Nov 29, 2007

behind closed doors

Pardon my rant... the rest of this email will be color coded to my web site (which means you'll need to use your mouse to highlight over the text to read the rest).

Unless you're using a feed to read this... in which case, consider yourself warned.

Also, some of this will appear on various accounts like Facebook and so on, which often use the first part of a post to entice you to read. Because of that, I am writing some meaningless chit chat in order to create some space so that my real post won't show up. Some of those meaningless thoughts include the following:

  • Meaningless thought to create space #1: It seems like Wii systems should be in greater abundance than they are this year. I don't have anything more to say on the topic than that, which is why this is meaningless text to create space for my real rant.

  • Meaningless thought to create space #2: My car doesn't have a hood release lever that works. I have to have a pair of needle nose pliers with me at all times, even though I don't. I'm sure we can have a chat about that, but since this is one-sided posting right now this qualifies as more meaningless text to create space for my real rant.

  • Meaningless thought to create space #3: Honestly? I could care less that 24 isn't on this season. I am, however, concerned that LOST develops more than the 8 shows it has wrapped up... the writer's strike really messed things up for that, but they still have a window of time to bounce back. Since we can't control any of that, though, this also qualifies as more meaningless text to create space for my real rant.

Okay, I think we're about there. Again, though, you probably should not read what I'm about to write unless you're a guy. Ladies... please consider yourself more than warned, okay?

So here we go...


Alright, then.

What's the deal with every time I go into a locker room at any gym of any kind there is an old man walking around without anything on? And I don't mean because he's changing into his clothes... no, I mean there is an old man (probably the same old man who just rotates around from gym to gym) who is just content to walk around with his world open to the rest of the world?

I was just at the local rec center today and it happened again... I think I need to start bringing an extra towel to hand out or something. And then the last time I was there there were three of them all standing around talking about stuff... and then two of them left and the third just sat down by his locker, still on full display. Again, not to put on clothes, but just to sit there because he could.

He... just... sat... there... and I left for about ten minutes and came back in and he... was... still... sitting... there.

By the way, I'm not just spotlighting old men on this but I have yet to see a young or middle-aged guy do it. At best you might get a guy who just worked out who keeps pointing to things in order to flex his biceps, but even that is rare in most places (except for Nebraska, I hear).

Can we do something about this? Can we make up signs that say, "Please mind your own business" (with the word "business" in italics, if you know what I'm saying)? Seriously... something. I'll even settle for a time clock on lockers that requires you to get dressed within a certain period of time or else your stuff goes into lock-down mode for 24 hours... that will motivate many I'm sure.

Probably not, though. Nonetheless, I needed to get it out of me.

Thank you for reading, and you may now go drink a well-deserved Yoo-Hoo.


CL said...

Thank you and Yes! Seriously, I think that the NBA should be in charge of this - you know shot clock style. I have been scarred pretty heavily because of this issue. Old guy walking around all things swaying in the wind, sitting and leaning on everything, ugh. I've got the number for David Stern somewhere.

Todd Porter said...

AMEN!!! I think the same guy works out at World Gym in Shelby Township, MI. This guy will walk from the shower area to the locker room area butt naked and carrying his clothes. Why oh why, can't he change back by the showers?

Dear God, please don't let me grow up to be like those old men. Amen.

Anonymous said...

1 Corinthians 8:9
Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

derek said...

thats hilarious dude!!!!! haahahahaa

Ed G. said...

I'm not sure who's reading this, so I am going to color-code the rest of my comment to your web page. Read if you dare!

Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.

Dj said...

So, in other words, you're saying I shouldn't eat my sandwich off the locker room bench?

And I completely agree with what you said about Lost. That show has caused me more frustration than any other show before it! They have exactly 3,347 plot lines going on at the same time! We need SOME kind of closure.

Heather said...

you did warn me.
but i had to look. it's like telling a child not to touch.
and i laughed. heartily.
i'm with ya on lost. felt the same way about alias. loved it for the first two seasons. then they went on a sabbatical and became convoluted after that. they lost me.
lost is about to lose me too.
i'm more interested in pushing daisies these days, one of the best shows i've seen in a while.

Anonymous said...

It's not just old men. When I used to go to the Bally's in Strongsville, there were two older ladies (I'm talking 80+), who were fond of traipsing around showing off all of their cash and prizes. It was incentive to me to hurry up and get on out of there.


Tony Myles said...

Awesome... just awesome... this thread still has me laughing even as I type.

Mainly because of the varying ways we've avoided saying certain body parts and substituted it with everything from "business" to "cash and prizes."

Just awesome... (lol - and I never use that dorky phrase so I really am)