Aug 15, 2009

you know you're from chicago when...

Having just driven through Chicago this past week with a van full of friends from Ohio, I was reminded of what it means to be a native of the Windy City area (as I am) versus a tourist.

  • You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and have cursed at one of them.

  • You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.

  • You and your relatives have your own private accent that usually comes out when you talk about "'dat one ting dey did."

  • You've never called it "Chi-town" in your life until you started hanging out with outsiders who think it's cool.

  • You think it's normal to drive by four professional sports complexes and five amazing museums over the course of fifteen minutes.

  • You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.

  • You say Chicaaago (but think you say "Chicago").

  • You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.

  • You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you (and you know what the "Dells" is).

  • You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.

  • You know why they call it "the Windy City."

  • You know dead people who voted.

  • You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.

  • You've never been to Springfield.

  • You know a good Italian Beef joint.

  • You know what Gino's East, Giordanos, and Lou Malnati's have in common (and why _______ is scientifically the best out of the three).

  • You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.

  • You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.

  • You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes... including which of your friends are in them.

  • The "Living Room" is called the "front room"

  • You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do

  • You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away

  • You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"

  • You refer to Chicago as "downtown."

  • "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986

  • You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!

  • You buy "The Trib"

  • You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog and why it's worth $4.

  • You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

  • You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815

  • You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!

  • You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.

  • You eat ravioli and spaghetti in addition to the turkey at Thanksgiving.

  • You are STILL a Bulls fan........

  • You think hanging out outside of White Castles parking lot is acceptable.

  • You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there

  • You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway

  • When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."

  • You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.

  • You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."

  • You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"

  • You don't miss Planet Hollywood.

  • You still claim that the Sears Tower is the tallest skyscraper in the world (and still call it the Sears Tower and "always will, even on my deathbed").

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH this is most excellent... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH yah...