Frustrated.
Angry.
Exhausted.
Short in my spirit.
I'd debated with different people over different topics... some it was related to my mom's stuff, while other discussions were about other kinds of hoopla.
I'd tried to reinvest myself back into my marriage... back into my boys... back into stuff around the house... back into the pile of papers that somehow hides my desk.
I'd done some intentional research on topics we need to address as a church... things that I couldn't seem to get fully around even as hard as I tried.
I'd found that even my amazing neighborhood began to drain me... somehow making another connection didn't sound like fun.
So God and I had a very deep conversation that went like this:
Me: "God... what the heck?"
(Yes, that was it. Trust me, that's more deeply theological than it reads.)
Interestingly enough, I kind of had the sense that there was a reply. I know, I know... to say that God speaks back always sounds like the ravings of a crazy man. After all, we've become quite comfortable with praying one-sided prayers and giving God a "pass" (because our intellect "knows" that He won't respond).
But if you believe me, here's what God "said."
God: "Tony... what the heck?"
I wasn't quite sure what to do with that.
That is, until an intriguing book arrived in the mail.
More in the next post.
2 comments:
dude i love your transparency
awesome! you are posting...it took some time, but, i read the last three posts and then you got shifted right into my favorites, under blogs, so i would remember to check back. check.
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