the sweetest days (every day)

Back in the day, I used to drive hours and hours to see my girlfriend who was at college. Our time was limited, as I stayed with some buddies in a campus apartment and she was in a dorm with a curfew. Once, though, I tried to maximize our Saturday which happened to fall on Sweetest Day by ordering a pizza.

I know... may not sound too romantic. Except I'd prearranged the pepperoni to appear in the shape of a heart.

Yep... classy romance on a budget.

Today that same girlfriend - now my bride - surprised me with a pizza night. And as you may imagine, the trend continues.

I'm not one to fall for Hallmark holidays, but I am one for enjoying, savoring and investing into the things that really matter. Right after God, my wife is next.

Happy Sweetest Day, babe... a.k.a. "every day."

Jason Mraz - Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillat) (Saturday Night Live) (live) (2009)

another perspective on divorce

I share this as a child of a divorce, and also as someone doing his best everyday to add to his spouse, marriage, and household.

Please...

don't look at divorce as an option.

I know it has happened to many who may read this.

But if it hasn't, and you're married, I ask you to be as committed to your spouse as you would to your flesh and blood kids. We often elevate them to a special kind of love where even if they get on our nerves all the time "we're not going anywhere" and are committed to work it out.

So please... commit that kind of love to your spouse, right now.

If you need a reason, I invite you to walk through this transparent offering...

which is "another perspective on divorce."

Click on the picture below.


http://postcardsfromsplitsville.com/index.html

ten things a husband needs

I found this online and thought the bullet points could be used for reflection and conversation.

http://todayschristianwomanstore.com/top10thyohur.html


OVERVIEW
Husbands have specific needs, but what exactly are they? We’ve boiled them down to a top ten list to encourage you to be become a more understanding wife and move forward in your relationship together.

Introduction: Giving Him What He Wants
It’s not as simple as it seems.

Tip One: To show you he’s strong and capable
Beneath the surface, men wonder if they have what it takes. When men compete, they’re often captured by the challenge to prove themselves.

Tip Two: To Dream With You
Is there something your husband always longed to do when you were first married, but he’s stopped mentioning it now that you’re busy with daily life?

Tip Three: To Share His Interests With You
It’s easy for the pressures of life to crowd out the fun. Take the things your spouse likes to do and find ways to make them enjoyable for both of you.

Tip Four: To Love You As Best He Can
Many women compare their friendships with men's. Watch men interact with each other before you conclude they avoid close relationships.

Tip Five: To Be Respected And Admired
Men desire to be respected and admired from the women they love. Become an expert on your spouse and learn to praise his strengths.

Tip Six: To Communicate And Be Close To You
Most men want intimacy with their wives—and not just sexually. Men want to understand your rules but are confused when they seem unclear.

Tip Seven: To Find Purpose And Significance
God created us with a deep desire for meaning and significance. Learn how to encourage your husband.

Tip Eight: To Hear Your Gratitude
Many women hold back sincere affirmations. Know that your positive words will pave the way for your husband to do the same.

Tip Nine: To Know You’re On His Side
You and your husband are a lifelong team. When your husband has a problem, it’s your problem, too. A husband longs to know he’s not alone.

Tip Ten: To Have Sex…And Plenty Of It!
Physical intimacy can be a barometer for your relationship. Your husband may see your physical intimacy as a signal that he’s doing fine at home.

13 ways to invest into your marriage

Someone I've enjoyed connecting with online in recent years is Jim Martin, and today he posted a great list on his blog I hope all married folks will take a moment to read.

Jim writes:

There is a business in our area which which probably won't be around very long. It started well. The owner invested a great deal of money into the building and its facilities. He seemed to spare no expense in what he purchased in order to begin this business. However, once he made the initial investment, he apparently put very little time or energy into maintenance or staffing. There is regular staff turnover. One frequently sees signs on various pieces of equipment, indicating that the equipment is not working. In some instances, these signs remain for months. This business seems to suffer from neglect.

Marriages are often like this. Some will make a tremendous initial investment but then neglect the relationship over time.

I want to suggest 13 ways to invest in the life, health, and vitality of your marriage.

Read more here: http://godhungry.org/?p=2918

a quick thought on marriage

I recently shared this with someone, but I want to post it here, too. It's important, especially in light of the many tensions many marriages face (and why many people assume it's just not worth it anymore).

To only see marriage for its flaws and not for its intended beauty is to look at the sky at night and only see the black parts, never being awed by the beauty of something created to shine brilliantly.

From someone who is passionately in love with his bride after 15 years, trust me... the stars can shine as they were made to. But it does require more than our own strength.

Through God, a man and a woman can become one flesh. They can get close to this without Him, only with Him can the eternal love feed into and boost up the everyday love.

Psychologists have proven that people don't know how to love when they're born... so it's not a feeling, but a learned choice. That means our capacity and ability to love is determined by our exposure to it. So if you want a marriage that lasts for the long haul, you have to be tapped into LOVE beyond the two of you - the utlimate source being God Himself.

The Creator of the stars? He intended them to shine.

Don't be afraid to put the cans on the back of your car...

or to put them back on again.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)

rant: who's right about rights?

I don't often get into arguments about "This country was founded on _____, so ______" with people. However, I posted this on a friend's blog regarding whether or not government should impose morality on people, especially in light of issues regarding the gay community, marriage, and everything else that combination stirs up.

----------------

Unfortunately, any time you have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, you run into the problem of who is the loudest voice. Our heritage has paved the way for marriage to be defined heterosexually, which in many cases stems out of a Judeo-Christian belief. So it isn't a reach to say that morality is a part of government since the people who started the government had a sense of morality to do so.

There was that whole, "What England is doing to us isn't right, so let's have a revolution." This is steeped in morality, is it not?

Since that whole thing is "worked out," why should we be surprised or objectionable when morality continues to be a factor in how we live and govern? Granted, the sinfulness of man keeps creating a snowball of obliviousness to our own blind spots and rationalizations, so why shouldn't we grab back onto the very values that started this country to begin with? Again, values in many cases have their roots in a Judeo-Christian belief?

As a Christian, I have no issue with realizing that the sinfulness of man will always rationalize manufactured rights while only an unchanging God gets to call the shots on what does and doesn't qualify. It's our understanding of God that changes, and sometimes that change isn't always for the better... other times it is.

I wonder which one this is.

Thanks for the dialogue.

----------------

As a side note, may we never presume that heterosexual sin isn't as powerfully rippling as homosexual sin. The Good News is that the love and direction of God is more powerful than us all, lest we be stuck in a place that our own weakness couldn't get us out of.

a sure sign of a good marriage

From our good friends at 911 Emergency.

14 inside jokes

Today my lovely bride and I have the opportunity to celebrate 14 years of marriage together. I am so undeserving, and so blessed to do life with her. In fact. it struck me how fourteen years is a good chunk of time for a lot of inside jokes.

So while you may be reading this with the hope of drawing something out of it, I'd like to present to you 14 inside jokes between my wife and I that you won't understand. Sure, you may be able to figure some of them out... but if you can get all 14 right I will send you $14 dollars.

Here's we go:

• "Heh... forever, babe."



• "You're my Pastrami!" "You're my Swiss Cheese!"



• "My wife, Ardelia, made these stained glass olive wood key chains."



• "Yeah, Tony? Katie? A man is coming over later. So keep an eye out for the man."



• "I really like my job. It's good to stand on my own." "Be careful, because that could hurt her."



• "Cray-zeeee-dri-ver!'"



• "On ice?"



• "You broke the noodle!"



• "How can we make that more 'edgy?' Like 'edgy, edgy?'"



• "Did you know I grew up in Mexico? Come on, now. Circle the word 'the.'"



• "It's five cents cheaper in Allegan."



• "I so do not miss the boob light." (DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I wrote that. But it's nothing at all what you're thinking. Shame on you. Go have a quiet time.)



• "Thanks for watching."



• "You... you are Marchichelli!"

Have fun with those. In the meantime, my lady and I will be out making more laughter together.

I'd love for you to pray for future together... for our relationship with one another, protection from temptation, a fullness of life, significant ministry with one another, parenting of our boys, and side splitting fun with one another (the kind that the world doesn't always get but always seems to lean in to try to understand).

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:22)

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery. (Ephesians 5:31-32a)

love and marriage

I was talking with someone about an article I wrote for the newspaper recently and realized I didn't ever put up a link here to it. If you're married, I hope this speaks to you.

http://wp2.medina-gazette.com/2008/02/25/accent/religion/creative-dating/