the problem and the purpose of evil

I had one of "those dreams" last night.

It was the kind where the presence of evil is somehow present in the dream in a way that "petrifies" you in your dream... and I mean that literally - where you feel frozen up and powerless in the dream for a moment, if not more.

Over the years, my conscious mind has somehow learned to force its way into these unconscious moments. I find myself in my dream sputtering out the name of Jesus - even though it sometimes comes out "J-J-J-J-Jeeeesus."

Perhaps none of that matters, because it was only just a dream.

The thing is when I woke up I realized that with it being Good Friday how little I've considered the problem and purpose of evil in relationship to Jesus being on the Cross. I've certainly recognized His sacrifice this year, but I haven't considered with any weight how much God's adversary was involved in that day.

Theologically, I know all this. 

Personally, I've overlooked it.

That's when I recalled the eyebrow-less representation of Satan as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ... the ending of this scene still gives me encouragement.

There is a problem with evil in our world... even though it can also serve a purpose. The same is true of pain and wounds.

In Eden, God poured out His love by pouring life into humanity.

On the Cross, God poured out His love by pouring out His life.

God made Adam's wife Eve from a wound in his side. 

The Church ("Bride of Christ") was made from
a wound in the side of the second Adam, Jesus.

The same is true of the Cross:

It proclaims God will let
one thing die to bring Life into everything. 

When God seems to be killing us, 
He's actually saving us. 

This is the problem and the purpose of evil.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)

"...and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

"Jesus said, 'It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." (John 19:30)

P.S. If you're local to me, join us at Connection Church at walking through this tonight:  http://www.connectionchurch.org/easter

ten things for ten people who won't listen

Maybe you've seen it on a Facebook - a challenge to write ten things you haven't said to ten people (without mentioning their names).

Only... this is a difficult challenge for me since I tend to already be intentional and real in my relationships.  This means means I've probably already said it, even if not everyone wanted to respond to such conversation.

Some people in your life that you really want to work things out with will pretend like they can't hear you; or when you ask someone to take a step forward in the friendship, they may seem to want to keep it surface level; other times you may try to help someone see a blind spot, but they'd rather not see it at all.

So my hurdle isn't in saying it, but in having the people I say it to actually listen.  As a way to offload some of that frustration bottled up, I'm sharing it here and keeping the names anonymous... no need to turn this into a rant of gossip. But in sharing it I want you to understand a slice of my life that I can't seem to overcome, no matter how productive I attempt to be with others.

And by the way... I'm not giving up, even if the people I'm writing to seem to have for now.  While I can't control their response, I can control my initiative. 

Here is my list::

• "Please... stop hinting. Just say it.  If you need something, say it once in an upfront way instead of 10 times a tenth of the way.  A lot of people around you would respond if you wouldn't dance around your needs or desires but simply and clearly ask."
  
   
• "Seriously, what happened? One day we were friends, and then suddenly you stopped returning my phone calls and emails, and are all aloof like nothing changed. Um... I don't get it.  You do remember we did hang out, and now we surprisingly don't, right? I'm okay if you don't want to hang out anymore, but please - show some maturity and have a conversation about it."
  
  
  
• "You have some great thoughts to share with the world, but the way you're doing it is preventing anyone from giving you any credibility.  And instead of seeing that and changing that, you seem to want to just turn up the volume.  I want to help you with this."
  
   
• "I can't do this alone.  Please don't assume I can.  It's way too important."
  
   
• "I need you to ask me how I'm doing in this area I want to grow in.  Will you do that?"
  
   
• "It breaks my heart that you have settled into a life that looks amazing from the outside but is full of gaps on the inside.  You have such a shield up, and while you may lower it at times you never do move it aside.  And you really are missing out on how much larger life is, but the shine of your stuff and household activity keeps you from paying attention."
  
   
• "I know what's really going on, and I know you'd like me to pretend that I don't.  So we can either play this game or we can admit that something is going on and start talking about what's next."
  
   
• "It's time... time for you to step up... time for you to lead those around you instead of letting them lead you. If you did this, and didn't give up, what would happen out of your life would be nothing short of amazing for everyone.  But in the meantime... it isn't."
  
   
• "You know that forgiveness you want when you hurt people on purpose or on accident?  You need to give that, especially to ______________.  I know you don't want to, because you think it's more productive to hold on to your pain.  But if you don't let that pain go it's going to poison you with bitterness and blindness.  Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting - it means that what happened doesn't have to have the final say.  Don't let your pain define you... let it refine you."
  
   
• "No. You're wrong."
  
  
  

Admittedly, I kind of laughed writing that last one because it's offensive in our world to say that.  We've gotten so used to everyone having an opinion that words like "right" and "wrong" have become discarded or redefined.  We say, "Let's agree to disagree" instead of "Let's agree to figure out what truly is right and wrong and be sure we both respond to that, even if it's uncomfortable."

Anyway... thanks for letting me share.  Like I said earlier, there is nothing subversive about this statements - if I needed to share it with you, you've already heard me say it.  If something resonated here, maybe it was the first time you've "caught" what I meant - or maybe it wasn't intended for you at all but what I wrote to someone else could be used as a tool in your life. 

But I did write it because... well... what if someone hasn't shared with you yet the things on their heart?

And if they did... would you respond or withdraw?

Interact or avoid? 

Grow forward or regress backward?

If we have something to work on together, let's work on it.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (Proverbs 27:6)

when it's hardest

I have learned, and continue to learn, that sometimes the hardest moments are not when you have done wrong, but when you have done right and believe you have been labeled by others as having done wrong.

You can be confident that all that you've done is correct and track with God. There can be a thousand voices around you affirming the same, telling you that you have acted and chosen what is right. And yet when one voice tells you otherwise, it can drive you crazy wondering what happened.

Again, you didn't do anything wrong. You know this.

And yet this means nothing to the chaos internally and externally.

One thing to look forward to about standing before God? All the masks and games disintegrate.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Cor 13:12)

slow ride... take it easy

Time passes differently for everyone.

"Bart's" phone doesn't ring as often as he'd like it to. After seven months of unemployment, he's heard all the cliches from his well-meaning friends, and they no longer feel comfortable being around him because nothing has changed in his life. He wonders, "Do they think I'm lazy?" They wonder, "I wonder if he thinks that I think he's lazy."

Bart looks at the phone and counts the milliseconds in between rings... which barely come.

His friends look at the phone, flip it open, and continue on with life.

Time passes differently for everyone.

Then there is "Sara" who is itching for graduation. She's not sure what's exactly happening after she gets her diploma, but she knows that it will be "better" than how things are now. At least she hopes so, for right now she is swamped with a to do list that she's quite convinced will change once she's in the real world.

So she turns all her papers in, and all of her teachers receive them. They sigh as they do, knowing that Sara's paper is but one of many that they will have to read. Each educator longs for the days when they were in school and had all sorts of time to kill... at least, it seems that way in their memories. Life in the real world seems a bit different than they thought it would.

Time passes differently for everyone.

"Art" is finding the current fiscal crisis to be more of a spiritual crisis "Where is God in this?" he wonders, "and why is this happening to me? I had my retirement all planned out. Now... nothing." He keeps watching the endless scribble of the Wall Street updates, trying to understand what seems like random computer code. So he relies on the explanation of others to tell him what he thinks he's seeing.

Which is what he does spiritually, too. He's too worn out to look for God himself, and so he keeps hoping someone will explain what he can't seem to see in his faith anymore. There are some in his life who are helpful in this, and others who only seem to add to the confusion... as if they just don't get how serious a crisis he's going through... as if they only see his crisis through 2-dimensional eyes.

Time passes differently for everyone.

How should we respond in these moments?

Most of us know the advice for such times when the clock doesn't tick as fast as we'd like is to just wait it out. Or write a better resume. Or network more. Or read a book on this or that. Or knock on more doors, and knock harder.

Or "just trust God."

(Notice the quotes - that indicates a cliche versus actually trusting in God, because if we actually trusted in God we wouldn't care if things turned out our way or not. Seriously, think about that for a moment.)

So where do we turn when none of those band-aids provide the surgery we need?

• First, we must recognize the temptations we face in times like this. When our confidence and self-esteem are attacked, we are in a dangerous spot of isolation - not necessarily shutting us down relationally in life (so we can still appear normal), but internally creating all sorts of fears in us that paralyze our ability to make choices. Sometimes we are so fatigued that we lash out at those closest. Most often, though, we wake up for our day already worn out... which can easily get in the way of us seeing what God is genuinely up to.
  
  Only we don't realize the true level of any of that on our own.
  
  
• Second, we may have to finally face up to some very practical challenges - such as not having enough money to pay the bills, meet our deadlines, or keep up with friends. It could be that we feel that we've done our part, but there is a small reserve of effort we've held back because we don't want to be disappointed. We may even find ourselves tempted not to take part in productive spiritual habits like prayer, Bible reading, and tithing.
  
  Isn't it odd how in times when we know we need to trust God more we hang on to the things that keep us from trusting Him?
  
  Some of my boldest steps spiritually happened when I threw myself forward with the last ounce of prayer I had... the last moment of wakefulness I could muster before my body collapsed into sleep... or setting aside that "first 10%" of our limited income to join into the beyond-us movement of God.
  
  Such things don't make a whole lot of sense on the surface, but in hindsight you find they are the emergency shock paddles of defibrillation to your soul.
  
  
• Third, or perhaps "first," maybe it's time to slow down. I know that's ridiculous because when you're slowed down against your will you find that everything in you wants things to change in a second at hyper-speed. And yet sometimes we are challenged with a hurdle because God wants our attention. Even in those times when being in a trial has nothing to do with your spiritual state, setting aside intentional time to slow down and "take it easy" with Him can calm your soul, and produce unexpected spiritual growth in the midst of struggle.

We are not immune from falling away on our hardest days from the hope that seems so clear on our best days. And yet we always have a resource in the Heavenly Father - One who promises never to leave us or forsake us. Failing to call upon Him relationally from the places of our ache denies us access to His comforting Presence in the midst of the very time we need Him most.

And we also have a resource in a community of imperfect people on the same journey we are. That's what a Church is - "people and God" fleshing it all out in practical ways. We remind each other of what is true when the blind spots become our focal point, and help each other find something powerful to do "in the meantime" - a purpose for our lives that turns us into proactive builders with the pieces of our lives instead of reactive lumps to the attacks of the Enemy.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19)

the only thing we have to fear

Recently I was talking with a friend who manages a rather well-known financial investment firm. The topic of conversation was last week's crazy stock market stuff and all the attention the media has placed on it. He said something that both shocked and reassured me.

"Change nothing."

Perhaps that's advice that is specific to my situation, but he said it was the same advice he was giving everyone he knew.

In other words, be still... don't let the fear of fear create unhealthy reactions.

This is a smart guy who has served me with some sound financial counsel in recent years. Keep in mind, my wife and I only have a meager amount of money invested in fancy words like "portfolio" and "diversified" and "mutual exchange traded untraded money market bond closed open ended unit investment thingies." Nonetheless, it's good to hear from someone who knows what he's talking about how sometimes people panic and get emotional during such times... and sometimes the best advice is to not be afraid of fear.

Sometimes if you wait you'll see a gain over the long-term... even though it seems like a short-term loss.

Apparently there's already been some bounce back in the market. But you wouldn't know it from the talk shows trying to stay on the air or the political ads that use our fears to manipulate votes. One candidate cites that the high gas prices are the other person's fault... and then the other fires back, "Fraid not. You did it." And back and forth, and back and forth because they know that the average soccer mom or dad who's just paid $90 at the pump is going to watch that commercial during Dancing With Stars and freak out. More emotions... more fears... more confusion.

It drives me crazy when in order to gain a vote a politician's party doesn't realize the damage they do. Maybe that way they look like a miracle worker when they're elected and "fix" all our problems. Or at least appear to do so for the first 100 daze days.

Be still. Don't let the fear of fear create unhealthy reactions.

This applies to more than business, politics, and economics, though.

I can't tell you how many households I've connected with in the past several years who are going through something amazingly tough. This person hurt that person; that child disrespected that parent; that parent ignored that child; this marriage isn't what it used to be; and so on. Guards are raised and fingers are pointed - "Fraid not." "Fraid so."

The fear of fear often gets in the way of anything productive happening.

This doesn't have to be true, and I've seen some rather amazing people defy that in recent days. In our local church, I've watched many courageous men and woman pursue others who are going through broken times, sacrificially give to help a new building get ready for others in our region, give stretchy finances to resource what God is doing, forgive one another from the heart, and lay down their schedules in lieu of God's priorities. This group of people have decided that life isn't determined by the ticker tape of Wall Street - what matters are the everyday connections with God that ripple into home, 'hoods, work, and play.

What matters is BEING the Church.

Certainly, it's easy to instead become conservative in all of this. I'm sure many Christians feel the temptation to hold back on tithing, offering other resources, start putting their guard up, and make sure they don't risk themselves in any capacity. That's okay if you're in a season where you and God need to get right... but once that's happened, it's time to overflow.

Just today, though, someone told me they had a washing machine to give away. And yesterday another person provided some finances to purchase some much needed resources for our new meeting space. A meeting space that is filled with grocery bags of food many people brought in this past week to love their neighbors in a practical way.

Open handed living in the name of Jesus. Wow.

Be still. Don't let the fear of fear create unhealthy reactions.

I learned recently that Google was started during the dot.com melt down and made it because they made smart decisions... they seem to be doing fine. In fact, many of the largest and most successful sustainable businesses have been started during economic downturns. Perhaps during such times the "lamer" ideas are quickly shown to be lame and the "better" ideas are revealed as practical - there is less noise to deal with.

I believe that if churches could be established during the Great Depression to provide God's powerful hope to a hurting world, then they can and must also be formed during a Great Recession. Hope must always be present in times of despair… and the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Be still. Don't let the fear of fear create unhealthy reactions.

Perhaps we we can't control everything happening in our world, but we can focus on what matters and Who it all matters to. May we be irrationally committed to the One who does not change in shifting times... but instead invites us to become ourselves.

After all, if you trust somebody who died and was resurrected, you're trusting in Somebody who doesn't fear death. May we truly be "Christ-followers" in that respect... and uncover the Life that follows the crucifixion.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)

one week in seven days

Well, it's been a week since seven days ago.... brilliant conclusion, right? I mean to say that it's odd how you can summarize the passing of time in more than one way - ever notice that? What is a quick week to one person is seven long days to another. Since my "bad day" last Thursday I've gotten to be a part of both, through my slices and the stories of others... good and bad. And what I've learned has powerfully impacted me.

Keep in mind, I won't be sharing with you the specifics of anyone's story other than my own. However, I can tell you a few things that each situation has taught me in the hope that you might gain as well:

• Extremely backward situations can point people forward: The pain caused from a broken marriage can teach others about why God doesn't want us to end up there... the loss of death can help unbelievers realize that the reason they feel "it shouldn't be this way" is because it shouldn't be this way, and God knows it and didn't originally design it that way... the bottoming out of a feeling or an addiction or a habit doesn't have to have the final say, for perhaps in such moments we become desperate enough to get back on track.
  
  Isn't it odd how we accept that the ultimate evil - crucifying God - can bring about the ultimate good - His glory and our transformation/salvation - and yet we forget that the broken situation in our lives or someone around us can be used for really, really, really good things, too? Withhold your judgment and give grace, for in such space God has been known to transform murdering abusers named Saul into redemptive Christ-followers renamed Paul.
  

• A twisted ankle hurts for more than a day, especially when you watch the Olympics, but push-ups aren't so bad. I mean what I write by that, and I also mean to say that I have been itching to get back to the gym since the Olympics have started. There is something about seeing what other people are capable of that compels us to ask about our own potential. And yet sometimes we feel limited by our own twists and hurts that we wonder if it's worth doing anything.
  
  Personally, I've found that I can still do push-ups... and so the question is if I will. You know what I mean? Sometimes when we can't live the full novel we figure why bother attempting a paragraph. And yet doesn't it all start with that? A single word or thought that suddenly propels you into the great adventure?
  
  What is that push-up in your life right now? The thing that you can do even with a hurting throb in your life?
  

• You have the freedom to crash your car into an intersection, but it affects more people than you. It's time to stop using the idea of "being ourselves" as an excuse to keep doing what we're doing that is destructive... it's time to start "becoming ourselves," which means we have another step to take with Jesus Christ. I must take mine today, and you must take yours today, too.
  

• Profanity is only useful when it is rarely used, and led by God. This week the Lord invited me to swear... I'm not kidding you, it blew my mind. I had to double check with Him in the midst of the moment to discover He'd really given me a green light on it and was urging me forward. (Maybe that sounds a bit formal, but I decided to give God my life some years ago and my language was one of the hardest parts... and yet it seems to be one of the more critical parts that since then He seems to be using)
  
  Anyway, I was in a moment where someone needed to know that God desires messy prayers instead of academic ones - ever struggle with that? So I was given the holy nudge to share a rather profound prayer I heard a teenager pray once involving a certain word that gives movies R-ratings. The room erupted with embarrassment, and yet it paved the way for someone to feel comfortable praying out loud on behalf of the matter we were addressing.
  
  I had the same leading from God to use the same word a few months ago when someone told me they "slept" with someone and had moved on. The Lord prompted me again to use the profane term and the impact of me saying it to paint a clearer picture of the difference between His picture of sex versus a lesser version of it... and something tells me that difference is etched in that person's brain with greater distinction.
  
  Keep in mind I'm not advocating profanity - in fact, quite the opposite. If I used it often I have the sense that the "profane" part of it would get lost in its repetition. Rather, I'm challenging you to let God have your tongue... and to not be surprised if He occasionally calls you to use what we consider unclean (because it probably is) to share something "clean."
  
  Speaking of which, last week's post really triggered something interesting on this. I can't tell you how many people I've spoken with this week who found it "comforting" to know I struggle with swearing in anger like anyone might. Again, though - may God have our tongues.
  
  
• Sometimes the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many, or the one. Yeah - I know... that's a loose quote from the Star Trek movies. And yet this week I found myself seeing how valuable it was to put down the papers I was working on for my Sunday message and simply "BE" the Church to the group of people I was around. It meant that we didn't have bulletins to hand out on Sunday, because I couldn't get to printing them... and yet something tells me it was better to be fully-present for people in the name of Jesus instead of having something to hand people that tells them God loves them.
  
  
• Our lives are not meant to avoid trouble, but to cause "the best kind of trouble" - the trouble that forces us to care about the people we say we care about, even if they don't want us to. This will require courage, which (for the record) is not the absence of fear—it's moving beyond it and inspiring others to do the same. At times you will need to lead others from the front, but never so far ahead that you leave them behind... and at other times, you will lead from the back so that others can experience (perhaps for the first time) what it means to feel in front. I think this why I like the phrase "servant-leader" - because both are needed, but one comes before the other.
  
  Oh... and quitting is leading someone, too. What have you quit on? How is that leading others around you?

Chew on all that a bit with me, and please share your thoughts - maybe even your own "one week/7 days" lesson so that I might gain from you, too.

you asked for it: marathons and walls

Ed G has put forth a very practical question: Paul writes that we must run for the prize -- but do you ever feel like you're in a marathon and you just "hit the wall"?

Nah.

It's just you.


:)


I'm jezz keeding...

I think this is one of the hardest parts about our faith, and often it's a roadblock we set up for ourselves. I'm preaching through a series right now called Movement, and the thing I keep seeing over and over again (especially in the life of the Israelites after the Exodus) is how often we erect our own hurdles and walls to the Promised Land God has for us. It's worth a listen to the series, but allow me to offer a few thoughts of summary:

1) The Roadblock/wall of fear: How many times have we been on the edge of something absolutely amazing with God and can even see how cool He is and His blessing is... only we throw out the word "but" and then it all goes downhill?

• "I see how this habit is destroying me, Father, but..."


• "I know you have a plan for my financial life, God, but..."


• "I get that you want me to work on that relationship, Lord, but..."

They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. (Numbers 13:26-28a)

2) The Roadblock/wall of self: Often we see our backgrounds as meager when compared to what God would invite us into. In Joshua's life, he started out as a rugged young warrior then spent time as Moses' intern... which meant everything from carrying the big guy's tent and laundry to going on extended treks up the side of the mountain. Yet when God called out the next leader for the thousands and thousands of Israelites to follow, he picked this scrub. Would you allow Him to pick you for something great, too, or will you allow your past to become a roadblock?

Moses said to Joshua, "Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands." (Exodus 17:9)

Then Moses set out with Joshua his aide, and Moses went up on the mountain of God. (Exodus 24:13)

3) The Roadblock/wall of control: How much risk in our life do we avoid because it would mean we would be out of control? Sometimes we know the step we need to take, but because it would mean not knowing/controlling everything we hold back. To counter this, we need to acknowledge who God is, believe that what He has said is true, commit to follow Him, determine there is no turning back, and enjoy the journey... wherever it takes us. Otherwise, all that we fear happening just might.

"The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: 'How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.''" (Numbers 14:26-30)

4) The Roadblock/wall of preparation: When the opportunity is presented to finally walk over the line into the Promised land, will you be ready? How we spend the "everyday" moments matter more than we realize... whether it's killing time or producing "muscles" for the road ahead. The way we interact with Jesus Christ, His Church, our community, and all of culture right now will determine what we're able to do in the future... so let's prepare prayerfully, financially, and invitationally so that lives are forever changed.

So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: "Go through the camp and tell the people, 'Get your supplies ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.' " (Joshua 1:10-11)

So hopefully those are some proactive thoughts, but I also think that sometimes when you hit a wall it's one of the best times to cry out to God. Sometimes worship is best when it comes from a dry mouth... sometimes the best prayers come from hot tears.

During such a time in my life, I made this video... and for those out there in need, may its honesty guide you closer to the Lord.