he paints manly Jesus pics and we wanted a manly bathroom. I think he believed me. Otherwise he's a good liar.

Inspirations from Jeanne Stevens...

• Jeanne does a great job every year of finding a tactile way to engage God. This year she used cell phones as an interesting way to say "Amen. Pray for me."
  

Inspirations from Starfield...

• Nice set, and even though I know their stuff many people didn't. They helped folks jump in quite well.
• I was getting TXT messages all throughout the worship set because I'm trying to keep an eye on someone in our church who had surgery today. sometimes praising God is difficult because of the details... makes me have greater compassion for parents on a Sunday morning who are unplugging from managing their kids.
  

Inspirations from Mike Pilavachi...

• I want Marko to introduce me someday. Not because I'm anyone special, but because he's quite complimentary and it would be nice to hear that. Heck, everyone should have Marko introduce them.
• This message for me is a very simple one... Jesus did miracles, but He did it through the hands of His disciples. It's absurd to think so, but He did. And so we shouldn't be surprised when He asks us to do the same - to make space for others to fail, so that something miraculous can happen anyway.
• Listening to Mike is like listening to a Monty Python chaplain who loves Jesus. And not the Monty Python version of Jesus... the Jesus version of Jesus.
  

nywc: atlanta - day five, part 1

My seminar? Thanks for asking.

Painful.

So here's the deal...

I spend all year working on this seminar... I pray on it, bounce it off people, do research, develop notes, create a power point presentation, and select appropriate media. I even get one of my good buddies to play music in the backdrop.

Then the day of the seminar I go to the speaker's lounge early and print off my notes. They somehow have a vanishing streak in the middle, which means the toner is low. So we swap it out, print it off, and I glance at the first page - looks great.

I go to the room and set up - earlier than needed. Yet for whatever reason my laptop won't project on to the screen via the projector. I call for help... it arrives, but the gentleman is as perplexed as me. We reboot the computer, and finally the Windows logo shows up on the screen. Good news... he leaves the room.

Actually, bad news. After a few moments, the screen goes to a low resolution of scattered lines. He's nowhere to be found.

"Okay," I think. "I'll just work on my flip chart stuff... wait, where's my flip chart?" Nowhere.

"Hmm," I wonder, "That's odd. Guess I'll just cue up my backuo DVD I brought with in case there was a problem." No DVD player. "Odd - I requested one."

By this point people have come in and I'm trying to be social. After a bit of this, I kick the seminar off with a story... going well... might as well turn to the next page in my notes... and... yes... while the first page has text the remaining ten pages are blank.

Blank.

Thankfully, I kept the original notes with the vanishing streak in the middle that builds into a larger wipe as each page progresses. This is fine in the early stages, but once I start reading Scripture on pages 4 and beyond I find myself guessing at words. That's never good with the Bible.

The media guy comes back in with my DVD player. He's trying to help, and I must say doing a good job at it. At this stage, though, I can't cue up the movie because the fine folks who make it put ten minutes of previews you can't fast forward over to get to the menu. "Don't worry about it," I tell him. He reboots my computer again... no victory.

Then there's the handout. Singular. I had two handouts, but only one made it. And on top of that, I didn't grab one since I figured I had my notes. Now, from memory, I am trying to give everyone the fill in the blanks.

"Ah... this is why I never use fill in the blanks when I preach," I think.

So about 2/3 of the way in, I blurt it out. "Okay, I'm sorry, guys. These are my notes (I show them) and I have no idea what I'm supposed to say next, so I'm just going to have to talk to you from my heart."

And I did. It was nice.

Only, after a while I didn't know how I was to end... I had that video clip all planned. So I say something first-year-rookie-esque like, "So, yeah... that's what I wanted to share with you." Even Forest Gump had the line, "And that's all I have to say about that." Not me... I end flat.

So I pray. Then I take some Q&A. And then we call it over.

Painful.

This is about the time that I start hearing comments. Things like, "That was so amazing!" and "This was my favorite seminar of the whole weekend!" and "YS really needs to have you back again next year!" and "Homerun, dude."

And I think..."What are you people smoking? Or was I smoking something?"

When everyone leaves I glance at the evaluations... the majority of them 10's (meaning very good) and some 8's and 9's. "Where are the 1's and 2's?" I wonder.

Ah... in my head.

Painful... just painful.

I don't know why I'm telling you this, but you can download it here.

nywc: atlanta - day four, part 2

Being sick stinks.

I have pink eye... that's manly, isn't it?

And I have to speak tomorrow... which means that people will be staring at my freaky eyes.

Now, I could wear my glasses... but since one of my roomies crushed them they kind of stick out.

Pink eye? Or warped framed glasses?


Now...

if this is the worst of my issues, I'm doing pretty good in the world.


My buddies and I ate at "On The Border," and we ate and ate and ate. It was my only meal today, so I didn't mind. Across the street was Buckhead Church - we popped in - amazing decorations all over that place.

I did skip the general session, tonight, though. Turns out I missed a major finger rocket battle as well as some more narrative Scripture readings. Oh well... I did gain some extra bed time.

But... why am I still up?

nywc: atlanta - day four, part 1

First, an observation...

Like, slowly but fer-surely, the convention center has been emptied of the other weekend convention attenders who have been sharing space with us - the pre-teen cheerleading competition. While it was fun to count how many variations of sparkly eyelash and glitter lipstick one might see on the way up or down an escalator, I found it ironic that at a youth worker's conference the place was infested with students. A couple of years ago I was in St Louis for NYWC convention and the other side of the building was hosting a transvestite beauty pagent. I'm not sure why I'm sharing that bit of information, except to say that opportunity to extend ourselves is always around... sometimes in obvious ways, and other times on the way up an escaltor.

Now, an overview:

• Taylor Mason (comedy): Usually this act breaks me up. The couple of times Taylor used his "dummy" to rip on members of the crowd, though, left me frustrated. Anytime you pick on an audience member for a laugh it seems a bit more like the comedy I expect to see on Comedy Central than in a "Christian" atmosphere. (Whatever a "Christian" atmosphere is, I don't know... but having lived in West Michigan for a bit it seemed natural to say this.)
  
  
• Zach Hunter (teenage author and abolitinist): I had the chance to hang out with Zach a bit the night before in a special gathering over dessert. I share that only to say that in that environment and this one the kid seemed authentic, passionate about his ministry and yet still a kid. His words were from a deep place for one so young. If you haven't seen his story, check it out here.
  
  
• Doug Fields (speaker): Fields got up to speak about ministry envy (which, of course, I could have done a better job at, and yes that is a joke, thanks for playing along). Of course, the real issue here is that he no longer has facial hair which makes me wonder if he is aging backward again (much like Michael W Smith and Amy Grant). In any event, I really did enjoy and take many notes on his message that surveyed Joseph's part of God's Story and the multi-colored coat that represented why his brothers had it in for him. One day, though, we will all be dressed in white robes (see Revelation 3) - which begs the question, terry cloth or silk?
  
  Seriously, I know how poisonous ministry envy can be and it was so cool to hear a message on it. Often it shows up in criticism, theological belittlement, and so forth. It's easy to target the Joel Osteens, Rick Warrens, Bill Hybels, Doug Pagitts, and so forth... and maybe we feel like we have a good reason. Then again, what if envy was unconsiously the driving force? Worth asking.



• "When you have ministry envy, you scream out how immature you are."



• It's embarassing how quickly envy can enter into a place of networking. When envy sticks it creates rivals out of co-laborers... you create distance, criticize, and decide that nothing that person says is anything you will learn from.



• "Joel Osteen is an easy target, but when we criticize him we don't connect it to envy but disguise it as dislike." We "know" that they don't "teach the word of God" as faithfully as you... and we feel like it's our job to police their faithfulness.



• In the Christian community we're aghast when everyone is not like us.



• Envy gives you less love. When you put others down you lose the value of that person Jesus died for.



• "At the heart of envy is the lie that God owes you."



• Joseph's brothers create a quarrel with their brother when their real insecurity is their relationship with the father. They think that if they get rid of Joseph Jacob will come around... instead, his heart is broken over it and he never quite recovers. This is the case with envy - we think if we can be someone's superior we win. When we make someone lose, though, we lose, too.



• A remedy: Celebrate others, even when you don't feel like it, so that one day you will feel like it.



• David Crowder Band (lead worship): Gotta dig the instant connection David forms with any crowd, mainly because he just has fun. I mean, who else can combine a tune about the everlasting joy of being in God's love forever, and ever, and ever... with the Super Mario Brothers theme song? Yet this was (unfortunately) the only session Crowder and his band led worship in. In past conventions when he does it longer it's usually around day two that the crowd and the band become soulmates... today, though, it was just a party (although a good one at that). Funny how some songs (like Remedy) take on new life when done live... although the theme from Fox's NFL seemed a bit out of place when the band was on its way off stage. I could have used a shot of something else off the new CD, but who am I to complain?

nywc: atlanta - day three, part 3

Here are my notes from Louie Giglio's talk:

• We are a part of a prevailing Kingdom. Jesus said, "I'm going to build My church... hell itself will not stop me." Note that He didn't say He will build our churches, but His Church. When we take part in Christ, we take part in an unstoppable mission.


• Simultaneous to prevailing means living in a reality where heaven and earth and hell collide... while we do have victory, sometimes life hurts. God essentially says, "When my reality and your reality connect you will have peace."


• John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."


• Interesting timing here... for Jesus had not yet conquered death at the cross. What does this mean when He says it?


• People usually see the world one of two ways... "Life is hard, so get used to it" or "Being a Christian is smooth sailing if you just claim power against the evil." There is instead of these an overlapping reality of Jesus ruling over all things, using even the backward and broken to allow the good and the graceful to happen.


• Saying "God does everything for a reason" and "You just have to trust God" can only go so far... they are true statements, but we have to acknowledge that life hurts, too.


• The cross mashes freewill and sovereignty together. On the day that the people freed Barabbas instead of Jesus, it looked like freewill hijacked the day. Not so, for a God who operates within and yet transcendent of time used the choice of man to bring about His ultimate desire of redemption and Trinitarian glory.


• The cross proves that God can use the greatest evil for the greatest good... the cross tells us God loves us.


• The perspective of God gives us hope to look at something tragic and see its beauty - God says we can give Him the worst tragedy in the world and watch Him lift it up to something beautiful.

Louie then closed by sharing a story of a girl far from God who came to trust in Him as Lord and Savior during her last year of college. Along the way of coming up to graduation, she lost her life in a tragic car accident. While her divorced parents differ in how they see faith, her mom (who is also a Christ-follower) forwarded emails her daughter and Louie exchanged on to her husband. Her husband, an atheist, wrote Louie and said that while he disagreed with the idea of faith he appreciated watching who his daughter had become before she died. He and Louie are still exchanging emails, and while there is no tidy bow on the end of this story... it is anchored in the cross - even if the dad doesn't know it yet.

nywc: atlanta - day three, part 2

First, an observation...

I have noticed that when people are in a crowd like the one we're in, there is some pressure to dance. The artists are known to say things like, "Alright, ya'all... I want to see everyone in this room up on their feet and when I say 'dookie dookie' you need to jump on up." Thanks, but I'm at the stage in life when I get to decide what to do on 'dookie dookie,' but I'm also still young enough to vertical dance/jump up when that's what feels like the right thing to do in such a 'dookie dookie' moment.

That's not the observation, though. The real observation is the people who try to actually do the vertical dance/jump during these times.

• The rookie: This is often someone dressed in a shirt with a collar. Male or female, you can tell they came to the event to take notes and not to vertical dance/jump up during 'dookie dookie.' Their jumping is usually cautious, and after about three or four attempts up and down, they stop to evaluate how they're doing, recalibrate with the crowd, then try three or four more and repeat the process.
  


• The charismatic: This individual is a bit dangerous... makes people around them afraid to take their eyes off of them. If they had their way, they'd give him five feet all to himself. But they can't... so they don't... and they are afraid... very afraid... of being stomped on.
  


• The arm-folder: This is that guy or gal who refuses to vertical dance/jump up during 'dookie dookie' but still goes into the front area where everyone is gathered who wants to jump dance during 'dookie dookie' - and I find this amazingly confusing.
  


• The punker: This title doesn't mean to imply the person is a punk rocker, but rather they have a barbaric way about them in jump dancing. You can tell if they really wanted to they could go pro and win some trophies for the energy they put into the deal... if only it was an Olympic sport.

Now, an overview...

• Brent Longenecker (entertainment): I can do that... I just don't want to.
  


• Jeff Allen (comedian): This guy cracks me up... he's like a funny Tim Allen... who just woke up.
  


• Bill Arnold (comedian): Nice... nice... not thrilling, but nice.
  
  
• Family Force Five (music): I have to laugh... I just do. I don't know if it's a Christian Kid Rock concert or simply a joke I'll never get. These guys have talent - don't get me wrong. What they do with it, though, blows the mind. I had to use the restroom during this part... they sound amazing from the stalls.
  
  
• Michelle (Compassion International): Wow... I had no idea. I believe I must do something about this... to see someone be blessed by this ministry AND open a school of the arts to minister in her country AND now sponsor a child of her own? To see what God is doing in and through this gal's life blew me away. I sat close to her, too... watching her worship was life-enlarging.
  


• Louie Giglio (speaker): How does he flippin' do it? Every year Louie puts a message together just for me. Only this year I took it in differently... I'll write more on this later, but let me just affirm our God is good. Notes coming later.
  


• Chris Tomlin (lead worship): Tomlin following Louie goes together just like Kibbles and Bits... or something like that. Afterward. Jesse from the band hung out with our church's lead worshipper Mike - they had a cool cat chat about this and that.

nywc: atlanta - day three, part 1

First, an observation:

Sleep is awesome. When you get sleep, suddenly the things you were missing about God have a clear link into your soul. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is sleep... be still, know He is God, and snore.

I share that because I can get so much more out of the general sessions when I have been well rested. I wonder where that might be true in your life today... as you do what you do and have the chance to hear from God in even "that." When we're tired, our God antenna can't get the juice to raise up.

Now, an overview:

Skit Guys (entertainment): I read that they were on the schedule. Unfortunately I missed it because of a family emergency phone call I had to take. Everything is fine now, but it's tough to hear about stuff you can't take care of when you're in another state.

Shane and Shane (lead worship): Man... two guys and two acoustic guitars. I like the pace of starting with these two because it really helps recenter our hearts back on to the Lord.

Phylis Tickle (speaker): The woman can bring it. Some of her points....

• Any religious belief is like a buoy... there is a water proof casing - this is the Story; there is a loosely knit sleeve - this is what we consensually imagine the world is (not always true, but because there is collective agreement we feel it's true); then a three-braided strand inside that includes spirituality (the interior experience with God), morality (the exterior expression of God), and corpriality (physical evidences that a religion has been institutionalized (use of certain hymns over others, priests wearing robes, doctrine, creeds, etc).



• As long as the Story is fine, we're in good shape. As long as the mesh sleeve is fine, we're in good shape. But if someone penetrates through REFORMATION happens... a rummage sale of what we'll keep and dump. For the explorers, this was discovering the world wasn't flat... for Martin Luther, this was penetrating through the catholic church... and so on. These days, there is something stirring, which is why we find ourselves asking the big questions.
  
  
• "Where is the authority?": When people push on something other people don't want pushed on, questions like "Who gave you the right to..." or "When did God ever give us the freedom to..." come up from the resisters. Track back to Martin Luther, and this is what his opposers pushed back.
  
  
• "Where is the power?": It used to be that power was on a chart from the top down, but now it no longer matters. Martin Luther had the printing press, and we now have the internet. Just as you read this blog, so has this become a part of your thinking for the day. Get enough of that going and power will become more and more grassroots than authoritative. I wonder how denominations will respond to this. Gets back into Andy Stanley's talk yesterday.
  
  
• Changes that are made in reformation - the "New Rose": Liturgical Christians (faith based), Social justice Christians (works based), Renewalist Christians (experiential based), and Conservative Christians (change/non-change based) are forced to either move further into their quadrants or gather around the center. As the concentric circles of agreement is formed, a "new rose" (reference to the Reformation) is formed where agreement and appreciation of differences is formed. This is scary, of course, for it's one thing to do it within Christianity and another to do it with any belief system. This is why those insecure with anything that's emerging will run into their corner and hide. (I think we need them to do this, though, or else the quadrant gets lost altogether.)
  
  
• When we've gone through any kind of change like this in the past, there is always a bloody consequence and deeply divisive conversation. How we choose to deal with this is in our court... the future of the church for the next 500 years is "in our hands" (really, it's in Jesus' hands, but He keeps doing hand offs).

Chris Tomlin (lead worshipper): I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to be giving his best effort every time he leads. It's like he's in on this journey to connect with God himself and not just to "do his songs." That makes all the difference between me standing/singing versus engaging/worshipping.

---

Now, that aside, after the speaker got off the stage I went over to thank her for presenting and ask if we could talk. Her sociological insights alone were well worth the price tag of the convention, and the audience knew that (evidenced by their standing ovation). I really loved her last thought... "If you get up off your knees before thirty minutes have passed you've probably missed everything I've said here today."

That's why the gentleman who cut in front of me confused me. His problem was that in all that she said she shared insights that weren't directly out of the Bible. Although (in my opinion) they were biblical in nature, because she didn't quote things chapter and verse she was "off."

First off, this is wrong for anyone to do to a speaker after they've put themselves out there for 45 minutes. I am most vulnerable to criticism right after a sermon, and tend to take it too deeply in that moment. Likewise, it's the worst time for me to hear affirmation because then my ego just gets bigger. This was bad timing altogether.

Then there's the issue of tone... it was very negative, which can discourage someone from coming back to speak again. Marko was there to point this out to the gentleman, during which time I had the chance to thank Ms Tickle for her message and try to put a healthy deposit into her spirit. She's a pro and didn't need it, but hopefully God used it nonetheless.

So I stepped into run some interference. This guy had a chip he needed to get off his shoulder... okay, I'll take that, thanks.

"Can I just ask about what you're bothered by?" He responded... with full passion, fearful than unless we quote the Bible we're just drifting off on our own. I asked if he'd seen Shane Claiborne last night, and he said he missed it but heard about it and thought that "Was great!"

Clearly, this guy is into the Bible. I mean, I'm into the Bible, but then there's idolatry of the Bible. I'm not saying this is what he's struggling with, but it could be.

"What's your fear in all of this?" I asked. More dumping out... this was helping him diffuse. Cool.

"Can I ask if you communicate every week?" He does. "My guess is that you read from the Bible, but maybe add some thoughts on top of it, right?" He does. "So Shane is one extreme, and Phylis is another... you're in the middle, and I get that because I am, too."

Tracking.

"I'm with you on the Bible, but even the Bible itself says that we will worship God in Spirit and in Truth. Maybe she was less on the trackable 'Truth' for your tastes, but that doesn't diminish the role of the Spirit."

"God gave us the Bible," he said, "and that's how He speaks. There is no other way."

Wow. Okay... I can argue, or... judo approach.

"So what's your thought on the Bible speaking about how if we have not love everything we do is but a clanging cymbal?" I shared this, by the way, while everyone else in the room was worshipping God through Chris Tomlin's tunes. Meanwhile, my new friend was yelling and distracting everyone... ironic timing.

"YES! BUT JESUS OVERTURNED THE MONEY-CHANGERS IN THE TEMPLE, TOO!" Now he was pointing to make his point. "AND THE BIBLE SAYS TO WHOM MUCH HAVE BEEN GIVEN MUCH IS TO BE EXPECTED! IF SOMEONE IS TO STAND ON A STAGE THEN THEY HAVE TO STAND ON THE BIBLE!"

Check.

"So... would you say what she did is sin?"

Smile on his face. "Yes."

Checkmate.

"Because the Bible also reminds us that if someone is caught in a sin that we who are spiritual are to restore that person. But we need to do this with gentleness and respect and reverence, right?"

Pause.

"Well..." And that's when the conversation was its healthiest. He did admit that he came on too strong and got lost in making a point. His concern was to be sure that he spoke with her and not about her, which I do respect. It's easy to toss bombs at people from a blog or afar, but I respect it when someone is willing to make the connection in person. Bad timing and spirit, of course, notwithstanding.

So hopefully while I've shared this situation with you, I have tried to do the same... gentleness and respect matter in all matters. Please hold me accountable in this.

nywc: atlanta - day two, part 3

First, an observation:

Top Ten Things heard after Shane Claiborne's talk tonight: (not really, but really)

• "I didn't pay to hear the Bible at this conference."



• "Is he going to come back in a minute and do some more fire stuff? I've seen Hulk Hogan leave and come back before."



• "Um..." (thought bubble: "I know that the Bible is the ultimate sermon and all but I, well... can I even go where I want to go with this for a minute?")



• "How bout them pants on dat guy?"



• "How come we didn't do the 'thine is the kingdom' thing during the Lord's prayer? Shouldn't we do it like Jesus did?"



• "I'm totally doing that every week! That's exactly what the Rabbis taught their Qui-Gon-Sefer Talmuds to do on the Day of Atonement in the early church... the early church rocks. Let's go get some pizza."
  
  
• "Did you see that guy's hair? Total weave."



• "Hey... did you guys see my bag of free hacky sacks? Seriously... don't mess with me on this."



• "Marko's going to get another email from Andy Stanley in about a year."



• "That took guts."

Now, an overview...

• Darren Streblow (comedian): I like this guy a lot... seemed a bit mechanical tonight, though. Not bad for a warm-up.
  
  
• Third Day (music): There was a time in my life when I think Third Day was my favorite band. I still have those CDs, but now they're more a band I can listen to. Or so I thought... once they cranked up some of their older tunes - the ones I still own - I found myself compelled to join in.
  
  
• Curt Cloninger (drama): Haven't seen Curt in a few years... this guy gets better with age. I was really impressed by the vocal mannerisms he gave his character tonight. It takes a lot of skill for a skilled speaker to intentionally speak without skill.
  
  
• Joe Castillo (narrative sand art): Amazing again... good choice of background music, but a shade too loud.
  
  
• Desperation Band (lead worshippers): Okay... I officially like these guys.
  
  
• Shane Claiborne (speaker): In case you missed it, Shane did a standard intro, then played around with fire eating and did a backflip to emphasize all he "could" do at a YS convention. Then he went on to read the Sermon on the Mount... all of it... then the rest of all of it... then all of it some more... and the last all of it... and then the end of all of it... and then all of it.
  
  You could feel the room's constipation.
  
  Then he said "This is the greatest sermon ever preached," and walked off the stage.
  
  Tic Long came up and played the role I've played before when you bring in a band or speaker to an event and they're not what you expected. "How do I tidy this up?" we ask. Granted, Tic did it in such a way that you didn't feel much of that. But for those who needed a modern conclusion to a postmodern presentation, it fit nicely.
  
  This is a great trick Shane pulled out of his pocket, but you only get so many of them as a speaker. If you decide one week, for instance, to "not show up" to you speaking gig/sermon/talk to make people feel uncomfortable, you can't do it again the next time, and the next time, and the next time. Winston Chuchhill's infamous "NEVER GIVE UP" speech only goes over well once.
  
  Did Shane make his point? Will people talk about the value of living out what we already know instead of demanding more?
  
  You did read this blog thus far, did you not?

nywc: atlanta - day two, part 2

First, an observation:

You know how when you're at a concert and you're trying to enjoy yourself... and then there are those people who always seem to be doing a Statue of Liberty pose with their camera phones? It's not even like they're trying to get a quick snap of a picture and then move on. No... instead, they're working the angles, trying to get the perfect picture of the lead singer in perfect pose... which never happens... so they keep trying.

That would be bad enough.

Except there are those who in the process of doing all of that try to do the vertical crowd dance... you know that dance, right? The one where everyone dances by jumping.

Jumping.

So we have the camera phone people, and then we have the camera phone people who do the vertical jump while trying to take a picture (still in perfect Statue of Liberty form), who can't quite understand why their pictures turn out so blurry.

Argh.

Anyway, I share that because I have become that camera phone guy.

Doing the vertical dance.

My apologies.

Now, the overview:

• Joe Castilo (narrative sand art): This is new... after several years of NYWC, I really enjoyed this fresh angle to kick things off. Given the stage layout, very interactive. Through the use of sand on top of a light, the Story of God was introduced.
  
  
• Tic/Marko/Jeanne (convention theme): Intros are awesome... I love the team approach to setting the tone.
  
  
• Marquis Laughlin (reading): The guys I'm with really enjoyed this monologue presentation of Revelation. I thought the same thing would have been more powerful if teenagers did it instead of this gentleman, but his voice and diction couldn't be argued with.
  
  
• Marko (convention rules): Always a guaranted guffaw.... Marko does Yac proud.
  
  
• Flatfoot 56 (music): I'm just not interested in jumping up and down because a guy on stage tells me to. I am, though, impressed by this group's spirit and stage presence... it will allow for great ministry to teens. I wouldn't mind a copy of the last tune they did - a Scottish punk version of Amazing Grace.
  
  
• Andy Stanley (speaker): Great thoughts on how there will be a time when you will be the most important man/woman in the room. What you do in that moment will determine the character of your team and the legacy you leave behind. Jesus knew God put all things under his power, and in response He took off his visible signs of authority and washed His disciples feet. If no servant is greater than his master, we should do the same. I'll be listening to that one again.
  
  
• Desperation Band (lead worshippers): First time I've seen these guys live... didn't know a couple of their tunes but jumped in. Not bad... not bad.

nwyc: atlanta - day two, part 1

It was the wee hours of the morning today...

I had left my comrades in our presidential suite room and headed down to the mezzanine (what a fancy word) to try to get my computer to work better. Rather, I was trying to get the internet connection to work better. I had ten minutes worth of stuff to do that ended up taking me two hours.

The good news, though, is that God apparently had some plans for me.

As I sat there, by myself at around 1:30am, another gentleman sat down. "Every time you think you're all alone someone comes to spoil it, eh?" he said with a smile.

"Oh, that's fine, man... no problem."

He settled into his space and began chowing down on some late night food. After a bit he asked, "So where you from?"

Ah... I realized this was a God window. I shut my laptop... dang it... really needed to send that email.

"I'm from Ohio these days... I grew up in the Chicago area, though. How about you? Are you traveling through?"

"I am actually headed to Florida," he said. "I'm from the Milwaukee area originally."

And so we chatted... he asked what I did... I told him... then he started talking about God... I listened... and then I talked about my story... he listened... and God's Story... he listened.

Somehow we got to a place where he felt comfortable to share something with me. Something that he's never told anyone. Something that deals with his sexuality preferences.

Wow. Wasn't expecting that one, God.

Somehow, though, this wasn't a conversation about "that." Rather, it was a conversation about the journey he was on with God. Again, not because I was talking shop but because he would say things like, "I wish I could be delivered from this... I want to be, I really do."

Wow. Wasn't expecting that one, God, either.

And so we talked... and I shared a few thoughts from the Bible (which I happened to have with me). We read through Genesis 1 and 2 together, for this is how God made us originally to be. Anything from chapter three on is all but a distorted picture of that, whether it's heterosexual or homosexual. Sure, we could argue one is more distorted than the other, but I find that while its easy to point out homosexual sin we often tend to excuse the heterosexual lusts many know all to well as "natural."

Anyway, this isn't a post about "that." It's a post about a conversation, because here's the kicker...

somehow in my sleep-deprived state (having just come off of ten hours of travel, with only three hours of sleep the night before, and three the night before that)...

he saw something.

Or rather, Someone.

"Can I just tell you something?" he began. "You have this... I don't know how to even describe it... it's like you have a beautiful spirit about you. I mean, I've never talked to anyone about this before and I feel like I can talk with you even though it's an awkward topic. You're such a beautiful person inside and I can't even tell you why. Does that make sense?"

Wow. Wasn't expecting that, God.

At the end of the conversation, he wanted another one. In fact, he'd like to take me out to eat with he and his "friend." I told him, "Sure, but just so we're clear, God does have a plan for your relational life and that's where I'm coming from. That doesn't mean He doesn't love you if you fall short in that, so if we get together again are you cool with me staying in that place?"

"Absolutely," he said.

So we'll see.

Oh, and I think I swung another three hours of sleep... somehow getting through the day.

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:5-6)

nywc: atlanta - day one, part 1

This morning I kissed my wife and boys goodbye, prayed for safety, and then headed out with a couple buddies (Mike and Jon) down to Atlanta for the National Youth Worker's Convention. We had plans to intersect with my buddy Scott once we got down there, since he drove from Michigan/Indiana and we came from Ohio.

First off, the ten hour drive went by fast. I love it when you travel with people and the conversation is easy... and, well, they're willing to do the obligatory stop at the first White Castle you see (official road trip rule #2). To top it off, there were some amazing colors of trees in deep valleys that went on and on that simply took our breath away.


Then we hit the city... and some interesting memories popped up. The last time I'd been to Atlanta it was just a month after I had my last full-time youth pastor role. I remember how awkward that trip was for me, not to mention I'd taken it with the guy who was replacing me at the time.


Now I'm here as a lead pastor doing what I can to create space for the emerging generation in the church at large... hopefully I can make a dent in the name of Jesus. I got to drive down with two great guys whom I serve with and meet ip with my buddy Scott, whom I've had the humble honor of serving with and being good friends with through thick and thin.

Wow. I mean, how undeserving am I to be here?

Which kind of relates to this.

We made it in time to enjoy the Steve Fee concert, but along the way of walking over from the luxurious suite room we have at the Super 8 I made a new friend named Rodney who happens to live on the streets. We talked a bit and it turned out he was hungry, so we took care of that and chatted in line while we waited for the one person behind the counter at Wendy's to take care of the 30 people standing in line.

But I digress.

Rodney was uncomfortable because he's normally not allowed into the food court by security. I looked at him and said, "I invited you, Rodney. You're with me." So to calm the air, we started swapping stories.

I learned Rodney's story, and shared some of mine. Within that, God's Story came up more than once or twice... and it turned out he knew that Story. In his words, "I know Jesus as my Savior, but not as my Lord. I keep doing things my own way and know that if I were to die tonight I wouldn't go to heaven."

Wow... this guy had some rather honest integrity about his spiritual journey. Needless to say, we talked quite a bit about that choice and how he could iron all that confusion out anytime he wanted to, including "now."

So after we grabbed the food, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to invite him to the Steve Fee concert. Rodney agreed, and so we walked into the convention center. "This is the first time I've ever been in this building," he said. "It's kind of embarassing for me to go into these places because I don't feel like a real person sometimes."

Wow... again. It was in that moment that I realized that I was metaphorically modeling how Christ walks with us into new territory - first the food court he wasn't normally welcome in and now the convention center - and "treats us" to all kinds of things we feel we don't deserve. Maybe we don't deserve those treats, but God keeps on offering nonetheless.

"I invited you... you're with Me."

So not only did Rodney come in and eat his Wendy's food to some worship tunes, but he looked at me on more than one occasion and smiled... the kind of smile that tells me he had more than one meal tonight.

I think I did, too.

"[Jesus] said to them, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." (John 4:32)

and yet more from a conference I didn't go to

Some great audio from the Emergent Midwest gathering.

What I really enjoy is that someone took seriously a suggestion I made earlier this year that events like this need counterintuitive voices - people who don't quite buy into the "emerging church" movement. If a group values diversity, then it needs to involve diverse voices... I think that only helps lend sight to the blind spots.

my non-notes on the willow creek leadership summit

While many people will be participating in the Willow Creek Leadership Summit the next few days, I had the pleasure of being on Willow's campus yesterday before the conference began today. Here's a picture of the stage.

Here are the toilets I used to clean when I was on staff as a custodian one summer.

Here are the rows of chairs I became a Christian in.

(Good thing I got those pictures in the right order)

So while I won't be attending and can't give you conference notes like this guy, I can give you notes on what it was like to eat a piece of Gino's East pizza yesterday for lunch.

"Mmm..."

"Moist."

"Crunchy."

"Melty."

"Mmm..."

"Saucy."

"Cheesy."

"Sausage-ey."

"Lovely."

"Mmm..."

"Amazing."

"Crunchworthy"

"Ah..."

"Tomato-ey."

"Cornbready."

"Not enoughy."

nywc06: monday am - pt. 1

I've really enjoyed the times the YS staff has provided for everyone to interact with God on your own terms. At the last general session, we had such an opportunity to reflect on what God has spoken into our lives using several elements around the room. A phrase that I utilized to sum up what God revealed to me at the convention was "remember who you are." It would seem that is a lot easier when we remember who God is and how we stand in relationship to him... not the other way around.

Marko did a great job sharing the message that had been put on his heart about meekness. I can't say I ever recall hearing a session begin with, "Hi, I'm Marko and I'm an arrogant *ss." Based on how he unpacked it from there, I really have no problem with that intro. In fact, the very idea that we can become arrogant in our faith and ministry is something we need to be cautious of... while not becoming too cautious. It's arrogant to believe God wants to use you to change the world... it's cautious to remember the God part.

Nice pic of Marko getting a backrub, eh?

Takeaway questions:

• What does the glory of God fully unleashed in my life look like? Might I ever see that on this side of heaven?
• Whom do I need to extend more sensitivity to that I am more inclined to put up boundaries with?
• How does ministry look any different when we remember God comes first?

nywc06: sunday pm - pt. 3

For dinner we ate at Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery (although the latter part of that didn't mean much for our table). Afterward we ordered some dessert because (as we all know) nothing makes more sense than being full and ordering extra food.

Ever feel like the descriptions of dessert at certain restaurants need to be reviewed and rated by Focus on the Family?

"Fresh Granny Smith apple slices and pears are coated in cinnamon sugar and nestled between layers of rolled oats, brown sugar, and walnuts, then baked golden brown and served hot from the oven. Topped with vanilla ice cream and homemade caramel sauce."


"Simply sublime. We start with a moist chocolate brownie, top it with rich vanilla ice cream and a buttery nougatine, Stout hot fudge and rasberry sauce."

"Decadence finally has a name. This chocolate lover's cheesecake combines bittersweet chocolate, cocoa, cream cheese, and our smooth Stout with a Semi-sweet chocolate wafer crust. Finished with homemade milk chocolate and sour cream frosting."

They were all Fred Flintstone sized and way too difficult to eat in their entirety. I actually felt a bit guilty indulging in light of several of the homeless people we passed on the street. I'd helped out one, and yet still felt that something wasn't right about eating all this sweet stuff (besides the obvious dietary issues).

Ever feel guilty enjoying a blessing? And if so, why is that? And if not, "shame on you." :)

nywc06: sunday pm - pt. 2

My buddy Chris Folmsbee from Sonlife spoke tonight and hit it out of the park. In true prophetic fashion, he asked questions about what makes the church unique... something we don't often wonder in our attempt to prove to the world how "cool" we are. The message utilized Exodus 33-34 to remind us what it means to glorify God and allow his presence to manifest in all fullness. If we practice this personally, perhaps the world will feel the difference before we try to tell them about it.

Some notes:

• What are your secrets?
• What is the greatest shift we can give the emerging generation of the church?
• Just as Moses confessed the sins of the people including himself, so do we have to take ownership of humanity's rebellion against God.
• Should statistics cause us to do more ministry in urgency... or become the kind of people we are called to be?
• We need to be about extending the quality and frequency of holy moments... not to minimize sin but to experience who God is.
• We are not to be known as professional Christian party planners or the people with a fun program in town... we are to be known as the people of God.

Takeaway questions:

• What am I known for among those I spend a lot of time with?
• How do stranger perceive me?
• Is there anything dfferent about what I'm doing because of who I'm becoming?