a comment I wanted to share

Recently I addressed the topic of having a friend who is gay in one of our church gatherings. I spent several months researching and preparing for it, especially since it is the controversial topic many established and emerging theologians are wrestling with.

Today on Andrew Marin's blog, I read a conversation taking place regarding how different denominations are making policies on this matter. Below is a comment I made and wanted to share here as well.

To be sure that fly by comments don't take place, I've turned off the comment portion of this post. And if you're reading this on Facebook or another feeder, I'd ask that you not reply to where it appears. Rather, if you wish to connect and have a real conversation about it, email me at tonymyles@hotmail.com

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This is simply not an emotional issue... it is a spiritual issue.

Jesus said to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. In the next breath - or perhaps the same - He said to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

So much of this issue and the "gay" topic is often through the emotional lens only... as if we are trying to reason out a theology based on loving God with our heart, and our heart alone.

Yet Jesus said love the Lord your God with all of your heart... and your soul, mind and strength.

To be fair, others argue the issue with their "heart" and "mind" as well - trying to understand the context of this culture and that culture, research genetics, and so on.

Yet Jesus said love the Lord your God with all of your mind... and your heart, soul, and strength.

Then there are the "strength" theologians - if they are theologians. The louder they can make their argument, the better... they think.

Yet Jesus said love the Lord your God with all of your strength... and your heart, soul, and mind.

What about the soul, though? Why does that often get the short end of the stick in this conversation?

The soul.

Maybe because it's the part that is the most supernatural, and since we think we're talking about trying to understand if someone who identifies themselves as gay is making a "natural" or an "unnatural" distinction... we forget to factor in the supernatural.

The soul... that piece of us that occasionally has an Isaiah 6 moment where we stand before a Holy God and cry out, "WOE IS ME! I AM RUINED! FOR I AM A MAN OF UNCLEAN LIPS, AND I LIVE AMONG A PEOPLE OF UNCLEAN LIPS, AND MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE KING, THE LORD ALMIGHTY!"

You know those moments?

How often do we enter those moments *before* we have a conversation on this topic?

Perhaps the problem is we feel so deeply on one side or the other that we forget the heart isn't the only way we need to approach this topic.

Or we think so well and have so much study underneath our belt that we have become builders of our own Babel... I mean, babble.

Maybe we are so strong vocally and have enough James Brown-esque back-up singers behind us saying, "YEAH!" and "YEAH!" and "YEAH!" that we think we're right, whatever we're saying.

I am not saying approaching God through our soul is ever at the expense of those three, but I am saying the other three are never at the expense of standing before a holy God, feeling small, and attempting to understand something so awesome and amazing as who He is and who we are because of who He is.

Never... never... the other way around.

Yes, feelers... I know that you feel so strongly about it that "God must have put it in you." Don't miss the point.

Yes, thinkers... I know that some Greeks and the Jews viewed the "soul" through a certain lens that is different than we do today... don't miss the point.

Yes, strengtheners... I know that there are "righteous things" to fight for and fight about. Don't miss the point.

May we never, though, create theology of of only these three (or blindly accept what our denominations have decided without the willingness to have a "lover's quarrel" about it).

May we instead always seek to *discover* theology... on this matter and others... which is only possible when we allow the soul to engage as it is designed.

Because if we do... I get the sense "loving our neighbor as we love ourselves" will be the very next breath... or perhaps the same.

speaking of Christians

I had an intriguing lunch this past week with someone in our church. Not only was the food great, but we even got to sit outside on the patio of the restaurant and enjoy the sun. More importantly, though, we chewed on more than good Mexican food - we chewed on things that really matter.

And some of those things included you.

Granted, your name wasn't mentioned, but the concept of "Christians in general" was. Maybe you know what I mean - we do this all the time when we're trying to wrestle with a concept and need to illustrate how a group of people generally interact with it. Maybe something like this has come out of your mouth even today:

• Something positive: "Businesses need to be friendlier. Kind of like how at Chick-Fil-A they're always saying, 'It would be my pleasure' at whatever request you give them. Our company is sort of friendly like that."
  
  
• Something negative: "I'm so tired of people just doing what they do for a paycheck. The other day I was in a store and it seemed like every employee could care less at my questions about where stuff was. It made want to leave. People like that drive me crazy."

Get the picture? We so often like to muse about other people, don't we?

So if you were to take part in a conversation about "Christians in general," what sort of statements do you think you would drift to - the positive or the negative?

Let me give you a couple of topics:

• Bible reading: How would you generalize how the average Christian handles or doesn't handle the Bible?
  
  
• Relationships: Would you say that Christians do a good job at reconciling tensions with others they've had an issue with or are they more quick to avoid having the hard, cleansing conversation?
  
  
• Sharing their faith: What kind of statements might you make about the frequency and quality Christians put into talking about the thing they say they value most - a relationship with Jesus Christ?
  
  
• Church commitment: Would you summarize Christians as being truly committed to their local community of Christians, or would you say they are more consumers about it all - quick to leave if something or someone irritates them?
  
  
• Being real: What is more common in your experience - Christians who feel they need to put on a mask or those who can be the real deal and inspire others with their transparency?
  
  
• Clean slates: Are Christians ready and willing to give clean slates - or are they more willing to remember and look down their nose at others?
  
  
• Theological stretching: Would you say most Christians want to know the bare minimum or are they more interested in adding to their faith knowledge and practice?
  
  
• Open or closed hand: When they talk about following Jesus, would you say most Christians open their hands up to Him in every area of their lives or close their fists on a few things that they just want to keep asking Him for forgiveness on?
  

Maybe there are more categories to consider, but these were a few we touched base on.

Easy, right? We can all give our quick opinions on those topics.

Only that's not why I write this - here's the real conversation.

Before you utter your thoughts and comments about "them," consider what you're adding or subtracting to this generalization of Christians based on the way you live yourself. I mean, that's the real guts of all of this, isn't it?

As my buddy and I chatted, we found ourselves coming back to that anchor over and over - is the real issue what we think about other Christians, or is the real issue why we feel the need to think things about other Christians.

Is it for their security... or for our own?

Because we all like to feel like we're doing it right and everyone else is doing it wrong.

But what if that motive keeps us from ever asking if we're doing it right?

So first, your thoughts on yourself... and then your thoughts on "them."

I think that's how Jesus set it up (and why I think it will be hard to generate many comments on this post that actually follow that format).

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5)

nywc: inspirations from food

On the way home, I had the chance to hang out with my good buddies over Sonic food. This is a big deal, mainly because we don't have Sonic in our geographical area but see all the commercials. (There's something wrong with that, by the way)

Keep in mind, this menu is simple - burgers, chicken, fries, shakes, and the infamous flavored limeades. Yet for some reason it brough us together and we were all able to order off of it.

The day before I struggled with two other of my buddies - Scott and Brian - to find a place to eat. There are those times even with the best of friends when it's hard to scratch a hunger itch... Brian commented rather profoundly, "How in the world does the Trinity do it?"

Great thought there. We did find some good Italian food to sit down and chow down on... which I suppose is a heavenly statement in itself - good Italian food unites everyone.

Funny thing about food - it really can change your mood, and your life. For instance, I came back to the hotel one day and found a mint on my pillow. It's just a mint, but it made me happy to be thought of. I know, I know - everyone in the hotel got one, but I still felt special.

Then on the way out I connected with Matthew McNutt. Maybe you know his story - he was on the show The Biggest Loser and came in second place during one of the first few seasons of the show. As he freely shared, food has been a factor in his life on the positive and negative - and I simply admire the discipline he put into place to be sure from this point forward it was more for the positive.

In a weird way, we sort of depend on food too much in our world. It's nourishment, so we know we need it... but we place a lot of stake into whether or not we can eat what we want, the way we want it, and in the quantity we want to enjoy it in. Sometimes that yields positive consequences, and other times it doesn't - and we're ever the critic when it falls short.

I mean, who doesn't like to eat? And yet food was made for the body - not the body for food.

There are days I see this in other areas in the church or at a conference like this, too - "I liked that speaker" or "That band's style just doesn't do it for me." And for some odd reason our whole attitude gets affected... we fail to exercise contentment in some of the simplest areas. We simply forget to celebrate the opportunity to digest powerful things in practical ways.

So in hindsight, I just want to say how appreciative I've been on this convention experience. There have been some things I've been critical of in my spirit, and so by choice I've decided to celebrate the upside instead. I've chatted with folks about the "right" way to do certain things that are purely a preference... and likewise have celebrated the things that for some reason (I hear it's grace) good things happen.

In your life today, may you choose THANKS and GIVING. And along the way, may you find your life full and satisisfied with a taste of heaven... good to the last drop, with a chunk of real strawberries waiting for you at the bottom.

Oh, and thanks, YS.