Of course, there are my personal highlights... I call them the things worth talking about since I actually said something out loud when they happened. Here is my list this year of things I said out loud during the Oscars:
- During the best actress awards:"Hey! How come The Oprah gets to just say 'Precious' without all that 'based on a novel' stuff?"
Inside my head: "When Sapphire introduces herself, does she say, "I'm Sapphire, author of the novel Push, which the movie 'Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire' was based on?'"
Double-take: "Oh, snap! Did Sandra Bullock just do a fake-out hug on Meryl Streep?"
- During the best actor awards:"Oh, man.... Morgan Freeman, you are so mad for not winning... and I saw it for .008 seconds before you put on a happy actor face. The DVR slow-mo does not lie."
Inside my head: "I wonder if Morgan Freeman will be narrating evil thoughts at Jeff Bridges all night."
Double-take: "Jeff Bridges! Did you just disrespect or pay homage to your dad's role in 'Sea Hunt?'"
- During the dancing montage that highlighted best movie songs:"Wow! That was simply amazing. I think I might want to save this and show other people. Wait... that may not be the most macho move. Wait... did I just say 'macho'?"
Inside my head: "Somewhere. someone from the Disney Channel is copying down moved for High School Musical 4"
Double-take: "Seriously, did I just say 'macho?'"
- During the montage of stars who have passed away:
"(nothing - I am always silent during this piece each year)"
Inside my head: "Why is Demi Moore doing the introduction? Because she was in Ghost? Or because she'll look the same in 100 years?"
Double-take: "Whoa! Karl Malden 'won' the most applause this year... take that, 'guy who wrote the screenplay for To Kill A Mockingbird.'"
And... a few honorable mentions:
- "Ah, Kristin Stewart. So it's 'Team Edward' in the tabloids and 'Team Jacob' at the Oscars."
- "Hi, John Hughes kids! Hmm... I wonder if there is a John Hughes movie on right now I should be watching."
- "Man, they only let the first person in a group award talk. I wonder how many throw downs there are back stage from people who didn't walk up to the microphone as fast as the first guy."