why pray?

As best as I can, I try to keep up with different conversations happening around the world through friendships and networking online. One caught my attention recently:

"Please tell me why you pray."

This wasn't asked by someone who isn't familiar with Christianity, but by someone I know who asks thought-provoking questions to make sure we aren't becoming robotic in our expressions of worship. Perhaps that's why the question made me chuckle, not because it isn't a good one but because I likely would have answered it different ways over the years. When I was younger I may have said "Because we're supposed to," and as I entered into a season of agnosticism in my early teens I probably would have arrogantly spewed, "Because it's a goofy tradition." As I grew in my faith, I might have replied, "It helps me connect with God better." Perhaps I may have even stated 5 to 10 years ago, "Jesus commanded it - right there in the Sermon on the Mount."

I'm not sure how I'll answer that question in the future, but here was my confident reply this week:

"My only answer to the question 'Why pray?' is simply 'Why breathe?'"

Although that made perfect sense to me, I received a reply via Twitter:

"Tony, with all due respect, that statement makes no sense."

First off, I appreciate the "all due respect" part. Sometimes we fail to honor responses and replies that don't fit within our scheme of how we see the world, or are trying to make a point at the world. To return the favor, I'm writing this blog post since Twitter only allows 140 characters of thought or pushback. If I had more space to communicate my thought, I would add the following:

"Sure it does, but maybe not with your initial glance. Consider what each has in common with the other.

Breathing is the unconscious pathway to life that can be at times a conscious decision, such as taking a deep breath or holding your breath. Even with such actions, you eventually will lapse into it being an unconscious activity because sleep takes over or you become weary of being so intentional; however, there are times where holding your breath makes sense to avoid injecting harmful fluids or gas, and other times where a deep breath brings nourishment and relaxation to your body.

Prayer is the activity of 'breathing' for the Christ-follower: it is something a spiritually restored person does to unconsciously stay alive with God (Matthew 6), and this is assisted by the Holy Spirit through even our groans (Romans 8:26). We can also take the action of 'holding our prayers' when we begin to babble unnecessarily and cross a line Jesus warned against; similarly, we can also 'Selah' and pause to find our rest and renewal by intentionally and slowly exhaling our burdens and inhaling the realities of God... something we're encouraged to do continually, or without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

So I apologize for writing something in the form of a question that is full of such detail... but prayer is as unconscious as breathing, and in this way everything we do can be a form of it. Likewise, we don't need to fear it taking on a conventional form at times because we don't want to look like simpleton Christians, but it is more than those conventional forms people turn it into. For all we may want to criticize them, sometimes our drive to appear unconventional keeps us from missing the Trinity in the ceiling fan, if you know what I mean."

I hope that helps clarify, and blesses others on the journey of being neither conventional nor unconventional... but simply open to and interactive with the Lord.

a wallet, a worry and a wow

I lost my wallet a day and a half ago.

Maybe you know the first round of such a loss, including the rounds that follow:

• Round 1: "Hmm... my wallet isn't where I left it. Aw well, it's probably in one of the other two or three places I usually throw it down."
  
  
• Round 2: "That's weird. It's not in any of those places. Well... maybe it's in what I was wearing the other day. Let's see, is that in the washer or hamper... or on the floor next to the bed...?"
  
  
• Round 3: "Okay.... where the heck is my wallet? I guess I need to check the car or van. Maybe I left it in there."
  
  
• Round 4: "HEY CAN SOMEONE LOOK UNDER THE COUCH FOR ME WHILE I LIFT IT UP?"
  
  
• Round 5:
  
  (someone else) "Where was the last place you had it?"
  
  (me, internally) "Brilliant. Why didn't I ask myself that question? The last place I had it is where it would be, Einstein."
  
  (me, out loud) "I have no idea."
  
  
• Round 6: "Hey, boys? Can you help Dad look for his wallet?"
   
• Round 7: "I guess you have to drive us there, because I don't have my wallet."
   
• Round 8: "Hi, I was outside your store the other day renting a movie from the Blockbuster kiosk. Did anyone happen to find a wallet and turn it in yesterday or today?"
  
  
• Round 9: "SERIOUSLY! CAN SOMEONE LOOK AGAIN UNDER THE COUCH WHILE I LIFT IT UP?"
   
• Round 10: (praying) "God, I am so hosed. I'm going to give this two more hours. I'm going to tear apart anything movable in the car and van... rip the sheets off the bed... turn the hamper upside down... because I am out of options and am worrying my head off about identity theft and someone draining our checking, savings, and everything in between. Seriously, God, I don't say 'suck' that often but that would really suck."
  
  (pause, spontaneously recalls a Bible verse... for some reason)
  
  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Jesus, in Matthew "something"
  
  (me) "Oh... yeah. So... God... I don't want to worry about this. I mean, I know there are things I will need to do if I can't find my wallet. I also know there are some real issues I may have to deal with identity theft. But, you know what... I don't want to worry and I know you can help me with that. So I'd like to find it, but whether I do or don't I'm going to trust You with this completely, no matter how it turns out. That's that."
   
• Round 11: (five minutes after that prayer, now speaking to self) "Okay... I need to tear out all the stuff in my trunk... and then the backseat... and then..."
  
  (text message sound on my phone goes off)
  
  (to self) "I wonder who that is."
  
  (the text message is from Twitter, updating me about someone mentioning my name in a post. "Whatever," I think. Then I look below it at another text I missed from five minutes earlier - it was Katie texting me to tell me she found my wallet. You know, right about when I was praying.)

By no means am I proposing that when you pray "everything works out like you want it to."

I can say that there have been significant, clear times that I have shifted my perspective to trust in God in incredibly hard situations and this has happened. Maybe I was in a long season of waiting on something to change - or what just seemed like a long season because of the worry - and "nothing changed." It's not like I was asking for bad things... but I was asking God for "something" instead of merely finding my home in Him, "no matter what."

Once I did make that shift, though, there were significant moments were something almost instantaneously changed externally... perhaps because of what had shifted internally.

I don't know how all of this works. I wish this was a formula, but if it was it wouldn't be a relationship.

Wow.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

what's the point of prayer - pt 4

I couldn't imagine a better ending to this series on prayer than something that just happened 15 minutes ago.

The scene: Nighttime prayers.

The player: Daniel, my 7-year old.

The dialogue: "Thank you, God, for making me. And thank you for making my family. And please let this whole school thing be worth it. Amen."

what's the point of prayer - pt 3

After my first and second post in this series on prayer, we come to one of the most honest questions we ask about prayer.

To sum up…

• PART ONE underscores that we can’t control God, be it through prayer or any other means.
• PART TWO revealed that God has a Story, knows all things, and is working toward something.

From one vantage point, prayer is an unburdening of sorts. People sometimes pray at bed time to get things off of their chest and out of their head so they can sleep. Others find it helpful to pray a prayer of thankfulness before facing the negative stuff in life because it helps them put things in perspective.

These are great practices, but the Bible reveals prayer can be something even deeper. Namely, that prayer awakens your relationship with God and activates a trust in the Holy Spirit who resides within a born-again Christian. It's extremely catalytic to your life and faith, especially when it feels like your requests and conversation are in step with God.

However, this is also where it gets sticky. God knows all things, which means He knows all things that could be known - past, present, and future - and he knows them all at the same time. He is never surprised from the big picture, and yet is active in the world we are in just as much as we are.

Understanding this before we move on is key, so let me give you a metaphor. Imagine what it would be like to stick your hand in a fishbowl and wiggle your fingers. To the fish, you exist in its world as something it doesn’t understand… so it reacts accordingly. You, however, see the entire fish bowl so no matter where the fish swims you see it (whether or not you move your hand to stay on top of it)

Unlike this example, God isn’t merely playing around in the “water” we live in. His nature causes Him to add life to our life, and prune out what doesn’t belong (see John 15). He knows the names of all 5.7 billion people who call planet earth home, but not as a trivia fact. He knows the names of everyone who has ever lived here and everyone yet to be born, but not as a history lesson. He knows these things because He cares for us, whether your health is in question or finances seem tighter than ever. He feels the angst of those situations, as well as what happens when your crabby boss gets on your case or how you sometimes worry about things you don’t say out loud.

Listen to the words of Psalm 139:1-4.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 

It's a liberating truth for your prayer life, because it means I don’t have to yell or shout to try and make him understand. Sometimes I barely even use words in my prayers, because I know He knows. Repeating myself in a prayer is helpful only for me - He got the message the first time. Actually, he got the message before I ever sent it.

So why pray?

Consider an interview Dan Rather once had with Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Dan asked, "What do you say to God when you pray?"

Teresa answered, "I listen."

Dan, somewhat flustered, countered, "Well, then, what does God say?"

Teresa replied, "He listens." At that point Dan Rather looked totally puzzled, so Teresa added, "If you can't understand that, I can't explain it to you."

God has invited us to bring our needs to Him, but not to seek the answer. Rather, He is most concerned with our relationship with Him and what is happening in us before anything may change in what’s happening to us. We are told to ask, to seek, to knock so the door can be opened (Matthew 7:7-8).

But have you ever asked “The door to what?” 

In Psalm 81:10 the Lord promises, “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” You can either focus on what your mouth gets filled with, or you can focus on Who is doing the filling and why He’s doing it.

Here’s another problem with our prayers: We don’t know what we really need. We think we do, but we don’t. Or to be more accurate, we know part of our needs, but not all of them. Our perspective is inevitably limited by our own experience, desires and personal knowledge. There may be a legitimate pain that we want relieved in our life or someone else’s, but we aren’t always correct in assuming that is the way things ought to be.

In contrast, Matthew 6:8 plainly declares, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Yet He desires us to pray so that we can can express our total dependence upon our Heavenly Father.
That’s the big answer, by the way. We pray to merge our sense of the ultimate story with His Story. I pour out my heart before Him not to convince Him of something, but so that I can let Him share His heart with mine and we somehow meet in the middle.

Romans 8:26 says that “We do not know what we ought to pray for.” How true that is. Over the years I’ve begged God for what I thought I wanted, only He held back to give me what I *really* wanted. In one case I got the answer I demanded - it was a dream job that was offered to me. However, I realized and prayed, “God, You’re letting me have this, but I know You are not in it. So I’m going to say no.” In another case it was “God, I want things to work out with this girl,” only they didn’t – and as hard as it was, things shifted in me that prepared me for meeting my amazing wife.

There have been other things God has said “Not now” or “No” to me on that to this day I still don’t understand. This is where prayer again comes back to the relationship, for if I see God as only a genie who runs on my will I won’t trust His answers. Yet if I pray on good days and bad days, I can more authentically come to Him, wrestle with Him and follow Him no matter what the answer is.

Picture a father watching his child trying to put together a puzzle. The kid tries and tries but just can’t get the pieces in the right place. The father watches with great interest, but he doesn’t interfere.

Finally, the child comes over and crawls in his lap and says, “Daddy, would you help me put my puzzle together?” He smiles and bends down and together they begin to pick up each piece. One by one they put the puzzle together.

Why didn’t the father help his daughter earlier? For one thing, there was no ask for help. For another, he wanted his child to learn what it means to try. And most of all, he wanted this to be a two-way thing, and not just him imposing his will on his child.

Is this not a picture of how our Father deals with His children? Although He longs to come to our aid, often He waits until we specifically ask Him. Sometimes He wants us to come to the end of our own pitiful resources before He intervenes. When we cry out in despair, He is honored as we express our complete dependence upon Him (not out of ego, but because that is actually how it is whether we admit it or not). And there are times when He says, “I have to say no to this one, or at least ‘Not yet,’ because I am saying ‘Yes’ to something greater you can’t yet see.”

This is where it gets tricky, because we all know from personal experience that not all our aks of a parent are answered the first time we pray them… and the same can be true of God. Jesus tells a story about a persistent widow who wears down a judge through constant asks, and Christ compares that to how we are to pray. Sometimes we receive immediate answers, but often we must wait days, weeks, months, or even years before the answer comes. This isn’t because God is playing a game with us (although it may seem like it), but because timing matters.

Practically, how long should you pray for something God-honoring? Apparently the answer is pray until God answers your prayers.

But don’t seek the answer… seek God through your questions. 

He may be waiting to release something into your life, but you need to first become someone who can handle the answer appropriately. A human father doesn’t give car keys to a toddler… so make sure you are growing in your faith.

Again, back to the parable of the persistent widow, Jesus says: “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.” (Luke 18:7-8).

James 5:16 says “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” In the original language James used a word that means “to boil over.” Fervent prayers get God’s attention because they come from a heart that believes God’s power is unlimited.

Remember, He is God and we are not.

So why pray? Outside of everything that’s already been shared, here’s one more thought… God has commanded us to pray, which means that prayer must be good for us. He doesn't need us to do this to know anything, but by praying we begin to know more... and know Him more.

Prayer sometimes changes things, but it always changes us.  

And that just might be one of the greatest reasons to pray, outside of crawling up onto the lap of our Father and figuring out the puzzle of life together.

what's the point of prayer - pt 2

A few days ago I began answering a question that many of us wonder from time to time. Essentially, what's the point of prayer? Be sure to read PART ONE before taking in this next piece, for it underscores that we can’t control God, be it through prayer or any other means.

So what is the point of prayer then?

Have you ever noticed how when some movies come out everyone seems to get into them right away, only you don't manage to jump on board until much later?

I can think of a handful of flicks where this was the case for me. When Home Alone came out, I was already sick of it before even seeing it. Everyone kept telling me, "You have to see this movie!  This Culkin kid is hilarious!" I even had a friend drag me to see it, promising he'd pay for my ticket because it was just that important.

Of course, I hated the movie. I had seen most of the slapstick scenes in the previews that were endlessly run on television, and all the stories I'd heard about the plot and scenes from friends. Any attempt to make me enjoy this movie was impossible, because I was already shut off to it.

That is, until I had a son.

The movie happened to be on TV in the background while I was working on my laptop, and I saw the young Kevin McAlister really missing his family. I suddenly found myself watching Home Alone differently... not for the comedy, but for the family piece. That dang Culkin kid even made me cry at the end.

With me so far?

It happened again when I moved to Ohio some years back. I had TBS on, and it was playing its usual round of repeats. Without realizing it, I began passively watching Tommy Boy - a Chris Farley/David Spade flick that was met with much laughter when it first came out. I can't remember when I first saw it, but it struck me as "humorous" at the time. Nothing about it grabbed me, but it made me laugh.

Only this time I heard words that never had meaning for me before. Things like "Sandusky," and "Cuyahoga Falls." These were cities in Ohio, and because of my new context I saw the movie much differently. The movie no longer took place in a world I merely heard about as a part of a plot, but I realized that the plot actually involved my world.

Now...

I'm not sure why you pray.

For many, prayer is something we do in order to get something. Its can become a deal-making moment, such as "God, if you do this for me, I'll really shape up. I'll stop being a lazy religious person. I'll even go to church some more." Of course, we usually don't really mean those things... but it sounds good. We wonder if we can fake God out into giving us something, all so that we can withdraw and say, "Ha! You didn't read the fine print. I'm a liar, including when it comes to how important I say my faith is. You should have known that, God."

For others, prayer is an expression of a real relationship you have with God, and is your way of asking Him to do things you think He might want to do. We may pray, "God, please heal this person I love who is sick," or "Lord, I need some money so that I can take care of my family." Those sound like reasonable prayers, and (as I shared in the last post) we may have good reason to do these things. After all, it seemed like in some moments in the Bible God acted on requests like this after His people prayed.

Those moments are true, and yet while they happened we may be misreading those pieces of His Story a bit.

That's just it, by the way... it's His Story. Our stories are scenes in His movie... it's not the other way around. Think about it this way - "Who is the Author, and who is the pen?"

On the surface, that doesn't sound like a fun question because we already know the answer. Simply put, if God exists then He is God... and we aren't. Our agenda for life isn't as important as we think it is, and we need to at some point get honest with that. That either leads to trusting your life to God, or rebelling against the very idea.

But when we do trust the entire direction and every detail of our life to Jesus Christ, we occasionally hear God say something profound.

Like... "Sandusky."

Or... "Cuyahoga Falls."

(Insert your city name here: ________________)

And we begin to realize that what seemed irrelevant to our lives is actually quite relevant. Practically speaking, prayer brings us into this awareness... and this is what all of this means:

• We don't pray to inform God of anything. 
• Psalm 147:4 says, "He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name." Ponder what that means - billions and billions of stars, and He knows the identity and purpose of each one. I barely can remember the name of the last person I shook hands with. 
• Matthew 6:8 says, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." What a liberating truth, for nothing you can do or say is a surprise to God. He knows your secret thoughts, your hidden motives, your unspoken dreams, and He knows what you are going to say before you ever open your mouth.

• We pray to let God's Story and our story merge together.
• Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." When we pray, we remember that there is something greater happening than the moment we are in. We may not know what it is, nor how it will turn out... but by turning to God we recognize that He is God. That's something we often forget when we see how much we influence the world by our own efforts... prayer puts things into a much larger perspective.
• Matthew 6:10 says, "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." As we seek God through a specific burden, we're reminded that the way things are aren't the way they were created to be... and we have the chance to be a part of God revealing the Good News of His Kingdom through our lives.

That is another huge foundational piece, which when combined with the last post brings us to the final question: If God has a Story, and knows all things, and is working toward something, then why does He encourage me to talk to Him about my requests?

That's part 3. I'll write more on this later in the week.

what's the point of prayer - pt 1

I received this great question by a member of our church regarding prayer. I know it's asked by many people, so I'm going to write about this over the next few days. Here's the question:

Tony, would love to talk with you sometime about some things I have been struggling with in my faith. Being a health care professional, I see truly amazing people with heartbreaking diagnosis, and just situations in life that just hurt me. I pray for these people/situations... but sometimes struggle with what I perceive as a lack of response to these prayers. I read in the bible to pray for your concerns and troubles. But what is the point of prayer if it will not change the outcome... for God knows what’s going on, and really don't think he changes his mind just because we ask for it. I'd love to hear your take on this.

This is such an amazing and honest question, and I wish more people would ask it. It’s full of emotions, yet it also wants to understand what the point of prayer is. That’s the real thing we’re trying to figure out when we ask something like this, and the good news is that there is a great answer that can wrap our arms around.

First, though, you’ll need to let go of what prayer has been to you. In this case, you’re describing prayer as the means to get God to do something. I know you know there is more to it than that, but it may be the primary idea you think of when you think of the concept of prayer.

It is that for a lot of people, and seemingly justifiably so. After all, the Bible contains examples where someone prayed to God and suddenly there was a shift in a situation – someone was healed, an oppression was released, or the Lord specifically moved in a way that He hadn’t before the prayer. There are even some Christian circles where it’s taught that whatever you claim “in the name of Jesus” is guaranteed to happen.

Only it doesn’t always work that way. God isn’t a genie, and while we can recognize this we may still treat Him as such in our prayers. We send up our wishes, and He’s “supposed to” grant them. Especially if they’re “good” prayers – like healing someone who is sick.

Independent studies have been done to see if we can gauge if prayer “works” in this way. In one instance, researchers “proved” that prayer doesn’t change anything because situations didn’t change for people who were prayed for any more than they did for others who weren’t prayed for. Another study showed the opposite, though, in that people who were prayed for did have noted improvements and recovery beyond the others.

Depending upon what people believe about God, they are likely to believe only one of those studies and try to discount the other. However, both happened. Which means only one thing.

We can’t control God, be it through prayer or any other means.

So what is the point of prayer then?

That’s part two. I’ll write more on it soon.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." (Isaiah 55:8-11)

a word to a friend on unanswered prayer

A friend of mine who is going through a heavy trial that hasn't gone away asked for perspectives on prayer. I truly "get" his question... it's one that I've asked at different points over the years. Specifically, during times when I've also felt the burden to hang on to my burden because I was weary of giving it to God, who seemingly didn't answer me - after all, "What is the point of praying when you don't get what you want?" Or as he put it:

"Now, prayer feels like dropping stones from a bridge and waiting to hear them land in the water…and waiting…and waiting…and…nothing…."

I wrote back and felt like maybe I needed to share my response here as well.

-----

At our Christmas Eve service, a young woman came to me and said, "Are you the lead pastor of this church?" I said, "Yeah." She then went on to told me how while she was a visitor she had a leading to pray for whomever the pastor was. I said that'd be fine.

The first thing out of her mouth was (to the effect of), "Lord, I'm going to pray for Tony now just as I sense you've led me to, but I need to ask you for wisdom how to pray. So before I say anything else would you teach me what words I should ask of You or claim over him?"

I can't say I've ever prayed like that... and it was both a blessing and a learning curve. I view prayer as a connecting of the dots... me sharing my heart with God, and then letting God share His heart with me.

Truthfully, I'm actually afraid to speak of answered prayer to others because I know that it hints at an "A + B = C" system, and prayer to me is more conversation and burden trading than it is a Santa-style wishlist... i.e. "If I'm good, I get what I pray for. If I'm not good, I don't get it until I'm good again."

Maybe I'm simplifying this, but if Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane was based on that system, the Father would have said, "Jesus, you're the ultimate good - you're Me, for crying out loud. So of course - yes." But instead it was burden trading... the Son sharing His burden, the Father sharing His, and the two (or three) agreeing the proper context for both to exist... namely, that context meaning Jesus carrying a cross to rescue us versus feeling rescued Himself.

I know your question isn't merely theological. I know that there are aches inside of you that (like Psalm 137) inspire, or rather "despire" you to "hang up your harps" of praise.

Maybe that's why C.S. Lewis wrote in the Screwtape Letters the perspective of one demon to another:

"Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

---

Will you join me in praying for my friend and his family... for their prayers?

prayers for 2008

Taking a cue from the challenge I just posted about, here are my prayers for 2008...

Dear God –

• Cause me to be uncomfortable with comfort.
• Create in me a love for those I say I love but don't show love to.
• Kick my tail when I think "someone else will do it."
• Deepen my understanding of You and my obedience to You.
• Help me to lead a person to You everyday, and then please do Your thing.
• Show me how to help Christians around me become fully-devoted disciples.
• Protect the relationships in my household with Your sticky bond of love.
• And (gulp) bless me and your Church in the new year according to our faithfulness to You!

As this plays out...

For myself…

• May my heart become pure… that I might fall completely in love with my You.
• May my mind become redeemed… that I might become completely in tune with Truth.
• May my soul become navigational… that I might completely live out of a Divine overflow.
• May my body become healthier… that I might completely live out the fullness of my years.

For my wife…

• May her love for You deepen each day and contagiously bless others.
• May her mind be a place full of wisdom and wonder that supplies the words she speaks.
• May her worship of You be complete – from the everyday moments to the special ones.
• May her health increase in all the right ways as we enjoy growing old together.

For my boys…

• May their individual passions develop in ways that add to Your kingdom/world and their lives.
• May their thought lives be shaped by Your hand and Your hand alone.
• May their relationship with You remain powerfully innocent and ripple into their generation.
• May their physical lives be directed by their spiritual lives (and not vice-versa).

For Connection Church…

• May I be a servant-leader who is faithful to the tilt, inspiring the lead team to do the same.
• May you raise up more leaders who can take on roles that will help us fulfill Your vision.
• May new faces be celebrated, salvations occur daily, discipleship happen constantly, relationships deepen always, finances overflow regularly, volunteers be available constantly, and everyone fulfill their calling completely.
• May we more fully reveal what it means to BE the Church.

For the world…

• May Medina become a place where the next great spiritual awakening occurs.
• May Ohio become filled with new Christians and guided by seasoned ones.
• May America elect a President who listens to You, lives for You, and will follow Your ideals publicly and privately.
• May the world finally collide with heaven so that we can all see You face to face again.

awe-some

So first, last week I was "in awe of God..."

then over the weekend, I found myself "still in awe of God..."

As of tonight?

Tonight I realized He's even bigger than I thought, and so now I am "picking my jaw up off the floor because I am beyond being in awe of God but am notably even more aware how small I am in the glimpse of how large He continues to be and yet stoops down to leave breadcrumb trails for me to follow into something absolutely amazing and already these words are falling short so I should just stop now and hopefully say nothing more to ruin the purity of this moment."

And that's all I have to say about that.

you asked for it: prayer and broken hope

So here goes... the first in a series called "You Asked For It." I'd like to begin with the topic that started the original post - my buddy Scott asked for my thoughts in a blog on the topic of unanswered prayer and broken hope. Here's today's offering...


About a year ago I found myself chatting with my wife about the topic of God seemingly not answering our prayers. As we sat in the kitchen of the house we were renting at the time, we somehow managed to have this serious conversation in the midst of her homeschooling our five-year-old as well as working part-time for Panera Bread and me working 20 hours/wk at the Boys & Girls Club, 10 hours/wk for a church I was regularly doing interim preaching for, 10 hrs/wk for the Kalamazoo Gazette, 20 hrs/wk writing for Sonlife, and the whole business of looking for a full-time job in the process (which is a full-time job in itself). It was this business that brought up the topic of prayer.

Person 1: "Does God even hear our prayers anymore?"

Person 2: "What do you mean?"

Person 1: "Why hasn't He answered our prayers yet?

Person 2: "How do you know He hasn't?"

Person 1: "What do you mean?"

Person 2: "We have no idea how our life would be different if we weren't praying."

Person 1: "I still don't know what you mean."

Person 2: "We keep wanting God to answer our prayers with a final answer, but what if he's been answering our prayers with short-term answers? Like how pray all the time for God to provide for us, and somehow we're in this house and are able to work."

Person 1: "So you're saying that none of that might have even happened if we hadn't been praying in the first place?"

Person 2: "I'm saying I don't know how God chooses to respond to our prayers, but just because the big answer hasn't happened yet it doesn't mean that our current set of circumstances aren't any less an answer to prayer. If we hadn't been praying all this time maybe we'd be somewhere else with a whole different set of circumstances."

And it was in that conversation that my thoughts on prayer became larger than the singular way I'd often thought about it. I'd heard (as you may have) that "God always answers prayer, and sometimes it's with a 'yes' and sometimes it's with a 'no.'" I do believe that, but I also think sometimes God answers prayer with a response of, "That reminds me of something totally unrelated that I'd like to put into your life."


Three examples from the life of Paul:

• God says "YES": Paul is in prison and the believers pray for his release - and suddenly he is released through the divine intervention of an earthquake. (Acts 16)
  
  
• God says "NO": Paul is struggling with "something" and asks God to remove it from him... but the Lord refuses. (2 Corinthians 12)
  
  
• God says "THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING TOTALLY UNRELATED THAT I'D LIKE TO PUT INTO YOUR LIFE": Paul and Barnabas head into Jerusalem to tag-team some theological consulting to the church there. This goes well - slam dunk for the Team... God answers their prayers. Only some time later when they talk about a second tour they get into this debate about whether or not John-Mark should go with them. The situation never gets resolved, so they split - Barnabas and John-Mark become a team while Paul and Silas are the second dynamic duo. So while the original prayer and intent was for the church to receive the strengthening it needs, it gets that - now in the form of two groups of two instead of just one. The ministry of God doubles, even though it wasn't their intention... something divisive becomes something productive because God is involved, showing once again how He is up to things that involve us and yet are beyond us. (Acts 15)

So again - in the midst of "weird spots" in our life where God seems silent to our queries we may need to realize He is quite articulate - only He's providing an answer to a question we haven't yet figured out we're supposed to ask.

Back to a year ago, I truly believed God had led me and my family to the city of Portage, Michigan to plant a church. I never did get a tax ID for the thing or have the first public service of a local church, but we sure did join God in loving people their next steps into this Kingdom. This includes at least four families who are now plugged into God's family who weren't before, as well as some pretty cool connections through my part-time jobs that allowed the Church at large to get resourced and inspired. I think of Eddie, Jared, Lavelle, Mark, Beth, Adolfo, Christine, Cory, Kelly, Aaron, and many others... so just because things didn't turn out the way I'd prayed, doesn't mean things didn't turn out the way I'd prayed.

Yes, I wrote it that way on purpose - read that again.

Here are four brief journal entries of mine during that season of 2006:

• 5/28: There is an amazing church in our community that I really see great potential in. What does that mean for our church plant? Are we supposed to just join them in their thing or become partners through us doing our thing? And is it really anyone's thing other than the Lord's?
  
  
• 5/29: A church plant from the ground up at this season of life would be detrimental to my family. It's a no-brainer not to do it. Also, it's amazing how whenever my wife and I watch the season ending episodes of The Apprentice we discover things related to my profession. Two years ago I got the boot out of youth ministry; last year I found out a church in Wisconsin I was one of the final candidates for and hoped to go to picked someone else over me; this year it's this paradigm shift. Maybe I should go work for Trump... maybe I already have.
  
  
• 5/30: It's awesome to see my wife heal.
  
  
• 5/31: God has saved me not for anything I've done or will do but because of his grace and purpose.

In hindsight, I see it all so clearly now. But then... not so much. Let's just say I have a much greater respect for what I don't know than what I do, and that includes how God is answering prayers I haven't yet even realized I've already unconsciously prayed a novel's worth about.

So I'm not sure if I've answered the question, Scott... but that's my best swing at prayer today utilizing my past, present, and future context. Let me know what else we should explore on this matter.

reviewing sabbath: reconnection?

So here I was... somewhere about five or six days into my Sabbatical.

Frustrated.

Angry.

Exhausted.

Short in my spirit.

I'd debated with different people over different topics... some it was related to my mom's stuff, while other discussions were about other kinds of hoopla.

I'd tried to reinvest myself back into my marriage... back into my boys... back into stuff around the house... back into the pile of papers that somehow hides my desk.

I'd done some intentional research on topics we need to address as a church... things that I couldn't seem to get fully around even as hard as I tried.

I'd found that even my amazing neighborhood began to drain me... somehow making another connection didn't sound like fun.

So God and I had a very deep conversation that went like this:

Me: "God... what the heck?"

(Yes, that was it. Trust me, that's more deeply theological than it reads.)

Interestingly enough, I kind of had the sense that there was a reply. I know, I know... to say that God speaks back always sounds like the ravings of a crazy man. After all, we've become quite comfortable with praying one-sided prayers and giving God a "pass" (because our intellect "knows" that He won't respond).

But if you believe me, here's what God "said."

God: "Tony... what the heck?"

I wasn't quite sure what to do with that.

That is, until an intriguing book arrived in the mail.

More in the next post.