strumming along

We all face the "bummer" side of life and people.

Today I realized that someone stole my guitar.

Keep in mind, I'm not a traveling musician - rather, this is more of a personal item that I've used over the years to write songs on or play in our church's worship band. It's given me something to tinker on around a campfire. Quite a few "silly songs" were belted out on it. Someone famous (I won't name drop) once used it when I loaned it to him on the fly. I've pulled it out on my kids' birthdays to sing the individual songs I composed for each of them as a biblical "blessing" when they were born.

 

 

A couple weeks ago, someone busted into our church building when no one was around. We had to replace the handle, but other than that we assumed that nothing was missing. It turns out that the one item that was taken was my guitar. I've from time to time kept it at the church building in case someone needed to borrow it or if I felt led to share something on it. This weekend I realized I hadn't seen it and discerned that this is likely what happened after the break-in.

So why am I sharing this?

Not sure. I know that social media is a place where we sometimes say things out loud that we'd otherwise say under our breath. It's where we might offer others a glimpse into our greatest joys or our greatest hurts. Sometimes it gets ugly, whether we're ranting about politics or pretending we're mob bosses who put a "hit" out on a local business or school official who wronged us, saying, "They bothered me. Now I declare a verbal war on them so that everyone knows what horrible people they are!"

I thought maybe I'd walk you through the ugly moments and beautiful moments of how all of this has played out inside of me. This morning I realized that my guitar had been stolen... and the awareness came to me just moments before I needed to engage as a pastor today and preach a message on my heart. But now I had a sliver of something else floating around inside of me - a frustration, perhaps, toward the mysterious person who took something that symbolizes so much to me. An item I'd hoped to pass down to my kids ones day or perhaps sing a song on to my future grand-kids. Who knows?

And yet... I don't know... something else was popping around inside of me, too. It was a beyond-me compassion and grace for this individual. I didn't have a reason for it, nor did I feel a religious guilt about *having* to forgive. Rather, I felt I'd already forgiven this person. I started to imagine that maybe someone homeless busted into our building and took the only thing he or she could carry on foot. And then I imagined that maybe my guitar for them will be something they sit down and use on the street as a way to beg for money for food. ("Or beer, probably" the cynic in me tried to argue. "Or food, too," the other Voice offered.)

Yeah, I was having a conversation. This might be hard to understand, but sometimes I have these chats with the Lord without realizing I'm having them. It's like I "discover" He's been telling me something before I understood the dialogue. In any event, I'm posting this because I was grateful for all the times I've spent with God before this moment because it prepared me for it. Rather than giving into my human bent to be angry, I was at rest in the Holy Spirit. I found myself strangely comforted by how "not disturbed" I was.

What a gift. What a Giver.

Perhaps someone will wrong you this week (or already has). Maybe another flawed human being (just like you) will let you down or make you feel betrayed.

We all face the "bummer" side of life and people.

But what if we could also all face the "Jesus" side of life and people?

Perhaps whomever wrongs you next doesn't have to receive the worst of you as you respond to the "worst" in them (note the quotes - it may not be as bad as you think). What if the time you spend with Jesus today will prepare you for that moment as it happens? This is why I love being a regular part of a church... it gives me a rhythm of gathering every week with other ragtag people who agree that God is much smarter than we are and maybe we can get through life better with Him and His wisdom. It's why I dig into His words each day and try to put Him first in all things. And when I get it wrong, I circle back and reset to get it right.

I don't know... maybe this is just me sharing out loud how I'm a real guy on a real journey with a real God.

Or maybe this is an invitation for you to get in on that journey, too. What do you say?

the problem and the purpose of evil

I had one of "those dreams" last night.

It was the kind where the presence of evil is somehow present in the dream in a way that "petrifies" you in your dream... and I mean that literally - where you feel frozen up and powerless in the dream for a moment, if not more.

Over the years, my conscious mind has somehow learned to force its way into these unconscious moments. I find myself in my dream sputtering out the name of Jesus - even though it sometimes comes out "J-J-J-J-Jeeeesus."

Perhaps none of that matters, because it was only just a dream.

The thing is when I woke up I realized that with it being Good Friday how little I've considered the problem and purpose of evil in relationship to Jesus being on the Cross. I've certainly recognized His sacrifice this year, but I haven't considered with any weight how much God's adversary was involved in that day.

Theologically, I know all this. 

Personally, I've overlooked it.

That's when I recalled the eyebrow-less representation of Satan as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ... the ending of this scene still gives me encouragement.

There is a problem with evil in our world... even though it can also serve a purpose. The same is true of pain and wounds.

In Eden, God poured out His love by pouring life into humanity.

On the Cross, God poured out His love by pouring out His life.

God made Adam's wife Eve from a wound in his side. 

The Church ("Bride of Christ") was made from
a wound in the side of the second Adam, Jesus.

The same is true of the Cross:

It proclaims God will let
one thing die to bring Life into everything. 

When God seems to be killing us, 
He's actually saving us. 

This is the problem and the purpose of evil.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)

"...and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

"Jesus said, 'It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." (John 19:30)

P.S. If you're local to me, join us at Connection Church at walking through this tonight:  http://www.connectionchurch.org/easter

perhaps addressing temptation is just this easy

Just before bed, Daniel (my seven-year old) walked over and handed me some soft discs for a gun that flings them across the room. He was about to address his responsibilities - pajamas, toothbrushing, and so on.

He asked, "Dad? Will you hold these so I wont be distracted by them?"

"Oh, sure," I said, realizing that's what a good dad does.

Only... I felt like I'd been smacked with a shovel.

I mean, why don't I do this more often with my Father?

No, seriously.

Ever notice how often we talk about how hard it is to not be distracted by the emotions and temptations in our life? Things that have greater appeal than what we're responsible for?

Perhaps addressing temptation is just this easy.

No, seriously.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions - pt 5

Please tell me you saw this - a Haitian teen was found alive in the rubble of her home 15 days after the quake.

That's just over two days of darkness.  Can you imagine how horrible that would be?  Nothing but being stuck without relief for days on end.

And then suddenly... light, and people, and care, and nourishment.  Your entire world changes in the blink of an eye.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. (Revelation 21:1-3)

I was watching video footage from a pastor the other day in Haiti, and he shared how just moments before a boy was shot on the streets.  Not even an hour before the pastor had bought all the boy's ice cream - 200+ bars - and given them away to local kids.  The boy went away and then came back with more, but was shot on the street and left dead while people walked around.  Then the camera panned over and showed the scene... a boy in the street, with blood around him.

I didn't know how to respond.

My 8-year-old son did, though.  Granted, I didn't show him the footage I saw that afternoon... but later that night we got on the topic of how hard things have gotten for the community of Haiti as they're trying to survive.  I said, "One of the reasons we only drank water last week was to remind us of what is happening over there and that we're responsible to love our neighbor... to think of a way to take care of those who are hurting."  He asked a bit about that, and assumed all would be fine since "We've sent help over."

I said, "Well, that is good, but it's not enough to only help one time.  For example, today I learned about a boy who had been shot on the street because someone wanted the ice cream he had."

My son began to cry... really, really, cry.  I didn't expect that, but it was absolutely appropriate.  He asked through his tears, "Is he alright?"

I knew my answer was about to change him.  "Actually, no. He... well, he ended up dying."  My son's tears began to pour out, and my wife and I tried to comfort him without losing the sobriety of this learning curve.  "Joshua, you're absolutely right for crying over that," I said, moving closer.  "There's a reason why you feel that way, and it's because God feels the same way about tragedy like this."

Did you know that?

In the second to last chapter of the Bible, we read this description of what the end of things as they currently are will be like before they begin to become something entirely better:

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."” (Revelation 21:4)

The things that cause us suffering now - death, pain, mourning - will one day...

be gone.

On what basis is this claim made? 

The resurrection of Jesus Christ Himself from the dead.

Out of all the things we call "evil" in the world - poverty, war, abuse, relational pain, disease, and ultimately death itself - only one of them is unique... death is the only one that can never be avoided.

• Some are born into poverty, but they can be brought out of it.
• Wars occur when one force attempts to overtake another, but they can be ended.
• Abuses happen when one individual belittles the value of another, but they can be halted.
• Relational pain takes place when one life creates wounds to another life in proximity to it, but they can be held off and reconciled.
• Disease will often ravage a person or a people group, but they can be fought with medicine and hygiene.
  

But death... death is unavoidable, so while it in itself may seem neutral, it remains the strongest expression of evil that there is. Nothing and no one has ever ultimately defeated it - that is, except Jesus.

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." (Revelation 21:5)

When a rescue happens in Haiti, people cheer... for we have taken part in the miracle of "defeating death."  Truly, though, only Jesus has done this completely in that as God He not only suffered and died on our behalf, He also came to life again and defeated death itself. Which means if He can defeat the strongest of evils, then He can defeat all the rest.

Why does He not do so sooner?  Or in a way that minimizes suffering?  Or as we would do it if we had His power? The Bible doesn’t say.

Doesn't that suck sometimes?

So since we don't know the answer to this, does this mean there isn't one?

Philosopher William Alston gets at it this way:

Suppose that some of the very best scientists in the world come up with a new theory about quantum physics. Suppose I, as a non-physicist, look at their theory and say, “Because I cannot figure it out, they must be wrong.” It’s possible they might be wrong, but I have no real basis for knowing.

Alston’s point is simply that we are not in a position to assume that if an infinite God has reasons for allowing evil, then we as finite and fallible beings should be able to figure them out. And because we cannot assume this, any argument which does—such as the approach identified above—has not proved anything at all.

What we are certain about, though, is an end of the story that is not rooted in wishful thinking.  Rather, it is rooted in a cosmic battle that has already taken place, a battle in which Jesus has defeated the worst of all evils... death itself.  He not only comforts us in our present suffering, but who will one day come again and defeat suffering in all its forms. How amazing is that?

This - and nothing less - is the assurance that belongs to those who embrace His embrace, making Jesus their Lord and Savior.

So I'll end all of this discussion on another tragedy of sorts... one that involved the family of singer Steven Curtis Chapman.  They've been in the news over the past couple of years specifically regarding the tragic loss of their 5-year-old daughter Maria, their youngest adopted daughter, who had been accidentally struck in the family's driveway by one of her brothers returning home in his truck.

Chapmans new album, entitled "Beauty Will Rise," became his personal testament to Maria's life and the overwhelming assurance that they will be together again one day.  It must be nothing short of a miracle to attempt to find and somehow discover redemptive words for such pain. I ache for his ache... and am humbly silent at his praise. 

Life... 

found underneath the rubble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JTwJ_1lzE

He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. (Revelation 21:7-8)

haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions - pt 4

If you were to give God a grade for how He's doing these days, what grade would you give Him?

Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."

When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.  (John 11:1-6)

Dangerous question, right?  We can answer it so emotionally, one way or the other.

Most people opt for a "Pass/Fail" system.  Either He's doing the job we all expect of Him, or He isn't.  Others might grade on the typical "A, B, C, D, F" system.  Someone clever might even throw in the "E" to indicate they feel He's turned in incomplete work.

Or at least, we think He has.

So Jesus then said to them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, so that you may believe; but let us go to him."(John 11:14-15)

We need blind sass to even consider such things, don't we?  For it's our bent to look at a question like this through our own sense of history alone.  We say, "I'd give God an 'A' for sunsets and summers, but when someone I loved died for no reason whatsoever I decided He deserves nothing more than an 'F' in my book."

On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died." (John 11:17-21)

There is nothing a person can say in response to that kind of declaration.  At least, nothing adequate.  That person is making an emotional statement, and so they feel "right" in the tremendous loss they are experiencing... because a tremendous loss should create a tremendous reaction.

It's why Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus before He raised Him up from the grave.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked.
 

"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" (John 11:33-36)

Because death is tragic...

but it isn't the end of the Story.

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said.

"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:38-40)

Take a look at the account of Lazarus or the cross of Jesus and you will realize that suffering can have a purpose, even when it doesn't make sense.  The Lord isn't indifferent or detached from our condition.  Rather, a fuller view of things is not death but resurrection – not a cartoon heaven with harps and clouds but a true restoration of all the brokenness in this world and our hearts... all through a new relationship with God through Christ.

This isn't just some religious idea or something we chew on to feel better.  This means that literally every horrible thing that has ever happened will one day become a part of a greater perspective... like when you've been unemployed for a while and suddenly get a job, making you appreciate that blessing all the more.  In some way the experience of heaven will become even more joyful because of the way the pain and darkness has been finally outmatched by the healing and the Light that is Jesus.

This is the ultimate defeat of evil and suffering, and it can begin our hearts when we begin to unleash the truth of it in our lives.  Such a reference point for hope can offer perspective to the questions our hearts raise.  That's why the Bible says "by faith" we see ahead with our soul what our eyes haven't yet taken in.

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." (John 11:41-42)

Sometimes when you get down the road of a tragedy and you look back, you realize that something was accomplished in tragedy.  I say this with trembling and caution, though, for I'm not attempting to water down the very real pain that we experience when it happens.  The world is broken by sin, so there are all kinds of things that God did not originally design the world to contain. His blueprints did not have hunger, earthquakes, rape, disease, or human death. Even from the perspective of eternity, we will look back and realize that much of the suffering that's occurred in our lives and in the world could have been avoided by human decision.

But we are intended to look back from a new vantage point... one that doesn't give God a grade based on the moment but on the curve of His Story.

In other words, just because you can't think of a good reason why God hasn't stopped the pain in this world yet doesn't mean there cannot be any. First you have to acknowledge that the meaninglessness you feel in the face of suffering is part of the fact that we are not created for these things and now we are facing them. Then we have to acknowledge that our vantage point is not everything.

Which makes what God *has* done all the more powerful.

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!"The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." (John 11:43-44)

The Lord entered the suffering world as its Savior, living the best life possible and yet being punished in the worst way conceivable. The cross shows that He loves us, because if He didn't love us He wouldn't have gotten involved... He is not indifferent to us by any means. As Jesus, God has suffered, and we can rest assured that that He shares our pain and knows our sufferings. God put into motion a proactive chain of events through the cross and the raising of Jesus from the dead... a chain of events that points to our ultimate hope of final restoration when we are finally united with God for eternity.

Still want to give God an 'F' based on your vantage point?  Maybe you feel that's what He deserves.

I won't argue with your vantage point... because that is what it is and I'll give you the space to have it.

Perhaps tomorrow, though, your vantage point will increase.  That's why I've written this post... to remind you that the way you see life today should grow tomorrow... not shrink or merely stay the same.

And it's possible to place your faith today in what you will place your faith in tomorrow.

Tune in tomorrow for the final word.

haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions - pt 3

What was the last thing you tried to fix that was broken?  For me it was a broken door on our entertainment center, and before that it was a garbage disposal.

Yeah... that's right... I fixed the garbage disposal.  Take that, average 4th grader.

When something is broken and you're attempting to fix it, you need a point a reference.  Specifically, you have to envision or find a picture/blueprint of what the cracked or "out of order" thing once looked like.  Only with this reference point can you begin to see the flawed object as originally intended, giving context to that which is currently broken and how you need to go about restoring it.

That's one reason why the first two chapters of the Bible are such a gift - they remind us that humanity and this world didn't start out flawed, but rather were whole and interconnected.  There was a time when our relationship with God wasn't cloudy, our relationship with others wasn't strained, and our relationship with nature wasn't adversarial.

Oh, and another gift we were given?  Free will.

And we exercised that in the worst way possible.

I mention this because the reason we all sort of "know" what has happened in Haiti is "wrong" is because buried within us is a sort of Divine "Original Idea" blueprint for the way things are supposed to be. The once-atheist-turned-Christian C.S. Lewis once put it this way:

“My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of 'just' and 'unjust?'… What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?… Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too – for the argument depended on saying that the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my private fancies…Consequently atheism turns out to be too simple."

Lewis was on to something here, for he came to realize that suffering provided a better argument for God’s existence than one against it.  In order to recognize something wasn't right, you unconsciously have to admit there is a "right."  So whether someone realizes it or not, they have gone back to the Original Idea of the Creator set in motion when they cry out against the way things currently are.

This is one way that God can use destruction to bring about a recognition and process of healing.

Think about it - what we learn from the Blueprint of Genesis 1-2 is that the Lord desired us to be in a mutually caring relationship with one another.  Jesus underscored this when He commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.  We've certainly had the opportunity to do so with Haiti for many years, and yet we've let them goe by with the average Haitian trying to get by and live on less than $2 a day.

I wonder... why didn't we TXT a pledge to help Haiti with that before the past week?  How come efforts to raise funds didn't make headlines until just recently?  Why has the effort to adopt Haitian orphans only just increased... in the past week and a half?

Oh yeah...

because we really didn't care about Haiti.

But then suddenly - a tragedy occurred - and we started caring.

Did you notice that?

It's why the current President and the previous two Presidents began hanging out. These men who have wasted so much of their energy trying to destroy each other's credibility in order to make their own shinier... put their arms around one another.  Folks, that's not a political statement... that's a spiritual one.

For we've done the same, haven't we?

It happened during 9/11.  It happened during Hurricane Katrina.  And it's happened in previous generations as well... from World Wars to Great Depressions.  People who never spoke to one another started having sober conversations; friends and family members began to reconcile; a grassroots effort began to bring hope and healing to those who had been hurt.

As if the Original Idea of caring for one another kicked in, even after years of suppressing it beneath our own agendas for life.  Something was broken, and so we all reached back to an unconscious understanding of our responsibility to care for one another and begin restoring the devastation of creation back into its original image.

It's as if God tries to get our attention in the best way possible, but we put our headphones on to listen to our favorite music instead.  So He shouts a bit - and for a split second we tune out the music and try to hear Him, because it momentarily rattled us.  Then He taps us on the shoulder - and again we pause, but then go back to our own beat.  Finally He shakes us, and we complain, "Hey!  Why did You have to shake me like that?"

Listen to these words spoken by singer Keith Green at a concert in 1979, addressing the theme of how God speaks to His people when they are hard-hearted (again - keep in mind this was shared 31 years ago and look at the timeliness of these eternal thoughts):

"When God wants to talk to (stubborn) people He talks to them in three ways. First, He touches them where it hurts - in their economy.  If that doesn't get their attention, then He touches their ecology... the rains, the locusts, the famine, the earthquakes, and so on.  And if that doesn't work, He raises up a nation to come and invade them.  I think we have struck out in two of those areas.


I'm not a prophet of doom... I'm a prophet of love. But love will bid a warning doom to those children that play on the freeway.  And I tell you this - we need to wake up, for Jesus wept over Jerusalem and said, 'Bid that the Father, the Lord of the Harvest, send laborers into the Harvest."

Maybe sometimes God has to allow the worst to happen to us in order to bring out the best in us.

Perhaps the Lord isn't as inactive as we think He is.

"It takes no faith to trust God when He is obviously moving. Real faith is holding on and believing when God SEEMS absent." - Rick Warren

And yet... perhaps the emotional question still remains.  "Why this way?"

Again, first think about how you even "know" to ask that question.

And then... I'll spend some time addressing that question tomorrow.

haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions - pt 2

I am not sure that anyone can be argued into placing their faith in God.  It would seem that a lot of Christians invest their time into debating, and I've definitely spent my share doing so in the past.  While I've found that I could dismantle many arguments thrown my way, it often boiled down to if the person was willing to change what he/she believed about God... and in most cases the person wasn't willing.

All that energy... blocked by a shield of hard-heartedness. And yet most Christians pursue others as if they were trying to get them to purchase a movie ticket when they'd rather go bowling.  "Fine, you've convinced me," the believer hopes the unbeliever might say. "I'll choose Jesus. Does He come with a bucket of popcorn?" 

So I'm not expecting this series of thoughts on "Haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions" to convert anyone.  Rather, you need to come to God because you realize that there is something quite beautiful and indescribably majestic about who He is... or perhaps the other way around, in that you recognize you are hypocritical and full of sin, in desperate need of a Savior who can free you from it all. 

For you to see any of that - truly, for you to even glimpse at that - you need to understand how much of your life is already "faith-based," for there are plenty of things you place your faith in each day that involve trust in something you don't fully understand.  You hop in a car in faith that the company who made it knows what they're doing; you turn on the water in faith that the water company got your payment and hasn't shut off your service; you make an appointment with a friend and have faith they will show up on time; you have children in faith that they will add to your life and you will add to theirs.  Recognizing these small examples can help you navigate what to do with the hurdles you have yet to reconcile.  Which gets into the first thought I'd like to explore in this issue of pain, destruction, God, and what it all means. 

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He answered “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength," adding that the second was to "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." (Mark 12:30-31) Often when we attempt to go one-on-one with God we only use  1-3 of those approaches, inadvertently sacrificing a 4th in the process.  For instance, someone may have never really learned to love God with their mind because they grew up in a Christian home and have never felt the urge to question their faith... even though they should.  On the other hand, someone else may have come to God through some thorough Q&A through history and archeology, and yet their faith is so cerebral that they've never truly worshipped Jesus from the depths of their soul... even though they should.

This is important to recognize because there will be times when it's hard to "wrap our minds around" something like Haiti.  We may not ever be able to for that matter.  We are desperately trying to understand something we don't understand, and since we can't seem to do so we conclude that there isn't an adequate answer, hence, "God doesn't exist."  After all, if God is good He would certainly never allow bad things to happen, right?

There is a major flaw in this reasoning, for buried beneath the assertion that the world is filled with pointless evil is a hidden premise.  Specifically, the person claiming it believes, "If evil appears pointless to me, then it must be pointless."

Several years back I was on a road trip and helped some students set their tents up for the night.  Before I could set mine up it started raining, and so I ended up sleeping in a van for the night.  By morning I had a pinched nerve in my neck that ended up staying with me for almost six months.  Keep in mind, that's six months of pain... all the time.  A few weeks in I decided to see a chiropractor, and then in turn he suggested I see a doctor so I could take part in physical therapy.  All of this angered me for it seemed to be purely pointless pain... for while I had been doing a very good thing - "the Lord's work" - by taking these kids on the trip, there wasn't any need for me to experience what I did.  "What kind of God would let me suffer like that?"

And yet...

The chiropractor and I struck up a friendship, and eventually I ended up getting to know him and his girlfriend, which in turn led me to marry them and help that marriage get an amazing start.  And the doctor I saw for physical therapy?  Before he sent me off he ran some blood work on me... and noticed something that otherwise would have gone undetected, eventually becoming life-threatening.  I was able to put new habits in my life that helped reverse what had happened (versus something more severe and fatal).

Huh.

So maybe the pain wasn't so pointless after all.  Though I would have really liked to have traded the active pain of those six months, I would not trade the insights I gained from it.

There are times that God doesn't make sense to the mind, which is where the soul comes into play... the mind sees the here-and-now, but the soul through faith sees a bigger picture.  Sort of like comparing watching a train as it passes car-by-car versus seeing the birds-eye view of the whole thing at once... we sit and wait at the flashing stop lights for the thing to be over, while the Creator sees and knows its context from above.

So... could it be possible that while God intended for this world to be without pain or disease, and we broke it, that He can use even our bent toward destruction to bring about healing?   Just because we can't see it just yet, does it mean there isn't a proactive reason we shouldn't consider?  One that can't been seen with the mind alone, but only when the mind works in tandem with the heart, the soul, and the strength of a person/community?  Or perhaps one that can't be seen at all on this side of heaven?

Again - we seem to care more about Haiti and its people after the earthquake than we did before the earthquake... for before the earthquake hit they were barely surviving as a people while we paid our $20 to see Avatar in 3-D with $12 worth of snacks on our lap.

Huh.

I'll write more on that tomorrow.

haiti, faith, and a whole lot of questions - pt 1

Okay... it's time to ask the question and attempt to wrestle with it.

You know the question, don't you?

I saw it this past week when I received a text message from someone in our church who said, "(My husband and I have been) praying... trying to get our heads around over 100,000 people confirmed dead and more to be expected. A whole school of children! How do you get your brain/heart around that? Oh God!"

And then there was another this morning from someone who said via Facebook, "My heart is breaking for the Haitian people....ANOTHER earthquack/aftershock??? This seems SO not fair! I'm having a little trouble reconciling a God of Mercy right now.....:("

Personally, I think these moments of tension are powerful.  I know I'm not supposed to, because these are supposed to be thoughts that atheists do a little dance about when Christians become speechless at the tragedy in this world.  They hurl insults like, "Look at this mess. Where is your God now?  See, I told you!  He isn't there, is He?"

Ah... what a great opportunity.  I don't by any means in saying that mean to lighten the heaviness of what has happened, but rather to point out the pure growth that can happen now that we are asking those questions.

Because the atheists have a point - the deity that we've been worshipping doesn't exist, and in these moments we learn that.   But that doesn't mean God doesn't exist - read what I just wrote... "the deity that we've been worshipping doesn't exist."

Let me be clearer - many well meaning people worship a God that is more of a math problem than a Lord over the universe.  He's the "God who always makes sense" and "doesn't give you more than you can handle" - the one that says if you're good and vote Republican/Democrat, good things will happen to you and you'll have a prosperous life.  He's the "safety-net-God," the "it's-okay-to-look-down-your-nose-at-other-people-who-are-living-apart-from-so-you-can-feel-good-that-you-aren't-like-them-God," and "go-to-church-every-Sunday-and-life-will-make-sense-God."

That God doesn't exist.

You may need to read that last sentence again.

And so the atheists have it right when they point it out to us.

Now, I don't believe that the people who wrote the comments I quoted earlier believe in this lesser-god, but rather are trying to make sense out of the real God.  And I totally applaud that and believe this is the time to do what they are attempting to do.  We must figure out what it means to reconcile the destruction in our world with who God is... and isn't.

Because the God that the atheists have formed that they will not believe in (yes, that is ironic) doesn't exist either.  The popular statement is that “A God who is good and all-powerful cannot allow evil to exist, but evil does exist, therefore there is no good and all-powerful God.”  Without realizing it, they have also made a statement of faith in forming their anti-faith.

I know... this is heavy and confusing stuff.

So maybe the greater question about all of this has to do with why we land where we land as we circle all the chaos in life.

• Why is it that on the same night as a major news special on the tragedy in Haiti the Golden Globes aired? Why do we allow that to happen?  Which did you tune into?
  
  
  
• Why is it that on a USA Today page that shows pictures of the devastation there are headlines just below like "Nicole Richie fashions a clothing line" and "Brad Pitt's beard turns heads?"  Why do we allow that to happen?  Which headline did you click on?
  

I'm going to write a bit on this each day for the next few days, and I hope in doing so your understanding of God - the real One, that is - grows.

That is, if you're willing to take part in this journey... which means holding your current understanding of God (or anti-God) a little looser so you might better understand what you do - or don't - believe in.

I heard, but I did not understand. So I asked, "My lord, what will the outcome of all this be?"(Daniel 12:8)

covering a decade in one post

It's wild how much happens in a decade, and how certain themes stand out to different people. Be it good times or tough times, God uses so many things shape a person.

In 2000...

• I bought a kerosene heater and filled our bathtub up with water just in case Y2k went down. It was the first house we owned together.
• My wife and I welcomed in the New Year together by counting down with folks from our church. Just a few seconds before midnight, I gave her a pair of diamond earrings.
• I got my first writing assignment from someone... and I gave it away to them for free.
• I went to my first National Youth Worker's Convention.
  
• My wife was a teacher in the public schools, and I was a youth pastor in a great church.
  
• It was just Katie and I... and our dog.

In 2001...

• My son, Joshua, was born to us... what an incredible blessing. His life helped save two others within just months of his birth.
• My dad responded to an invitation to receive Jesus into His life in a new way.
• I went to my second National Youth Worker's Convention. While I was gone, my wife became ill.
  
• A group of guys and I coordinated a huge weekend in Chicago for thousands of teens.
  
• Our senior pastor left to start another church, and so I started doing a lot of the preaching in addition to the youth ministry. It was still a great church, though.

In 2002...

• My son took his first steps... and I saw them.
• I went to my third National Youth Worker's Convention... this time as a speaker. While I was gone, bees infested my home.
  
• I ate the best steak in my life... probably the best meal in my life. Some place in Sacramento that I never caught the name of but could find if given the chance.
• Our church hired a new senior pastor.
• I was unjustly let go from my position at the church. I had to work as a waiter to help my family get by, in addition to anything else I could find. I also had to decide if I wanted anything to do with "church world" anymore... which meant a huge crisis in my faith. Instead of hitting auto-pilot, I entered into some deep soul digging... and came out on the other side more in love with the Lord and His Church ("on it's good days and it's bad days") than ever before.
  
• I entered a new church and took on the youth ministry role there.
• My family and I sold our old home and took on a new home.

In 2003...

• My son, Daniel, was born to us... another incredible blessing. His life filled added to our hearts in so many ways, including an understanding that life is fragile.
• We invested into our new home... painted walls, landscaped the front yard and back yard, put up borders and themed rooms around our boys... added a banister... you get the idea.
  
• I went to my fourth National Youth Worker's Convention... with a dream team accompanying me. While I was gone, my kids became incredibly sick.
  
• Our new church began to plan for a new youth building. I began coordinating and brainstorming ideas for this with key leaders, as well as with staff in the church on what this might look like. A lot of enthusiasm.
• The youth group grew in size and in depth... teenagers were giving their lives to Jesus all over the place. One night, 40 kids came to place their faith in the Lord. It was amazing!
  
• After conversations with my senior pastor and hearing his definition of success... I started to worry for my job.

In 2004...

• I began to become someone I wasn't... to keep my job.
• Katie and I started to work on our garage... these birds used to come into them because the roof wasn't sealed. So we sealed it (with the help of family).
• I spent the spring and summer packing up our old youth building, having high school ministry meet in my backyard, middle school ministry meet under a tent, and desperate to get into the youth building our church was putting up. I wore myself out.
  
• My bride and I celebrated ten years of marriage together.
  
• In September, we met for the first time in this new building.
• In October, I was unjustly asked to step out of my role as a youth worker and reassigned to another role in the church that had a four-month timeline to its longevity. I went home during lunch... and told my wife the news. We sat around the table in one of the rooms we'd invested time into painting and prettying up since owning it. I remember looking at the green carpet in the next room... we'd put that in, too. Funny how you remember certain things like that. That night I showed up to my first responsibility the new job required... with a chosen smile on my face.
• I got the lights. Some of the kids whom I'd impacted TP'd my office. Funny how you remember certain things like that.
• I went to my fifth National Youth Worker's Convention. For the first time... not as a youth worker. During that week, the Lord again challenged me with what I would do with people who give Him a bad name. When I realized I was one of them, and He still loved me, I again fell in love with His church and its potential. ("The church is a whore, and she is my mother." - Augustine)
  
• I started looking for other job options... but knew that I still needed to give my best where I was... so I did.
  

In 2005...

• I was told I was doing an amazing job in my new role... my job was extended another four months. I kept doing my job as best as I can... and I kept looking.
• My wife got to watch a neighbor girl she'd connected with and brought to church get baptized. We call that simple act of loving people around us and seeing what God does with that "The Nikala Factor."
  
• We sold our house. We had to repaint a few of the rooms... tear down some of the borders that we'd chosen to personalize it... that was difficult.
  
• My job ended. I sort of slipped out under the radar... not a lot of fanfare.
  
• We moved into my wife's parents' house... "just for a few months." After all I was sure I was going to get hired somewhere where I was in the final running. They were on vacation... the house was small, but empty. We weren't complaining.
• I didn't get the job. Oh.
  
• I was offered another job. But it wasn't the right fit on my end. And then I wanted another job, but it wasn't the right fit on their end. (you can copy and paste this statement several, several, several, several times)
• I started blogging... not like I had anything to say that anyone would want to read, but I needed a way to try to stay sane.
  
• I was offered my "dream" job - the one I'd always wanted. But God wasn't in it... and I turned it down. Which made me ask, "If that's not my dream job, what is?"
• We were running out of money. Still living at my in-laws modular home, and they'd now returned from vacation. Shared space... one roof... two households.
  
• I started writing professionally... someone actually asked me to write for them and they offered me money. And then someone else read that, and offered me money to write for them, too.
• The church I was let go from in 2001? They lost their senior pastor... and asked me to come back and start teaching there while they searched for a new one. That became a regular job for almost nine months... and I had the chance to reconcile loose ends from the past while making an eternal impact.
• I went to my sixth National Youth Workers Convention - because a buddy of mine let me mooch off of him and another buddy on the top leg of the convention spotted me a registration.

In 2006...

• We were still in my in-law's home.
• My son Joshua started asking questions on his own that inspired him to ask Jesus to be His Lord and Savior. Wow!
  
• My wife and I began to ponder and imagine planting a church. And so we started... and moved to the town we thought it would be best to plant in. We began the process... and then we stopped. And started again. And then stopped.
  
• We were again running out of money... my wife started working at Panera. I took on a part-time job at a Boys and Girls Club... and as a freelance writer for the Kalamazoo Gazette... and still as a Sunday speaker for that former church... and still looking for the "right fit" with a church... job hunting every second of every minute of every hour of every day.
• My oldest son began Kindergarten - homeschooled by the best teacher I've ever known (my wife).
  
• I was offered another writing job... this time one that paid regular money every week. My wife was able to quit Panera. That was a really, really great conversation. That company also offered me a full-time role... which I really pondered taking. "Was this supposed to be my new job?"
  
• The Kalamazoo Gazette began to groom me for a staff role. I had several front page articles... which was weird since I'd never taken a journalism class in my life. "Was this supposed to my new job?"
  
• A church we'd started attending was taking steps to bring me in as a staff member... I might eventually lead a satellite church they would start in a year. "Was this supposed to be my new job?"
  
• I started talking with this church in Ohio. I think it was literally after having spoken with 400 other churches on some level... and I really wish I was exaggerating. So to me the conversation was quite routine. The guy on the other end tells me some stuff, I tell him some stuff, and it ends up being another "non-fit" one way or the other.
• I kept talking to this church. One phone call had members of their staff asking me questions. I was tired of interviewing the "right" way, so I just said what I thought. No masks. No desire to impress. Full disclosure. And strangely... they kept talking with me.
• We were invited for a visit. I came with my family... I knew I'd turn the job down. We got off the highway and suddenly... my heart started to break for the people of this town.
  
• Two weeks later, I went to my seventh National Youth Worker's Convention. And in the middle of it knew I needed to accept the job that had been offered to me by that church.
• My wife flew over, and in 36 hours found our house. We came back a couple weeks later to sign the papers (and for me to preach the Christmas Eve service). We then moved in a week later (and were helped on the Michigan end by everyday people whose lives we'd touched simply by loving them as our neighbor).

In 2007...

• I began serving Connection Church as its Lead Pastor. That was and still is so completely humbling. I determined to never become someone I wasn't to tell people who God is.
  
• My youngest son - Daniel - place his faith in Jesus as His Lord and Savior... and we celebrated!
• My wife and I decided that we would hold everything in our life - our house, vehicles, yards, and so forth - very simply and loosely... just in case wanted to use it for something awesome.
  
• I realized that part of being a lead pastor means cleaning up after people's carelessness... sometimes my own, and sometimes other leaders - past and present. But that's part of the gig, and I won't hide it.
  
• Since our church met in a movie theater, I kept the main projector at home throughout the week. I had a crazy idea to use it on the side of our house and show movies to the neighbors... and we did, and it was a ton of fun.
  
• After many days and weeks of helping and coaching him, Katie and I watched Joshua ride his bike without training wheels!
  
• My first book (with my name on it - not someone else I was ghost-writing for) was published.
• My mom lost her husband... and four days later was served notice that she couldn't sell her house to the only person who was interested in it. She soon began to fight for her house when the city got quite silly and self-seeking. So I called the press and the grassroots fight began. She eventually moved to Ohio near us.
  
• Our church moved out of the movie theater and into a rent-free building (while the next building was being built).
  
• I went to my eighth National Youth Worker's Convention... again as a speaker. My family was sick while I was gone, and of course... I got sick - pink eye, sore throat, stuffy nose - you name it. And my electronics failed in my presentation. I bombed it bad.

In 2008...

• I had the chance to baptize my mom for her faith in Jesus. Wow... another amazing privilege.
  
• Our church started a second service... wow.
• One of my boys called me weird... made me laugh.
  
• My neighborhood and my church did something awesome together for a neighbor who was dying.
• A building was built for our congregation to gather in. I was determined to keep our values with it in check.
  
• I shared my secret with the world.
• I went to my ninth National Youth Worker's Convention... again as a speaker. I think I actually did what I hoped to do that time... of course, my family got sick while I was gone.
• Again... we got caught doing something right. This time it was at Christmas.
  

In 2009...

• I finished writing a book... and used the income from that to take my family on an amazing vacation.
• I found out the book I finished was going to be published by a "big dog" in the publishing world.
• My boys did the sports thing some more... and showed me more of how amazing they are in character. (Not to mention, Joshua scored his first touchdown, and Daniel had a great soccer season.)
  
• My wife and I were floored by God one night.
• Somehow... fifteen years of marriage went by. And by that I mean they were absolutely amazing... which is why my bride and I celebrated it by renewing our vows together and going away on a special trip "just the two of us."
  
• Daniel started Kindergarten... also under the greatest teacher in the world.
  
• Our church blessed our socks off... fun cards and cakes... a great dinner filled with all the trimmings. What a great group of people!
  
• I went to my tenth National Youth Workers Convention - this time as someone behind the scenes who helped support things for the people I've grown to become great friends with.
• We became pregnant with our third child. Totally joyful... totally on purpose... totally a God thing.

Wild.

I know I started out this post simply and ended up doing some dumping along the way. I apologize if that bothered you, but I felt the need to just be honest... a couple of times I pondered deleting some things I wrote, but I'm tired of playing that game. If something is wrong, I'm not going to dance around it.

On the other hand, the reason I went there is because so much of life right now feels "right." Not because it's "good and happy and nice" but because we've been sandpapered by life and backward choices people have made in our direction... and we've sort of learned to recognize what really matters and what doesn't. Like how we need to spend more time in relationships and less on our stuff... and how there is a much larger Story to live in than "how much money?" and "how many did you count?" and "me, me, me."

I think it's why last night Katie and I talked a bit after we put the boys to bed (after the countdown to the New Year). We're so exceedingly grateful to God where we are at, thankful that He's taught us so much about ourselves and people and what it means to serve Him. So again - if it seems like I have some unresolved issues with anything above, it's not... it's more than I've not let those things define me as much as I continue to let them refine me.

Maybe that's the best any of us can hope for from where we've come. Because if you reverse that... you're always stuck in the past.

Me? It's a new day, and a new decade.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:13-14)

a sober assessment

I do my best, but I am still a hypocrite.

Hopefully, though, I am not so comfortable with that understanding that I stop my Divine surrender to grow.

May every drop of sweat in the right direction be a baptism of dedication...

and may I sweat buckets of love and redemptive justice each day.

it would seem i'm being recruited

It would seem as though there are at least three cable stations that operate with the understanding that by running the same Pauly Shore movie every night I will eventually watch it.

So far I'm good...

but I find myself pondering the potential merits of "In The Army Now" more now than I did seven days ago.

It goes without saying that many things in my life (and perhaps yours) are like this. Perhaps for you it's not Pauly Shore (and I hope it isn't), but it's probably something else.

Something that is absolutely "out of the question."

And the next time, it's still absolutely "out of the question."

And maybe even the next several times.

But you keep seeing pop up as an option.

And...

and...

and...

There's nothing else to do...

and...

It's not like it's a "big deal."

and...

I mean, it's Pauly Shore. He's had a few good moments, right?

I think I laughed at Son-In-Law, and I may have even seen Encino Man.

So why not?

I mean, I hear it's "genuinely funny."

The Houston Post said so.

So why not?

First off, if you are Pauly Shore or have a family/friendship connection with Mr Shore, I mean no disrespect at using his name for the metaphor of this post.

However, Mr Shore has admitted to his "D List" celebrity status on more than one occasion, and I wonder how many things in our life are also "D List" options.

• The dream you're considering abandoning because it takes too many drops of sweat.
• A relationship that seems uphill... and you're tired of climbing.
  
• The standards you've been maintaining and yet are thinking they're keeping your from any real fun.
  
• That guy or gal you're thinking about cozying up to more than you know is healthy.
• Whatever you feel you "owe yourself" and have been putting off... but now don't feel like putting off anymore.
  

It's odd how one little toe entering a pool can send ripples all throughout the rest of the water.

New research from the Kellogg School of Management finds individuals believe they have more restraint than they actually possess; this ultimately leading to poor decision-making.

The study, led by Loran Nordgren of the Kellogg School, found the sample on average displayed a “restraint bias,” causing individuals to miscalculate the amount of temptation they could truly handle, leading to a greater likelihood of indulging impulsive or addictive behavior. People are not good at anticipating the power of their urges, and those who are the most confident about their self-control are the most likely to give into temptation.

“The key is simply to avoid any situations where vices and other weaknesses thrive and, most importantly, for individuals to keep a humble view of their willpower,” said Nordgren. Furthermore, Nordgren concluded, this research suggests observers should think twice before judging those who fall prey to temptation, because most of us overestimate our capacity to control our own impulses. LifeSite News 8/5/09

Mr Pauly Shore used to call himself "the Weasel." Interesting, considering me using him as a metaphor for the junk temptations in my life.

"The Weasel" and I currently remain separated from one another.

I wonder what I need to do to keep it that way.

"and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:27)