the problem and the purpose of evil

I had one of "those dreams" last night.

It was the kind where the presence of evil is somehow present in the dream in a way that "petrifies" you in your dream... and I mean that literally - where you feel frozen up and powerless in the dream for a moment, if not more.

Over the years, my conscious mind has somehow learned to force its way into these unconscious moments. I find myself in my dream sputtering out the name of Jesus - even though it sometimes comes out "J-J-J-J-Jeeeesus."

Perhaps none of that matters, because it was only just a dream.

The thing is when I woke up I realized that with it being Good Friday how little I've considered the problem and purpose of evil in relationship to Jesus being on the Cross. I've certainly recognized His sacrifice this year, but I haven't considered with any weight how much God's adversary was involved in that day.

Theologically, I know all this. 

Personally, I've overlooked it.

That's when I recalled the eyebrow-less representation of Satan as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ... the ending of this scene still gives me encouragement.

There is a problem with evil in our world... even though it can also serve a purpose. The same is true of pain and wounds.

In Eden, God poured out His love by pouring life into humanity.

On the Cross, God poured out His love by pouring out His life.

God made Adam's wife Eve from a wound in his side. 

The Church ("Bride of Christ") was made from
a wound in the side of the second Adam, Jesus.

The same is true of the Cross:

It proclaims God will let
one thing die to bring Life into everything. 

When God seems to be killing us, 
He's actually saving us. 

This is the problem and the purpose of evil.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)

"...and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

"Jesus said, 'It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." (John 19:30)

P.S. If you're local to me, join us at Connection Church at walking through this tonight:  http://www.connectionchurch.org/easter

some new year's resolutions I am begging you to make

If you're reading this, chances are you're someone who either somewhat regularly considers what I put out there or you were simply intrigued by the title of this post. Either way, I have your attention, and am desperate to share some things with you that you need to consider as you go into this new year. I know this language is somewhat extreme, but the opportunity for you to listen with the required ear is rare. After all, this week we're in is normally a time to take stock of the past as you consider your ideal hope for the future.

I'd also like to say that everything I'm about to to share is something I really agree with and believe in, only they aren't ideas I'm bringing up on my own. Specifically, I want to use this post to help you understand "some of what I've been hearing." This includes emails I receive from people in crisis, conversations I have with those whose hearts have been broken, chit-chat I take part in when I'm paying for my gas or buying groceries, and observations I make simply by... well... observing.

So while what follows are my words, it is more accurate to say that these are the thoughts and feelings of the people around you whom you may have no clue about what they are going through.

And they're right next to you.

• A Resolution I Beg You To Make:
  "I resolve to stop talking about people in 'us versus them' categories."
  
  You know that person you enjoy talking about? The one who isn't quite like you or the people in your household? The one who may listen to different music or vote for a different candidate or who raises their kids with different values than you? The one who you would love to have out of your life, only for some reason they keep crossing your path - because they work with you, carpool with you, live by you, attend church services with you, or show up to the same extracurriculars that you do?
  
  That person wrote me something this week that broke my heart.
  
  Because you have been breaking their heart.
  
  Oh, you may not realize it... because you're not calling them nasty names like you might have in junior high. At least, not to their face. Maybe just around the water cooler, or as you look out your front or back window, or online. It's like your behavior is somewhat junior high-esque in that you're giving them the silent treatment in person while grumbling about them behind closed doors.
  
  But they hear you. Trust me... they hear you.
  
  As you look down your nose at the way they talk, dress, or live, you are boxing this person not just out of your life but out of any chance they have of feeling whole around you or your relational circle. Sort of like an insecure teenager trying to be The School Playa or the Queen Bee.
  
  Granted, it's not like you have to become fishing buddies or scrapbooking sisters with everyone, but come on... you're being petty and mean and are tearing apart any chance they have of feeling like a person of any worth when they are around.
  
  Then again, maybe you do realize it. Maybe somewhere deep down you know that you are intentionally making this person feel unwelcome, and are attempting to feel better about yourself by making them feel horrible.
  
  A question - have you ever felt judged or labeled by someone else? Do you remember what it felt like for there to be a line in the sand and on one side was "us" and on the other side was "them?"
  
  If so... and you're tired of seeing hypocrisy continue in the world... stop letting it continue through your life.
  
  Because, again... you're hurting real people with real feelings.
  
  
  
• A Resolution I Beg You To Make:
  "I resolve to stop finger pointing and instead fix the problem with enduring energy."
  
  You may not want to hear this.
  
  Actually, I'm unfortunately confident you don't.
  
  Because the more I observe the patterns in our culture, the more I find that people enjoy their pain more than they care to admit. Specifically, the security that their pain gives them to blame another person for a past wrong than the insecurity of committing to work it out, "no matter what."
  
  After all, it's a whole lot easier to talk about how you were hurt by something someone said or did than it is to admit you are capable of changing the world.
  
  Often when people drive in crazy ways around me, I find myself facing the same temptation you do - to use my middle finger and a whole bunch of unproductive words to let them know how I felt about that. But I resolved a long time ago to not just be angry at the way the world is but to join Jesus in redeeming it. So when I face that road rage temptation I instead wait for the next red light, get out of my car, walk over to the car (at a distance, so to not appear antagonistic), ask that person to roll their window down, and then I say, "Excuse me. That was quite dangerous. Could you please not do that again?" 100% of the time, the person feels awkward that I broke the imaginary line and apologizes back.
  
  Maybe that's not the best example, because it's quite dangerous to talk to someone after such a moment. But my hope is the next time they presume to cut someone off in traffic - perhaps an elderly person, or a new teen driver, or my wife and kids - they will think twice and remember some loon who approached them with manners and forthrightness.
  
  But the example serves the point - you can either finger point and deconstruct what's wrong with the world... or you can enter into chaos so as to soothe it into something more productive. Maybe that chaos is stuff in your family, or the way things go down at work or school on a regular basis. Don't just "try" to change it with 10% of your energy... commit to that change for the long haul with 100% of your energy.
  
  Because you will be looked at as a loon, and it will be somewhat dangerous and insecure.
  
  But I'll tell you from personal experience... the payoff is worth it.
  
  
• A Resolution I Beg You To Make:
  "I resolve to make it my business."
  
  When I worked for a Boys & Girls Club a few years back, one of the employees often told the kids to "mind their own business" whenever they would inform him of something another kid was doing wrong. Keep in mind, it was in an urban neighborhood and so the discipline policies in the club needed to be quite clear. I thought it was often handled quite well, but on this particular philosophy I disagreed. The last thing that neighborhood needed were kids who would grow up and learn that it was wrong to speak up if they saw something wrong going down in their neighborhood.
  
  But that is what we tell people (or ourselves) when we see someone on a downward spiral. It could be their addiction to something that we presume we have no right to speak into, or maybe how they're treating a mutual friend and we're afraid of "getting caught in the middle." Plain and simple, if you are able to recognize that something isn't right, then it is up to you to become a part of the solution.
  
  As much as we try to live as individuals, the bottom line is we are one big community. If what happens on one side of the globe affects the other (hello - have you seen gas prices in recent years?), then why do we presume what happens in our own circle of relationships doesn't have any affect on us, our households, our cities, our regions, our states, and so forth?
  
  You know why we like those positive human interest stories in the paper so much? Because someone had the courage to do what we knew we should have done... someone made a problem "their business" and at least one other person's life changed forever.

That's it - three resolutions. Three that I am begging you to make because if you don't nothing will change.

• You'll keep hurting the people you don't realize you're hurting.
• You'll keep finger pointing instead of grabbing onto anything.
• You'll keep waiting for someone else to see the problem that you already do.

Um... is that how you'd like to go into the next year? The next decade?

I know you nodded your head at least one as you read this.

Please... please... now nod your life in this direction as well.

Me? I'm in...

and I intend to prove it.

what you may be missing out on

Watching the news, I am reminded that pain's biggest deception is that it causes us to think we're the only one's hurting...

even though we're not.

It's odd how the trickle of blood we experience seems to block out our awareness of the massive hemorrhaging of those around us.

I was listening to a CD recently of songs I made during a hard season of life... songs meant to remind me that other lives were on the same journey I was and looking for the Ultimate Anchor. Or as one wordsmith put it:

So hold me Jesus,
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
won't You be my Prince of Peace?

When was the last time you stopped and asked, "What am I missing out on?"

Normally when we ask a question like that it's because our motive is pleasure. We feel boxed in by our lives and have a sense of rebelliousness, wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. This is where affairs happen, gambling addictions begin, and discontent with everything familiar builds.

But what about the other side of that? What about slowing down and asking how the individuals, people, and groups around you are trying to sort out some of life's hardest challenges?

Have you ever felt yourself becoming broken... but consciously decided to recognize and remember that other people around you were already shattered into pieces?

Have you ever in fear held tight all your resources... without realizing you were depriving others of a needed blessing?

Have you ever considered what the gift of a block on time on your calendar could do if you gave it... instead of became mechanically protective of it?

When was the last time you stopped and asked, "What am I missing out on?"

That's why the Church in its truest form is so important. It reminds us to pick our heads up and stop living in our own little story. More than religion or scratching our own itches, it is intended to bring a change unlike any other into this world if its people would rise up and assume the role of servant-leaders that God has said each of us are capable of being.

My sons and I were reading a book this past week that illustrated in comic form what a kid on his way to a church service might think he's about to experience. It's in the genre of the "Teacher From The Black Lagoon" series, where by the end the boy has realized it actually quite better than he'd prejudged. My oldest son immediately commented, "That's just like how it is in real life. People think church is going to be boring or rough, but once you've experienced the real deal you realize it's way cool!'

(I wrote that down, by the way, because I wanted to remember how he said it so purely)

The Church is meant to be a "real-deal" community of people who care about each other. Even hearing of the struggles others are going through reminds me that we're all taking part in something awesome and amazing that will one Day be reconciled by God Himself. Which is why I am floored to hear about stories like these:

• Households who are experiencing challenges on everyday levels, and suddenly other people in our church moving in with love through meals, home care, babysitting, and counsel.
  
• People who are new to understanding the powerful truths of God, and are being mentored and invested into by others who believe helping someone grow in their relationship with the Lord is one of the most important tasks we can take part in.
  
• Skills that normally cost "$x" in the marketplace being gifted into the church for less than that - often free - so that others may experience care and resources they otherwise couldn't afford.
• Guys who are - even as I write this - taking turns filling a pool because in just a couple of days someone is going to proclaim their love with God through baptism.

When was the last time you stopped and asked, "What am I missing out on?"

It's so very sad when "church" becomes about "going to a building on Sunday morning when we feel awake enough to do so." That's like saying the point of sitting down to a hot, juicy New York Strip steak is to appreciate the plate! Check out what Hebrews 10:24-25 says about how it all works:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Are you up for that? Living in a bigger Story?

And not giving up on gathering with others (as some are in the habit of doing) in order to remember the Plot is communal and not individual?

And doing it all so that we might encourage one another as the Day is approaching?

Because that sounds freaking awesome.

We all have this need to "know and be known," as if it's hardwired into our souls. It's planted there so that we would yearn for our Creator and long to know Him, but also so we would choose to pursue relationships with those around us and stop living in our own subplot.

We all want our lives to matter... but to do so requires that we let the lives around us matter more than we often allow them to.

When was the last time you stopped and asked, "What am I missing out on?"

teaching the world to Sing

I'd like to teach the world to Sing... in perfect harmony...

with its Creator.

But I get the sense that most people would rather just settle for kazoos.


Ah...

but then there are others...

others who lean in and learn the melody...

and get others tapping their feet to a new Groove.


Which are you?

family matters

It's Friday as I write this, and I'm still in awe of some things that happened over the past seven days. Beyond sharing in a 15 year anniversary with my beautiful bride and renewing our vows to each other, I got to see what can happen in a family tree when one person commits to Jesus Christ... someone like you or I.

This past Sunday in our church service we dove into the tension that King David deals with under the former King Saul (also his father-in-law), and then David's own issues that eventually integrate into his kids. Without stirring the pot much further, I'd simply suggest you listen to the message and how our family baggage usually gets passed around. (Listen HERE)

You know how this goes, right? There is a pattern in your family that begins to affect everyone around. Whether or not others are directly involved, they are dragged in or served a negative example (which especially impacts kids) that only propagates the cycle. And things only seem to get worse - people don't even know why they're mad at each other... just that they're mad.

In David's family, as in ours, someone was needed to enter the cycle and prevent it from continuing. And the Good News is that later on Someone in David's line did stop that cycle. That "Someone" eventually did enter the family line and lived a life that allowed the cycle to turn around.

In fact He stopped it so sharply that He made it possible for us to do the same.

We can't be Jesus, but we can bear His name in our families. We can be the people who make the cycle become something redemptive and proactive. We can be the people who reset the standard forward instead of backward. We can be the people who make the right difference.

That means you - no matter what you've done to contribute toward the backwardness - can right now begin to allow God to work in you and through you to contribute to the "forwardness."

When we do things like this it shows the world that there IS another way - there is power beyond what we think there is.

And that is power that God has invited us to handle and to share...

to integrate and to educate...

to inspire as we perspire.

As my buddy Brian said, the world has no reason to believe in Jesus unless we're willing to live out His presence. So in a sense, we prove Him to others by our lives even before they've asked a single question... if anything, we give them reason to ask about how/why things are "different."

Remember - even that person in your family whom you are struggling with is not your enemy.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places"(Ephesians 6:13)

A few quick thoughts on integrating this:

• Play by God's rules - not by the person who seems antagonostic. They will bait you in whether they want to or not... decide you won't play the games you're being given pieces for.
  
  
• Keep short lists - decide right away to either deal with the issue or let it go forever.
  
  
• When you deal with issues, make it about the issue and not the person. Always communicate that it is your goal to have a relationship with the person on some level. If the person is an abuser, that relationship will be limited... if that person can become healthy, that relationship can be generous.
  
  
• Be consistent - approach every person with the same criteria, and not just those who are easy to get along with.
  
  
• Find ways to honor roles versus tear at them. Even when your parents have acted less than ideal, honor them as your parents... create ways where they can genuinely add to the family, be it through a special recipe or as the person who prays during family gatherings. Maybe it's something that seems small, but chances are it will be big.
  
  
• Protect everyone - be sure that every family member is guaranteed a certain amount of rights that others have to honor. Fight for them - whether it's certain language patterns that aren't shared in front of kids or gossip that won't be spread out of your own lips. Everyone, for example, should have the right to be listened to - as long as it is done in a respectful tone. This helps foster a spirit of trust and mutual respect in the home.

And of course, remember that it all has to be bathed in prayer.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (Psalm 127:1a)

What patterns has your family struggled with, and how do they affect you?

If Christ has helped you overcome a particular struggle rooted in your family's history, how did He deliver you, and how has your life changed since then?

And are you seeing what God is doing in you having an affect yet on others in your family?

the call after the call

I'm going to be honest about something - sometimes it's hard for my family to be a part of the church.

Yeah, I said it.

If people decide they don't like me or get offended at things the church is doing, not only do we lose potential participants but my wife and kids lose personal friends. That can hurt and be more confusing to understand (let alone explain than the average person realizes.

I know that's a bit transparent. And yet...

I can't imagine a more amazing church for my family to be a part of than Connection Church.

I once did.

And I was wrong.

I want to invite you to read this "classic" post that was written during a time when we were living with my in-laws in a small modular home and my dream job offered me the chance to come serve with them:

http://dontcallmeveronica.blogspot.com/2005/09/call.html

We didn't know one thing about Connection Church at the time, so when we responded to that other church in question it wasn't a "this or that" sort of comparison - it was simply a pure question of how to follow God as a household and honor both. We didn't have a plan "B" by turning down plan "A" - until we realized that plan "A" was actually plan "B" - and suddenly "not settling" in anything but the calling (even without a tangible destination) became plan "A."

But today I am thankful to know that our family is in the right place because the people we get to do life with through this congregation are imperfectly perfect for us. I am so, so thankful to be on the journey with them and pray for the day when every person in the region we live in comes into a fully-alive relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you're a part of Connection Church or once were, I want you to know that my family is committed to your household, whether you are committed to us in the same way.

And if you aren't... come move to where we live and be a part of the most amazing church I've ever had the humble privilege of being a part of, let alone serving in as its pastor.

That's not a commercial... that's an opportunity.

Are you in?

http://www.connectionchurch.org/

foolish growth

We all know what it means to fail, don't we? There's that thing we do that we know we shouldn't do, but we do it anyway. Intentional rebellion is a serious thing.

But is that the end of the story?

I found this intriguing slice from an article by Gordon McDonald. He offers some great perspective on how sometimes in our failures our Lord transforms us into what we apparently could not have become otherwise. Check it out:

[I] highlight the exchange between Jesus and Simon Peter in which the Lord says, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

Most of us know that this conversation is a preface to Simon Peter's humiliating performance in the backyard of the Temple's high priest. Simon denies three times that he had ever known Jesus, much less been among his disciples. That was followed by the rooster's crowing and a look into the eyes of Jesus. The two together—the crowing and the eyes—must have been more than he could bear. He rushed into a back alley and "wept bitterly."

More than once I have asked myself this question: if Jesus knew so clearly what was coming, why he didn't offer Simon counsel on how to avoid the upcoming bad moments? I would have. But then I often try to fix people before or after they make a jerk of themselves.

One chuckles at Peter's brazenness in the upper room when he says, "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death." Ready indeed!

Well, at least Peter was warned. But it appears to me that the Savior was far less concerned about his disciple's upcoming collapse of character and far more concerned about what he'd learn and how he would act afterwards when he might get his act back together.

What occurs to me is that Jesus must have planned to use an experience of failure to teach Peter a lesson that he apparently could not learn any other way.

There's a thought here. If the Lord desires that a person grow, it looks like he doesn't mind allowing that person to make a perfect fool of himself or herself if the process leads to better things. Christ-followers who judge themselves or others by only a standard of perfection might want to consider this.

As someone who has made a fool of himself on more than one occasion, I want to encourage you to embrace the refreshing promise that failure doesn't end with a period when Jesus is a part of the sentence...

(Yeah, I sort of left that thought hanging there on purpose. If you need something a bit more conclusive about foolish growth to hang your hat on, I'd suggest this)

from/for the mouths of babes

A 12-year old girl decided to enter a speech contest at her school with this controversial topic. They almost didn’t let her compete. Then she won – but they disqualified her because of the topic she chose. Wow.

Turns out there was a big disagreement between the judges afterward. One stepped down and the others soon reversed their decision so now this girl is competing regionally... and sharing something important.

30 days of thanks/giving

Our church recently began a movement that is quite simple... and yet so many seem baffled by. It's why special shows like "American Idol Gives Back" are more popular than the regular version, why Bono is so fascinating these days, and why teenagers like Zach Hunter are change-ing the world.

So we are simplifying it all down into bite-sized life change, calling it 30 days of "thanks/giving."

What would happen if instead of waking up each day wondering how the world was going to serve you there was instead a decision to let your focus be less demanding? What might it look like to take intentional steps of thankfulness and find ways to become more giving? It doesn't have to be an extreme version - even a small, practical version that has extreme ripples... would you be game?

I took that on myself this month, and have (like some in our church) been keeping track of my efforts. I'm almost halfway through the month and thought it was time to share an update:

• November 1: Tonight I was in the middle of some personal spiritual feeding time and got a phone call that someone I'd hung out with needed me to run an errand for him. We just met (knew each other via the internet beforehand) - but hey, the perfect opportunity to be "giving" sometimes comes by surprise.



• November 2: Today I get to have lunch with some good friends that I don't get to see that often. I will find a place where we can sit down, eat well (on a budget), laugh long, and speak honest words of encouragement and challenge into each other.



• November 3: Shelly (the gal who serves the needs for seminar folks like myself) has gone above and beyond the call of duty. Today I want to sit down and listen to figure out what's going on in her life - a gift of time - so that I can pray for her this week. More than the usual prayer that Christians say they'll do - the real stuff. And when I get home I will give my family a long, long, long hug and lots of kisses.



• November 4: I fell short of my goal today - I wasn't able to give my family the kind of time I'd hope to give them. This is horrible considering how I was gone over the weekend



• November 5: I'm in need of a new groove with God, which means I've grown out of some habits that I need to grow back into. But this needs to be more than just adding stuff to my spiritual to-do list - this is about jabbing at my faith from a fresh angle, even if it's an angle I'm familiar with. And so today I want to give God the gift of my attention - I want to do my best to hit slow-mo on everything I see and process today, constantly checking in with Him for perspective, guidance, and wisdom. When He says "do this," I want to start doing it in between the "do" and the "this." Oh, may I be as giving to Him today as I hope.



• November 6: I found out one of my neighbors can't go to Women's Connection tomorrow night due to no one to watch her kids. Now she has someone to do it.



• November 7: I was asked to share some insights with a group of pastors, but instead I want to give them the steering wheel. Granted, I'm responsible to get the ball rolling but I really want to serve their questions versus sound off my own agenda the whole time.



• November 8: Today I am giving encouragement all day long to anyone I connect with via email, phone, TXT, or in person. A little extra touch that hopefully matters. Not because I have to, but because I want to. Especially the kids I'm watching tonight for LIFE Group - another joy of giving.



• November 9: I am thankful for baptisms today. So thankful that I am writing this while I sit here in the building at 4am while the pool fills. Another all-nighter.



• November 10: This is family week... to kick things off, I'm going to be on the same schedule as my family. I'm normally a late night guy, but this next week is one where I try to rub shoulders with them more. It paid off right away - Joshua said, "Yay! We get to all have breakfast together!"



• November 11: I am determined on this day off to be fully present with my family. Meaning, I won't sleep in like I normally do... I'll be up as best as I can.



• November 12: Today I've chosen to say "yes" to whenever my kids ask me to do something with them. From playing cars to wrestling, I'm in.
  
• November 13: Somewhere today, I want to spend time thanking God. It needs to be an overflow, and so I don't want to force it out. But I just want to spend time thanking Him from a genuine place. Which means I need to get to that place somehow.

Perhaps this is the first you're hearing of this, or maybe you've been trying to figure out how to do it. In any event, you still have half a month left. Consider all that God has done and is doing in our lives, and let your heart be motivated to be thankful and giving, like a great big IOU to God.

I-nward

O-utward

U-pward

Maybe it’s time to talk about your faith out loud, give someone who annoys you a gift of time, forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it, sing a praise song with gusto, surrender your wallet to God, or write out a praise and read it to others. Celebrate at least one thing you do each day and find a way to track it - or download one of our cards HERE.

“All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.” (1 Cor 4:15)

grow and go against the (perceived) norm

I was reading recently about a politician who stated that if you donated ___ dollars to his campaign that you might be chosen to hang with him in person at an upcoming event.

And it hit me - the "GROW & GO" movement our church is doing this summer flies in the face of that thinking... and I love it.

That's not a political statement, mind you. That's just the example that floated my way this week. Last week I would have written about a guy who told me in an email that he'd like to send me a copy of his "best book ever" if I'd make a certain donation to his non-profit. Or there's the free contest down the street for a Wii hoping to get you to fill out your address, phone number, yearly income, how many kids you have, how many kids you hope to have, what your blood type is, if you've ever sat down for a time share presentation before... and, well, you get the picture.

Let me ask you something...

• What would happen if someone was on a corner giving Wii's away for free - no strings attached?
• Or if that guy gave out his book for free without any donation?
• Or if that politician gave every American a chair to sit down in at least once a day during one of his meals?

I know, I know... I'm being impractical.

Which is why I love what our church just started doing. Something very, very "impractical." Something that reveals how impractically normal the free love of God is in a world that is used to not getting anything for free.

What is GROW & GO? We've been meeting for two services on Sunday since earlier in the year, and then decided that for July and August we were going to tweak things. We went down to one service that we call our "GROW" service, and then made our second slot a "GO" service where we launch out into the community to do intentional and practical loving acts of service.

This past week it was a "fast food buy" and "vending machine food giveaway." The plan was for our people to spend 45 minutes or so buying food for random strangers in the community, whether it was the people behind them in the fast food lane or by leaving free food strategically placed in vending machines around town. We attached a card that read:

Yes… it really is free!

We hope this small gift is a blessing to your day. It’s our simple way of letting you know that God loves you… right now.

If there is anything we can do, though, give us a call. We’d love to help you in a practical way or simply hang out and talk about the stuff that matters. www.ConnectionChurch.org

The stories that have poured in have been amazing. Here's just one:

The community outreach on Sunday was awesome. I went out with Mike, Rosemary, Jon and Sue. After a trip through the Wendyʼs drive thru we stopped in at Chipotle and had lunch for ourselves. I paid for half of the coupleʼs lunch behind me. It was really great to see how they reacted when they went to pay for their food. After they were done they came up smiling and gave a sincere thank you. We could tell they were very moved by it and it made my whole week. Mike and Rosemary stopped in at Blockbuster and paid for a few movie rentals, I thought that was a great idea. Overall I think it was very successful.

- Jack

This next week we're putting "break packs" together of chips, drinks, and something sweet. We'll hit random places and ask people working, "Hey have you had your break yet? If not, here's something for you free to enjoy." I hope we bless the socks off of everyone from the minimum wage earning teenager to the weary adult who has decided the world is selfish and so "why bother?"

Now maybe you're wondering why we put the church tag on that card. Maybe the best outreach is anonymous? Often it is, like these shirts we made up some time ago that have absolutely no tag to our church.

I find that other times, though, we want people to know where they can continue to find God, love, care, grace, and tools for growth. So sometimes we tag this kind of stuff. Which means we receive their address and info only when they indicate they'd like to begin a two-way relationship of communication.

What I'm most excited about, though, is that many people will end up rethinking the way the world works. And maybe key into the way it's supposed to work. Like the examples I first mentioned:

• The politician wants to know you're worth his time before he gives you an audience - so surveys and polls are done of "key areas" and the fact that you would donate money is a sign that you have merit. What if none of that was required for his time?
• The non-profit wants to get your info so they can solicit you again for future donations and share more stories of how you can help. So before you get a free book, you gotta give some cash. What if the book was given out without that, though... because if it is the best book ever then everyone wins.
• The Wii giveaway? They're buying your information for free... and they'd like to make more they have it all before you win. What if the company decided instead to give a Wii away simply to bless someone's day.

I know, I know... still impractical.

And yet doesn't something within you wish that this was the way the world worked?

And maybe in wishing that, we can take a practical step in that direction.

I think those are the footprints Jesus left for us to follow.

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. (James 2:14-18)

"And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." (Matthew 10:42)

Yes, our Father God wants to give you the free gift of heaven through a relationship that He makes possible as Jesus Christ and empowers as the Holy Spirit. But He is also looking to change the currently-broken world so that His will may be on earth as it is in heaven.

And He is looking for men and women who want that change to start in them and through them.

May we GROW and GO against the "norm" so that the True Normal can be revealed, one loving act at a time in the Way of Jesus.

totally tubular rescue

Ever want to pick a fight with a strange kid in a Play Place?

This week I struggled with that when I took my boys out to grab some lunch. Afterward we hung out in the play place and I let them do their thing in the tubes, crawling and climbing into the stratosphere. Within a few minutes, though, I heard some commotion up in its far reaches... apparently one of my boys had gotten slugged by another kid.

Keep in mind, I'm all for kids working out their own issues whenever possible. Given the enclosure of those tubes, though, I was a bit concerned it would continue since most kids assume adults can't get up there. Thoughts of "two men enter, one man leaves" began to pound within my head, so within seconds I'd climbed up into "Thunderdome."

I discovered a five-year old boy was the culprit, and he was smiling about it. Yes... he was actually smiling. You see, this kid didn't accidentally step on my son's toes - he slugged him and he didn't care.

Meanwhile, I could spot his mom in the next room who was hearing from the kid's big brother what happened. She eventually came over... after she ate her fries and sandwhich first, not to mention a free drink refill.

Here's what I realized as my blood began to boil - one of my boys was hurt, this other kid did it on purpose, no one was helping, and I didn't want it to happen any further.

And so I found myself itching to pick a fight wth a strange kid in a Play Place.

But not really.

Well, yeah... I guess really.

Nothing bad, though - I did swing a good Clint Eastwood stare down (sorry, I'm not perfect).

Let me step out of my carnality to share a God connection here.

Jesus Christ hears the cries of His people everyday and engages in a passionate, all-out search and rescue for us. His love is seen in His death by crucifixion and life through Resurrection, and yet it transcends it - for while these events happened in time they leap up into the "tubes" of eternity to connect with us on a daily basis. God's constantly dealing with a devilish adversary who smiles while hurting those the Lord cares about... and He doesn't want it to happen any further.

And here's what's even more amazing...

when you and I decide to join Him in ministry, we help stop the pain from continuing on.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:8-10)

Keep in mind that no church is perfect, and there will be times Christians who genuinely love God accidentally step on one another's toes. This is different from an intentional slug, and so if it happens let's be real about it with the right people so reconciliation can happen. Doing life together is messy, but we connect with a God who unites and connects us.

God dreams for us to stop the real "pain" from continuing - the kind that allows people far from Him to continue on without Him. Did you know the Church is His "plan A" to care for the hurt, stop those who are harming others on purpose, rally others to help, and prevent the unnecessary pain from happening any further?

That's why I think it's worth spending time in the Bible, in prayer, and in key discussions together about how this all fleshes out. Something tells me that every Christian matters in what is about to happen over the next years of church history, and so if that means you I hope you're looking forward to what God will ask of you and I so that we can each do what He asks.

But... that probably doesn't include laying a smackdown on a mean kid.

Please let me know if that changes, though.

(Yes, apparently I'm still imperfect and messy)

a timely declaration

I will share the details of this single sentence in about a month. In the meantime, here it is:

"I'm just not going to do that anymore."

amen

I don't normally listen to Kid Rock, but he was on Conan O'Brian recently and so I let him do his thing in the background while I typed on the computer. Somewhere in the middle of his tune "Amen," his lyrics caught my attention... here's a classic example of someone scratching the surface of the general revelation God has left for us all to bump into.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. (Romans 1:20)

Please pardon his swearing, cynicism about pastors, and so on. Because if you do, there's a redemptive hope you just might discover toward the end.

"Amen" by Kid Rock

It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death

And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath

C'mon now amen, amen, amen

Habitual offenders, scumbag lawyers with agendas
I'll tell you sometimes people I don't know what's worse
Natural disasters or these wolves in sheep clothes pastors
Now --- -amn it I'm scared to send my children to church
And how can we seek salvation when our nations race relations
Got me feeling guilty of being white
But faith in human nature, our Creator and our Savior, I'm no saint
But I believe in what is right

C'mon now amen, amen
I said amen, amen

Stop pointing fingers and take some blame,
Pull your future away from the flame
Open up your mind and start to live
Stop short changing your neighbors
Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe
Give a little bit more than you got to give

Simplify, testify,
identify, rectify
And if I get high stop being so uptight
It's only human nature and I am not a stranger
So baby won't you stay with me tonight

When a calls away
to break the sound
I'm faden down, I need someone
Oh to be someone
They just sinken down, and holden back
I hold the dawn and run
They don't save a child
Oh, to save a child

It's a matter of salvation from them patience up above,
So don't give up so -amn easy on the one you love, one you love
Somewhere you got a brother, sister, friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you

You know there's someone out there who unconditionally, religiously, loves you
So just hold on 'cause you know it's true
And if you can take the pain
And you can withstand anything, and one day
Stand hand in hand with the truth

I said amen, I said amen
I said amen, I said amen,

Amen

nwyc: atlanta - day two, part 1

It was the wee hours of the morning today...

I had left my comrades in our presidential suite room and headed down to the mezzanine (what a fancy word) to try to get my computer to work better. Rather, I was trying to get the internet connection to work better. I had ten minutes worth of stuff to do that ended up taking me two hours.

The good news, though, is that God apparently had some plans for me.

As I sat there, by myself at around 1:30am, another gentleman sat down. "Every time you think you're all alone someone comes to spoil it, eh?" he said with a smile.

"Oh, that's fine, man... no problem."

He settled into his space and began chowing down on some late night food. After a bit he asked, "So where you from?"

Ah... I realized this was a God window. I shut my laptop... dang it... really needed to send that email.

"I'm from Ohio these days... I grew up in the Chicago area, though. How about you? Are you traveling through?"

"I am actually headed to Florida," he said. "I'm from the Milwaukee area originally."

And so we chatted... he asked what I did... I told him... then he started talking about God... I listened... and then I talked about my story... he listened... and God's Story... he listened.

Somehow we got to a place where he felt comfortable to share something with me. Something that he's never told anyone. Something that deals with his sexuality preferences.

Wow. Wasn't expecting that one, God.

Somehow, though, this wasn't a conversation about "that." Rather, it was a conversation about the journey he was on with God. Again, not because I was talking shop but because he would say things like, "I wish I could be delivered from this... I want to be, I really do."

Wow. Wasn't expecting that one, God, either.

And so we talked... and I shared a few thoughts from the Bible (which I happened to have with me). We read through Genesis 1 and 2 together, for this is how God made us originally to be. Anything from chapter three on is all but a distorted picture of that, whether it's heterosexual or homosexual. Sure, we could argue one is more distorted than the other, but I find that while its easy to point out homosexual sin we often tend to excuse the heterosexual lusts many know all to well as "natural."

Anyway, this isn't a post about "that." It's a post about a conversation, because here's the kicker...

somehow in my sleep-deprived state (having just come off of ten hours of travel, with only three hours of sleep the night before, and three the night before that)...

he saw something.

Or rather, Someone.

"Can I just tell you something?" he began. "You have this... I don't know how to even describe it... it's like you have a beautiful spirit about you. I mean, I've never talked to anyone about this before and I feel like I can talk with you even though it's an awkward topic. You're such a beautiful person inside and I can't even tell you why. Does that make sense?"

Wow. Wasn't expecting that, God.

At the end of the conversation, he wanted another one. In fact, he'd like to take me out to eat with he and his "friend." I told him, "Sure, but just so we're clear, God does have a plan for your relational life and that's where I'm coming from. That doesn't mean He doesn't love you if you fall short in that, so if we get together again are you cool with me staying in that place?"

"Absolutely," he said.

So we'll see.

Oh, and I think I swung another three hours of sleep... somehow getting through the day.

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:5-6)

awe-some

So first, last week I was "in awe of God..."

then over the weekend, I found myself "still in awe of God..."

As of tonight?

Tonight I realized He's even bigger than I thought, and so now I am "picking my jaw up off the floor because I am beyond being in awe of God but am notably even more aware how small I am in the glimpse of how large He continues to be and yet stoops down to leave breadcrumb trails for me to follow into something absolutely amazing and already these words are falling short so I should just stop now and hopefully say nothing more to ruin the purity of this moment."

And that's all I have to say about that.

a bro by any other name...

Back in the day when Al Gore was busy inventing the internet, a little company came along and decided to dominate the computer industry. This company eventually formed a branch called "Hotmail," and since I was giving up my school email account at the time (which had about four or five ending extensions to it), I decided to apply for an email account.

Call me crazy, but I thought I'd just try my name to see if it was available. Sure enough, it was... tonymyles@hotmail.com.

I didn't have to go with tonymylesiscool@hotmail.com, or even something more descriptive like junkboy45@hotmail.com, Thankfully, the name was available and so I've had it for many, many years. Even when I went through my "pastor" stage (when I wanted everyone to call me "pastor" because I was insecure... another story for another time) and used pastor_t@yahoo.com (because pastortony@yahoo.com was already taken) I kept my hotmail account, safely tucked away in the corner.

Then...

about a year ago I started getting odd emails for "Tony Myles" at my hotmail account. Keep in mind, this is when I was interviewing with many churches and often would get emails out of the blue because someone knew someone who knew me (and had passed by my resume on), so I didn't always know who was contacting me.

At first glance, it looked legit - it was addressed to "Tony Myles" and referred to ministry sorts of things... dead giveaway sort of church words like "fellowship" and "stewardship" and all the other "ships." The only catch was that I felt like I was jumping into a conversation I should have known something about but didn't have any clue of. I'd read things like, "That was a great gathering of pastors and we're looking forward to seeing you again," only I couldn't recognize any of the emails that were involved as senders or other receivers on that list.

Not even junkboy45@hotmail.com made the cut.

So at first I did what any of you would do... I just read the emails. I figured if a part of my brain had shut down and needed to remember something it would. And if for some reason I was right and didn't know any of these people at all, I'd wondered if there was in fact another Tony Myles out there... and if so, who this Tony Myles character would be like. A lot of the emails I received were from California, and so I guessed this was probably the case.

I mean, did he sound like a cool guy whom I'd want to hang out with? Or might he be my nemesis... my Lex Luthor... my Sam I Am... my junkboy45@hotmail.com?

Some time went by, and soon I started to get an ever greater itch about all of this. So I decided to Google the name "Tony Myles." You know where this is going, right?

I started finding all sorts of things out there in the internet world from me that I'd forgotten even existed. Then on top of that, there were the many comments I'd made on other people's blogs that somehow tracked back my way. Then there were articles I'd written, places I'd spoken for, ideas I'd submitted to magazines, and so on. The biggest surprise, though, came when I found people who either talked about all of that or my blog in a good way... and then those who talked about all of that in a critical way.

Then I started to wonder... maybe I was the Lex Luthor to the"other" Tony Myles... his Sam I Am... his junkboy45@hotmail.com

Maybe every article I've ever written he's had to tell someone, "Yeah, um... I didn't write that, nor do I believe in that." Or perhaps when he's gone to speak somewhere he's gotten to the microphone and had to start by saying, "Hi, I'm Tony Myles... but not the "Don't Call Me Veronica" Tony Myles - in fact, I like the name Veronica and it's been my nickname since fourth grade summer camp." I wonder if he's ever gone to visit a blog I've been critiqued on and had to pick an alternate login name out of embarassment... like junkboy45@hotmail.com.

Maybe this guy is trying to make it professionally in ministry and keeps bumping into this crazy blogger/writer/pastor/speaker dude who unconsciously shares his name, unwillingly steals his emails, and unintentionally is making his life hard.

You know... kind of like how many of us call ourselves Christians and make life harder for Jesus Christ?

Ah...

Sometimes we introduce ourselves to people as "Christians" or "little Christs" - but really we're acting a bit more like junkboy45@hotmail.com - and the world gets confused.

Then there is this great little slice of the Bible where the early Christians were building bridges with the non-Jews... for one of the first-times ever (collectively, that is). The bridge-building was so powerfully noted that a bunch of people started calling them "little Christs" - or "Christians."

Now those who had been scattered by the persecution in connection with Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, telling the message only to Jews. Some of them, however, men from Cyprus and Cyrene, went to Antioch and began to speak to Greeks also, telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus. The Lord's hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord... The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch. (Acts 11:19-21, 26b)

Did you catch that?

The early church folk were first called "Christians" when they reached out to those outside their little theological circle... where everything was safe and could be gauged. Instead of drawing a line in the sand and putting down "those people over there," they built a bridge.

So this week I got yet another round of emails for Tony Myles. This time they're coming from Knoxville, Tennessee... apparently Mr Myles is on the move. Must have seen The Fugitive.

I sent out a reply-all email that said, "Hi there... I keep getting emails for a guy named Tony Myles. My name *is* Tony Myles and I am a pastor (www.connectionchurch.org) and writer - but perhaps not the one you're thinking of."

I heard back from a Mr. Vernon H. Guthrie today who said, "I appologize. Yes there is another pastor Tony Myles."

My reply? "And perhaps one day he and I will meet... and the world will sing again."

I'm such a dork sometimes.

things i don't do well remixed

Just wanted to share the good news of my first published editorial (meaning, I wrote this from my brain instead of regular freelancing)... and you guys got to read it first! What I'm most excited about is that the name of Jesus Christ was clearly proclaimed in this local newspaper format.

one of my favs

One of my favorite places in town is the Waffle House... that is, when I'm in the mood for a very cool breakfast served with attitude.

Since 1955, the WAFFLE HOUSE system has served over:

• 495,264,367 Waffles



• 957,041,599 Cups of Coffee



• 1,173,838,328 Hashbrown Orders



• 370,545,935 Sausage Patties



• 786,449,152 Bacon Strips



• 14,899,594 Slices of Ham



• 1,527,602,959.24 Eggs



• 22,217,455 Slices of Pie



• 123,587,123 T-bone Steaks



• 115,220,427 Hamburger Quarters



• 479,312,699 Glasses of Coke



• 1,108,574,633 Order of Grits



• 72,567,509 Cheese n’ Eggs



• 204,164,660 Omelets

One of the big reasons I enjoy the Waffle House is because of where it is located. You'd might think it's because it's located near my house, but it isn't. In all disclosure, I'd probably be in griddle trouble if it was anywhere near my home. I swear, they must put something illegally addictive in their stuff.

Actually, the reason I enjoy the Waffle House is because it's located near the main highways a number of people in our church either live or travel to and from their jobs. When you throw into the mix that the Waffle House is open 24 hours, it means that I can meet with anyone who has to get up early for work. Since the people I serve all keep different hours, this makes for a fun meeting spot.

Location, location, location.... this is why I like the Waffle House (although you can't beat a place with a jukebox that has songs about grits and hashbrowns).

I've been thinking a lot about this lately because accessibility is one of those necessary evils in our culture. While we would need a level of privacy, we recognize the benefit of having people get in touch with us through healthy channels. This is why if you carry a cell phone and regularly use it there is a part of you that feels naked when you suddenly don't have it with you. Or how if you're used to having access to a person all the time and suddenly they move away you wonder if your friendship will ever be the same again. And so on.

This is why anything we can do build bridges in our relationships and culture is so important. There's the power of making the first phone call to someone you haven't spoken with in a while... or being willing to take ownership of your end of the argument whether or not the other person will... or seeing someone in need and showing up into their world with assistance before they have to ask.

I'm still trying to sort this all out so I can regularly practice it, but I'm thankful for the example Jesus made on our behalf.

He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.(2 Corinthians 5:15-21, NLT)

So yeah... believe it or not, that's why I like the Waffle House. Through it I get to know the stories behind the faces I see all the time, and then I bring home a pecan waffle for my bride to enjoy.

Because when we build bridges... the Bride gets blessed.

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. (Revelation 21:2)

a redemptively offensive post about love

"I think that's just about the best shirt I've ever seen."

This was said to me today as my family and I spent a little bit of time in a mall. We were on the road today back to West Michigan (about a 6.5 hour trip from Northeast Ohio) and needed to stretch our legs a few times. One of our favorite malls in the area has a rockin' play place in the shape of a giant tree, so we definitely needed to stop, walk around, and get a smoothie.

Back to the t-shirt comment.

My wife and I had on today some shirts that I made up for a marriage weekend we did with our church a little over a week ago. Perhaps you're familiar with the statistic that around half of marriages in American end in divorce. Certain areas of the country differ on that issue... and to my deep sadness I found out this past week from another local pastor that the town we live in averages around a 75% divorce rate. That means that 3 out of 4 marriages in my new hometown get forgetful, lost, and broken.

That is simply unacceptable.

Which is one of the reasons I'm thankful we came up with the proactive concept a couple of months ago for a "Fresh Start" marriage weekend. We organized a fun, interactive date night on a Friday, and then a Saturday 9am-3pm deal together going through a Gary Chapman teaching series via DVD. The turnout was great and lots of cool stories were swapped and shared among those present. Overall, I think we may have all received what was intended for the weekend... a fresh start with God and each other.

Which brings me back to the t-shirts.

I didn't want us to just have a fun marriage event and then forget all that we uncovered. So I made up some "hokey" t-shirts for us to wear... "hokey" because that what some might say when they see them, but "hokey" (in quotes) because the idea isn't really hokey after all - it's rather redemptive, actually.

"I love my wife."
"I love my husband."

Yes - these are the shirts. Designed 'em myself... between this and my "don't call me veronica" design I think I'm on to something.

Isn't it funny how wearing a shirt like this could feel embarrassing in our culture? We fear comments like, "Nice shirt, Brad. What, did your wife make you wear that?" What an amazing opportunity in that moment to say, "Actually, no... I love my wife."

My wife and I have been able to wear ours at the same time a couple of times... and every time I'm in a crowd of people I catch them start to read the shirt with wide-eyed interest, as if this is the most foreign concept they've ever seen. Why is that?

If you're married, would you wear one?

Or maybe a better question is "If you're married, why wouldn't you wear one?"

And might the answer to either of those questions have something to say about the current divorce statistic and the future divorce statistic?

For the record, no marriage is perfect and shouldn't ever expect to be. A couple can be in a great season of life and then suddenly things go sour because of something that happens, be it within a conscious set of actions or something that uncontrollably happens (i.e. medical depression, a hard loss, etc.) We've been in both the upside and downside of life over the years, too, so I know the depths of darkness that some of us may have to labor through.

Yet with the great gift of love that Jesus has modeled and given to us, not to mention His very presence and power available to our lives, shouldn't marriages be a bit different than how they usually play out?

• In the world of retail, most shirts like this say things like "I'm a playa - U next" or "Voted most likely to cheat" - and my personal favorite, "If I drink too much feel free to take me home and have you way with me" (okay - maybe that last one isn't the actual text, but you've seen the shirts and know what they say). What if we decided such concepts wouldn't get our money, even if the phrase seemed initially funny?
  


• In public circles of conversation, we seem to drift toward phrases like, "The old ball and chain" or thoughts like, "She's impossible when she gets like that." What if we took seriously the idea that relationships are a bit more sacred than that?
  
  
• In private times of confession and construction, we often judge the other based on his/her imperfect actions while we want to be judged by our perfect intentions. Might there be an alternative way of seeing how the inner workings of a marriage might happen if we

By the way, I know I'm an absolute hypocrite in all of this in that I will never be completely in step with each of these goals.

But that's no excuse not to be fully committed to the dream, though, is it?

• I won't just "try" to do this... I will "train" to do this.
  
  
• I won't give up if I encounter an "impossible" roadblock... I remember that with God all things are possible - including whatever is needed to get through the roadblock - because when Jesus said "all things" were possible there wasn't an asterisk next to the word "all" that said, "except for marriages that struggle."
  
  
• I am fully-committed to my wife for the long haul, irregardless of her commitment to me. I will woo her and pursue her, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, forsaking all others - even if she never does the same.

Yes, I am making some bold statements because as a Christ-follower I need to follow Christ. That means whatever I see Him doing I need to invite Him to do in and through my life, too. If He has pursued us with a relentless love and redemptive passion to overcome every obstacle, then maybe I need to do that, too. I don't expect it to be easy, but I do expect it to be right.

Which maybe is why we got stared at a lot today for wearing some "hokey" shirts that ooze cheesy love all over the place about how I love my wife and am fully committed to her. Maybe it is a bit offensive to wear such a thing... that's fine by me. I'm tired of just playing the defense when it comes to marriage in our world. We need to be offensive, too... that's the best way for your team starts scoring points and inspires the other players to give it their best.

• One of the other women who stopped me today said, "I've been married for 40 years... I just love your shirt and want you to know marriage can be a really great thing even after 40 years."
  
  
• Last week a guy and his wife saw my wife at a restaurant wearing her shirt. He told his wife, "You should get one of those to wear."
  
  
• I also enjoyed the email someone in our church sent me just before the weekend:
  
  "I'm so glad that we are involved in a marriage refresher. Even though I'm divorced, I now realize the importance of marriage to God and have been praying intensely for the marriages in our church. Someone gave me a neat "word from God" about being single that I will share with others too. Still don't know where it came from except that God wanted me to have it!!!"

As a final disclaimer, maybe you read this and find yourself saying, "Amen!" Or perhaps you read this and are in the midst or wake of a broken marriage and this felt like salt on an open wound. In either case, I hope you don't just take this post as something to agree with or disagree with me on. My parents divorced during my teenage years and so I know a bit about what it means to watch something eclipse the dreams you once held on to... our best plans are often interrupted by the ripples of a fallen world and during those times it becomes hard to see past the wave about to crash over you.

Divorce hurts because it is the ripping of a union that has made two people one flesh - any kind of severing is going to cause blood to spill and parts of you to get lost. This is one reason why God is against it.

If anything, I hope this takes you back to the drawing board of the Scriptures and the pathway of marriage God designed... not to mention the joy and insight it is meant to offer us in our relationship with Him. Instead of just commenting on this, would you first spend that little extra time in the Bible (I even provided some clickable links for you below)? See if you find yourself agreeing or disagreeing with God on the matter... a God, who by the way, is good and fully-committed to you. That way if we do end up discussing any of this further via comments we've at least gathered around some perfect perspective on an imperfect topic:

• Genesis 1:26-29


• Genesis 2:18-25


• Genesis 3:14-19


• 1 Corinthians 7


• Ephesians 5:14-6:4


• Colossians 3:21


• 1 Peter 3:1-6

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage. (Ephesians 5:25-28, MSG)