questioning the industry of food

So last week the "Neverending pasta bowl" ended its run at Olive Garden.

Please tell me you find that as ironic as I do.

For the record, the new Spinach Alfredo never did get much of a run because of the e coli scare, even though that's the reason I went in the first place. However, I did enjoy the new Sundried Tomato Parmesan and recommend you eat as much of it as possible... especially with those addictive crack-laced rolls they call breadsticks.

This got me to thinking about the a lot of the inconsistencies and absurdities in the food industry. For instance...

• What's the deal with restaurant coupons telling you that they are worth 1/20 of one cent? I respect the ones that tell you outright "No cash value," but then there are weirdos who decide to test the public at large with the temptation for a penny. Here's how I picture the scene:
  
  

  Teenager working at Chuck E Cheese because he needs money to buy an IPOD: "Can I help you sir?"
  
  Crazy coupon man flinging a stack of coupons at him: "Give me my penny, boy."
  
  TWACECBHNMTBAI: "Um... sir, I don't understand."
  
  CCMFASOCAH: "I'm on to you, boy... gimme my penny before I get mad and lay a smackdown of arcade game tickets on you. I'm one round of Skee Ball away of enough tickets to buy the place."

• Then there's the Old Country Buffet. Why does everything I've ever eaten there taste like I could have had it better somewhere else?And for that matter, why won't the guy who cuts up the roast give me more than a slice so thin I'd have to get six of them in order to chew one time?
  
  
• "Catsup" or "Ketchup?" How can we still not know what to call this flavorful goop?
  
  
• Why does the Doritos company keep changing their bag color and presentation for their main product? I keep wondering if they've release something new or not and get disappointed everytime.
  
  
• Should I eat at an establishment that can sum up a current movie through the toys in their kid's meals?
  
  
• How is it that we can handle talking into a cell phone through our cheeks but we still insist on yelling at the little drive thru box? It’s modern technology yet we think the guy on his headset will hear us better if we sound like Chewbacca.
  
  
• If you take a small bag you put one tablespoon of sugar, one half cup of half and half, one quarter teaspoon of vanilla; then in a large ziplock put a half cup of rock salt and lots of ice. You put the small bag into the big bag, seal it, and shak eit for 5-10 minutes. Then the little bag turns to ice cream.
  
  
• How the heck does that happen and what ancient barbarian messed around with those ingredient to come up with it? And for that matter, who looked at a cow in the first place and thought, "I'll bet that stuff that comes of their udders is drinkable" - and then he drank it? Was this a bet or something far more disturbing involving an anti-cow league?

I have no point to make. Only questions.

And more questions.