His name is I AM

I've known the fear. Maybe you have, too.

The one that wakes you up some days and makes you feel like "I'll bet you today will be the day that the bottom just drops out."

Life can mess you up sometimes. It can make you nearsighted.

All the stress, and trials, and hardships that come along… it can be rough and overbearing and cause us to only see the problems in front of us.

And not the perspective beyond us.

"My family is a mess."

"Work takes everything out of me."

"My ex keeps causing problems for me."

"My kids don’t listen."

"My parents are burdening me with all their problems."

"I can't get out of reach of everyone else and all of their desires for my life."

You ever have a run like that? I know I have. Same fears, different dialogue.

Sometimes all we can see in this life is our own problems.

But think of this.

On those days when all you can perceive is the chaos - when life seems too much to take - what if there is more? What if there is a perspective beyond what you can see?

Our God is a great and powerful God who knows what you’re going through, is able to meet that need, and is right there with you.

His name is "I AM."

Just look at the vastness of His creation. When your problems get too big to take, just consider how intricate and intelligent everything is.

• How certain bugs exist to eat other bugs which exist to eat certain things that keep us healthy.
  
  
• Or how our bodies are able to take what we eat and turn the good parts into human tissue and get rid of the bad parts.
  
  
• Or how life can appear when science says it can't, doctors say there is no hope, and hope says all is lost.
  
  
• Or how the position of the earth and moon and sun are so precise that even the slightest percentage of difference would cause crazy ripples, and yet somehow they are held together.
  
  
• And right now – as you consider all of this and decide if you want to receive it or debate it – you have a complex brain that is working in ways you can't even fathom... where did that brain come from? Who created it so unique and complex?

His name is "I AM."

He knows every star and every planet and every constellation… and He knows you by name.
Can you imagine? In comparison to the size of this universe we know of, we are less than insignificant... we are seen and known and understood and loved.

Loved by Him.

His name is "I AM."

We are not even as bright as the sun or as large as a galaxy, and yet the Great God of the universe knows us… cares for us… loves us.

Do you get that?

So why do we doubt? Why do we fear? Why don’t we trust that God can provide for us as He always has for His people?

A man named Louie Giglio once put it this way - "I am not, but I know I AM." That's a great line... because when we are feeling like we're "not," we know the One who is.

Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " (Exodus 3:13-14)

A poet named Helen Mallicoat described it in her own words this way:

I was regretting the past
and fearing the future.

Suddenly, my Lord
was speaking.
He paused.
I waited.
He continued:

"When you
live in the past,
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard.
I am
not there.
My name is not - I WAS.

When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard.
I am not there.
My name
is not - I WILL BE.

When you live in this moment,
It is not hard.
I am here.
My name is I AM."

Whatever happens, He's got our back... and our front... because He has our "now."

It may not feel that way. You may be angry with God. Again, I know this one, too. Same anger, different dialogue.

I've learned, though, that it is possible to use the struggles in life to look for God in ways that the joys distract us from. I've also found that when you do, the joys take on a much deeper meaning.

Jesus is our Savior, and He continued this“I AM” dialogye when He made declarative statements about His identity. Which of these do you most need to claim right now?

• "I am the bread of life." (Do you feel hungry for a satisfying life?)
  


• "I am the light of the world." (Do you feel like you're in the dark?)
  


• "I am the door for the sheep." (Do you wonder which way you should go?)
  


• "I am the good shepherd." (Do you wonder who will guide you?)
  


• "I am the resurrection and the life." (Do you need a touch of the supernatural to bring your deadness into a fully-alive existence?)
  


• "I am the way, the truth, and the life." (Do you tire of opinions ruling the world in lieu of something greater?)
  


• "I am the true vine." (Do you yearn for a constant supply of healthy nourishment that will cause you to actually bear fruit?)

Wondering where to find all of this?

His name is I AM.

nywc: atlanta - day three, part 3

Here are my notes from Louie Giglio's talk:

• We are a part of a prevailing Kingdom. Jesus said, "I'm going to build My church... hell itself will not stop me." Note that He didn't say He will build our churches, but His Church. When we take part in Christ, we take part in an unstoppable mission.


• Simultaneous to prevailing means living in a reality where heaven and earth and hell collide... while we do have victory, sometimes life hurts. God essentially says, "When my reality and your reality connect you will have peace."


• John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."


• Interesting timing here... for Jesus had not yet conquered death at the cross. What does this mean when He says it?


• People usually see the world one of two ways... "Life is hard, so get used to it" or "Being a Christian is smooth sailing if you just claim power against the evil." There is instead of these an overlapping reality of Jesus ruling over all things, using even the backward and broken to allow the good and the graceful to happen.


• Saying "God does everything for a reason" and "You just have to trust God" can only go so far... they are true statements, but we have to acknowledge that life hurts, too.


• The cross mashes freewill and sovereignty together. On the day that the people freed Barabbas instead of Jesus, it looked like freewill hijacked the day. Not so, for a God who operates within and yet transcendent of time used the choice of man to bring about His ultimate desire of redemption and Trinitarian glory.


• The cross proves that God can use the greatest evil for the greatest good... the cross tells us God loves us.


• The perspective of God gives us hope to look at something tragic and see its beauty - God says we can give Him the worst tragedy in the world and watch Him lift it up to something beautiful.

Louie then closed by sharing a story of a girl far from God who came to trust in Him as Lord and Savior during her last year of college. Along the way of coming up to graduation, she lost her life in a tragic car accident. While her divorced parents differ in how they see faith, her mom (who is also a Christ-follower) forwarded emails her daughter and Louie exchanged on to her husband. Her husband, an atheist, wrote Louie and said that while he disagreed with the idea of faith he appreciated watching who his daughter had become before she died. He and Louie are still exchanging emails, and while there is no tidy bow on the end of this story... it is anchored in the cross - even if the dad doesn't know it yet.

nywc: atlanta - day three, part 2

First, an observation...

I have noticed that when people are in a crowd like the one we're in, there is some pressure to dance. The artists are known to say things like, "Alright, ya'all... I want to see everyone in this room up on their feet and when I say 'dookie dookie' you need to jump on up." Thanks, but I'm at the stage in life when I get to decide what to do on 'dookie dookie,' but I'm also still young enough to vertical dance/jump up when that's what feels like the right thing to do in such a 'dookie dookie' moment.

That's not the observation, though. The real observation is the people who try to actually do the vertical dance/jump during these times.

• The rookie: This is often someone dressed in a shirt with a collar. Male or female, you can tell they came to the event to take notes and not to vertical dance/jump up during 'dookie dookie.' Their jumping is usually cautious, and after about three or four attempts up and down, they stop to evaluate how they're doing, recalibrate with the crowd, then try three or four more and repeat the process.
  


• The charismatic: This individual is a bit dangerous... makes people around them afraid to take their eyes off of them. If they had their way, they'd give him five feet all to himself. But they can't... so they don't... and they are afraid... very afraid... of being stomped on.
  


• The arm-folder: This is that guy or gal who refuses to vertical dance/jump up during 'dookie dookie' but still goes into the front area where everyone is gathered who wants to jump dance during 'dookie dookie' - and I find this amazingly confusing.
  


• The punker: This title doesn't mean to imply the person is a punk rocker, but rather they have a barbaric way about them in jump dancing. You can tell if they really wanted to they could go pro and win some trophies for the energy they put into the deal... if only it was an Olympic sport.

Now, an overview...

• Brent Longenecker (entertainment): I can do that... I just don't want to.
  


• Jeff Allen (comedian): This guy cracks me up... he's like a funny Tim Allen... who just woke up.
  


• Bill Arnold (comedian): Nice... nice... not thrilling, but nice.
  
  
• Family Force Five (music): I have to laugh... I just do. I don't know if it's a Christian Kid Rock concert or simply a joke I'll never get. These guys have talent - don't get me wrong. What they do with it, though, blows the mind. I had to use the restroom during this part... they sound amazing from the stalls.
  
  
• Michelle (Compassion International): Wow... I had no idea. I believe I must do something about this... to see someone be blessed by this ministry AND open a school of the arts to minister in her country AND now sponsor a child of her own? To see what God is doing in and through this gal's life blew me away. I sat close to her, too... watching her worship was life-enlarging.
  


• Louie Giglio (speaker): How does he flippin' do it? Every year Louie puts a message together just for me. Only this year I took it in differently... I'll write more on this later, but let me just affirm our God is good. Notes coming later.
  


• Chris Tomlin (lead worship): Tomlin following Louie goes together just like Kibbles and Bits... or something like that. Afterward. Jesse from the band hung out with our church's lead worshipper Mike - they had a cool cat chat about this and that.

a day in the life of me: ash wednesday

It's interesting how in one day so many things can happen.

I meet with the different staff people I do life and ministry with three times a month collectively and on a bi-weekly basis individually. One of those one-on-one times involves me meeting with our worship leader Mike at a local grocery story called Buehler's, a very unique store that has everything from an outside conveyor belt for your groceries to be picked up once you buy them to a child care facility while you shop. They also have a restaurant inside, and so that's where we grab grub every other week. Yesterday we spent a good chunk of time figuring out some ideas for services and got some good work done.

Since the store does have so much, I planned on buying some leaves via the floral departent (after my breakfast) to use for a small Ash Wednesday opportunity we were going to offer our church. The only problem is that when I went over to the floral department, I quickly learned from all the employees that the leaves I was going to buy don't burn... they smoke (which is a bad habit, I think, for leaves). They quickly told me I should go to the local Hobby Lobby to buy some dried leaves, and so I left.

Keep in mind that I had exactly 60 minutes at this point until my mini-service at a local Panera Bread (because we don't have weekday meeting space for our church).

As a side note, next month our church is doing a series called "Heroes," a chance for us to examine the heroes of our culture and the heroes of the Bible in order to understand the great role we get to play in God's world. I'd checked out a whole bunch of CDs from the library on applicable movies and TV shows, one of which was the soundtrack to the show "24." It just happened to be in the player as I drove around town, and so suddenly I found myself feeling a little Jack Bauer-ish as the clock kept ticking and the music set the pace.

Taking a clue from Jack, I grabbed by cell phone to call Chloe. Er, I mean... the local Catholic churches in town. I figured if anyone would have some extra ash, it'd be them.

First call:

"Hello, this is Father ________ from St. _________ ________."

"Hi there! My name is Tony Myles and I'm a local pastor in town. This is kind of an odd request, but I was wondering if you could spare some of your materials for Ash Wednesday. I'm doing a small thing for some of my people in just a little bit."

"Oh, no I really can't. I have two more services to do and am already running out."

"Oh, no problem. Thanks for your time."

"Try Holy _______ - they usually have some extra ashes."

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

Second call:

"Hi there! My name is Tony Myles and I'm a local pastor in town. This is kind of an odd request, but I was wondering if you could spare some of your materials for Ash Wednesday. I'm doing a small thing for some of my people in just a little bit."

"Oh, I see... well, we do have a lot but unfortunately the father isn't here right now to approve it. I'd like to help, because we have a lot to spare. I just can't without his permission."

"No problem."

"You should try the religious store off I71 - it's about a half hour away."

"Thanks, but I probably couldn't make it in time."

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

I made it to Hobby Lobby and walked around 10 minutes before finding the dried floral area. There were two leafy products - basil and something else. I went with the "something else," because I figured too many people would know what basil smelled like and it would be a distraction. Quickly snagging a pot that looked like it was made in the first century (which they all do at Hobby Lobby), I hopped into line. The conversation in front of me went like this:

Customer lady: "Oh... I think... this might be on sale...."

Checkout lady: "Yes... I think... it is... let's see...

Customer lady: "It's... in one of... the aisles... in the back,.."

Chekout lady: "Maybe... yeah... maybe... maybe... I should call someone... yeah... I think I'll call someone..."

Customer lady: "Oh... you're going to call... someone?"

Checkout lady: "I think I should... don't you think I should... call someone?"

Customer lady: "Can't you... find it in the ad?"

Checkout lady: "Well... I looked... do you want to look? Maybe if you look... you know... you'll find it...

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

By the time I got out of the store, I had 15 minutes left with the music from 24 swirling in my head. Now I had to find a place to burn some leaves.

Yes... I know how that sounds.

I found the back alley of a nearby storefront that I hopped out to play with fire. Thankfully, I had a clicker lighter and a small bottle of olive oil handy (that eventually helps the ashes become the mixture it's supposed to) for this moment. Yet as I tried to light the dried leaves, they only turned black.

Black... no ash.

Meanwhile, I smelled smoke elsewhere. Turns out someone was smoking a cigarette out of the back door of their store. I'd never see a face - just a little hand would pop out a little cigarette out a little crack, occasionally adding an exhale of smoke. I wondered which looked more odd... this display of a secret addiction or me, hunched over by my mini-van with a first century piece of potter, trying to light some leaves on fire with a clicker lighter, with a bottle of olive oil nearby that the passerby would assume had some unique role in all of this.

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

Time ran out.. no ash... just black leaves. So I drove to the nearby Panera and went into the room and waited.

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

11:30am... no one. This is when it started.

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

11:35am... still no one. "Hmm... maybe no one is coming... maybe I won't look so foolish."

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

11:40am... "I'm definitely in the clear here."

Clock: - Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick -

11: 43am... a van pulls up. "Busted."

We had four of us altogether in that room... I gave them the option to go to the local Catholic church for the real deal or to stay for an olive oil only annointing. They stayed... it was pretty awesome, too.

Afterward I boogied over to meet another local pastor for lunch. He treated... it was Chinese... it was good. I learned a lot from him about the area in that chat, and I think made a new friend. I'm all about co-laboring with other churches in town, so this was a very cool move over two hours of chow (but not chow mein).

I headed home, did a piece of writing, and took care of an email from someone who thinks Ash Wednesday is something we shouldn't dabble with because it's "Catholic" (his opinion), I shared a bit about how Jesus busted through religious boxes and how we need to redeem all things, too, and then helped get some things ready around the house for the babysitter coming. My wife and I were joining most of our staff for a concert in nearby Cleveland... we saw Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Louie Giglio on the Indescribable tour.

If you haven't heard Louie's talk on this, you really should check it out. It was a full concert, and so when we got back it was around 11pm. On the way I realized I'd forgotten to tape LOST and was very thankful that ABC lets you watch them online for free. My wife and I chatted quite a bit about how small we are, how blessed we've become, and the humility of doing life with people instead of gutting it out on our own.

I've mentioned this before, but the song "Blessed Be Your Name" has had healing value in my family's life over the past two years. As my wife and I sang it tonight, we realized how freeing it is to sing that song on the upside when you've been in the downside. I don't know how that sounds to you, because maybe you're in that downside right now. But for us - having just come out of it - it makes the upside a big more humbling than when you live life with a sense of entitlement.

This is my favorite picture of the day... a row of people - some staff, some their spouses - that I get to be sharpened by as we love people forward toward Jesus Christ. Coming from where I've been to where I am now, I am so floored by the grace of God who holds us all together.

It's a bit awkward at times, especially when I wonder how long the good times will last and if I should be waiting for the whole thing to burn down.

And yet I was reminded on this day that sometimes things don't burn away to ashes... even when you try.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." (Romans 11:36)

NYWC - restrospective - general session 5

The continuing retrospective of adventures involving Tanner (a.k.a. Scott), Scrammy (a.k.a. Brian), God (a.k.a. I AM), and me (a.k.a. I AM not) during our NYWC weekend.

General Session #5:

After racing upstairs from Tony Campolo's seminar, I walked in on the puppet show...

• Taylor Mason: It's fun to watch puppets... but I actually think it's funnier to watch people who think it's fun to watch puppets. Taylor had some great interaction with the people and even brought up a few volunteers (including some stooge that I'd bet was a set-up - because everyone knows youth workers aren't weird like that).
  
  
• Jeff Johnson: I don't know if the goal of Jeff's neo-classical/Celtic music is to relax you to sleep, but for the second year in a row I found myself on the verge of snoozing after listening to him. And I mean this in a good way - it's like the peace of God invades the noise of your life and you just find yourself undistracted in a way that makes sense. It wasn't until one of his last songs that I felt engaged in any particular direction. In this case, it was a song based on a prayer of Francis of Assisi, followed by the Doxology.
  
  
• Ted & Lee: Another round of teaching via drama... great stuff. This sketch focused on the promise given to Abram that God would bless him and his offspring to be as numerous as the stars in the sky.
  
  
• Louie Giglio: If you haven't hear Louie speak before, well... you're missing out. This was one talk that I was ready for... even though my body had fallen asleep. Thankfully, Louie had us stand up and sit down right at the start just to get the blood flowing. Hmm... a nice tip there for any speakers who tend to follow Celtic worship. Louie's message focused on WORSHIP (what else?) with a cool spin on it by following the evolution of the different worship styles of the past century.
• Leadership can be taken away from us through others. But what can't be taken away is a decision to live... to really LIVE through God. The question isn't if you're going to lead... the question is if you're going to live.
• "For I am already being poured out like a drink offering..." Paul had the privilege of recognizing the end and found joy nonetheless.
• The evolution of twenty-century worship:
• Hymn worship became Chorus worship: This was considered a wild concept when it first came on the scene.
• Chorus worship became Blended worship: A blended service is one where no one is happy.
• Blended worship became Contemporary worship: People starting looking for a new song to sing to God.
• Contemporary worship became Cutting-edge worship: Delirious came on the scene.
• Cutting-edge worship became Modern worship: The modern worship movement probably "knocked God off the throne," eh? We probably gave God a big "wow" with out creativity, huh? Where do we think we got the songs? Perhaps the reality is that they just got tired of singing Forever in heaven and gave it to us.
• Modern worship became Post-modern worship: Whatever that means.
• Post-modern worship became Ancient-future worship: We rediscovered our hymns again.
• Ancient-future worship became Neo-classical worship
• Neo-classical worship became Emerging worship: "Which I guess means that if we wait just a little bit longer... we're going to have WORSHIP! I hope I live long enough for that... because I hear worship is 'emerging'."
• Is it possible that we have outsmarted ourselves and somewhere in the conversation we have lost the simplicity of what worship is all about?
• Worship is "me in His hands and my life in His plans." It's not something we consume... it's something that consumes us.
• People who sit around and muse about their likes and dislikes of church services are spending/wasting their time on beautifying an insider's club instead of fighting the war for lost people outside the building.
• Consumer worship vs. Consume-Me Worship:
• Consumer: What you get - Comsume-me: What you give
• Consumer: What you buy - Consume-me: You have been bought
• Consumer: Downloading - Consume-me: Bowing down
• Consumer: Style - Consume-me: Surrender
• Consumer: Enjoyable - Consume-me: Costly
• Consumer: My preferences - Consume-me: Concern about what God requires
• Consumer: Feel good - Consume-me: Hurts good
• Consumer: We use up the songs - Consume-me: God uses up the singer
• Consumer: My choice - Consume-me: His will
• Consumer: Can't get enough - Consume-me: Always want to give more
• Consumer: About trends - Consume-me: About eternity
• Consumer: Our happiness - Consume-me: Desire to bring happiness to God
• Consumer: About me - Consume-me: Me about God
• We must never forget that it's an amazingly terrifying thing to be in the hands of God. And what we sign up for is a scary thing, too, to say "Whatever you want, Lord."
• If you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.
• (Then Louie told the "Movie" story... I won't spoil it - but it was amazing)
• "And we will see our joys and sorrows working for Him in massive, massive chorus of glory. And that's the moment where you want to have been consumed and not have lived your whole life as a consumer. Because the One standing in our midst - Lamb slain, from before the foundation of the world, life poured out to death... for you."
• Closing Prayer: "Jesus, thank You. Simplify... in our hearts today. We do want to be relevant people, but more than anything I think every one of us in this building wants to live. And I'm just asking You, Holy Spirit, please... would you settle on our hearts this morning... to the end that we know that no one - no circumstance - can keep us from putting our lives in Your hands. Nobody can stop us from that. And NOTHING can keep You from using our lives in Your plans. Thank You, Jesus."
  
  
• Chris Tomlin: Chris is another one of my favorite lead worshippers and he literally piggy-backed off of Louie's talk to lead us another step into God. Chris started picking away in a quiet version of "The Heart Of Worship," with the full band coming in later with "Here I Am To Worship." Since this was our last session (meaning the guys and I had to leave before the official convention was over) we soaked it up for all it was worth.