Um... nice try.
Then again, maybe I've spent too many years watching too many TV shows to count. Either way, here are some observations on the use of slow-motion effects in general when it comes to the small screen:
|Celebrity walking in slow motion on Entertainment Tonight/Access Hollywood/Extra = they had something tragic happen to them in real life or recently went a little coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs on camera.|
|Celebrity walking in slow motion in a feature movie = they're about to save the world.|
|Celebrity walking in slow motion down a hallway in a high school or down a staircase = the cool kid, or the kid who didn't used to be cool but now apparently is after getting a quick makeover (i.e. no longer wearing glasses).|
|Celebrity walking in slow motion in a commercial = they used to be famous for something else and now are selling you beauty products.|
|Celebrity walking in slow motion in a primetime program = their character is about to be written out of the show.|
|Celebrity walking in slow motion in any other TV show = they are Donald Trump, a part of his family or a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice.|