Aug 4, 2007

but seriously, folks...

In light of how seriously we sometimes take church life (which we should at times, and other times we shouldn't), I'd like to share with you some fun stuff.

The first is a link to our staff page.

The second is a list that portrays the stereotypes "serious" Christians sometimes place on churches who tend to be less ____________ than them.

(everything you always wanted in a church and less)

7. Guaranteed 30-minute sermon or your next one's free!

6. Your choice of only 8 commandments.

5. Only happy hymns and choruses.

4. Fewer commitments asked (including 3 annual "get out of volunteering for children's ministry" free cards).

3. No messages on subjects that hit too close to home.

2. Reclining La-Z-Boy pews with pillow pads and head rests.

1. Offering box turned into a tip jar, followed by a complimentary beverage and after service mint.

(Adapted/added by me from "Bible Humor Top Seven Lists" by Dave Veerman and Rich Anderson)


derek said...


David Malouf -- said...

I've never seen a staff-page like that - brilliant!! I laughed then showed it to my wife for whom it was one more small step in her journey back to loving the local church. Gracias!!!


Jessica said...

this post is great. my parents are coming to the church where i am on staff and her church has referred to us as a "fluff" church.
it's sad we do this with one another.

but this is great to laugh at ourselves.

Barbara (aka Layla) said...

Oh, number 2 is a great idea, can you add "listening to iPod during service is acceptable"

Just kidding of course. I bet your church has people on the edge of their seats :)

Great post, Tony!

Barbara (aka Layla) said...

PS just looked at the staff page, its sooooo good. I swear there are no churches like yours around here and that makes me sad.

Tony Myles said...

Thanks, guys... wow - I didn't even realize the side of this all that you guys are describing but now I get it. That's interesting - that's kind of who we are... we had a bunch of stuff go wrong today in our service, and yet we used it as a chance to talk about a day when God will forever fix it all... so let's laugh at our inability to be Him and have everything perfect in the meantime.

bigwhitehat said...

First, tell the ladies on that page that they got cuter.

I have my own list.

3. Only prayers that have substance. If you said the same words last time, they better be good ones.

2. Only songs that move me personally. After all, worship is all about me. Right?

1. No sermons can exceed their substance in length.

Tony Myles said...

There you go hitting on married ladies, again. I think you should pull that hat down over your eyes, brutha.

bigwhitehat said...

Not hitting. Just trying to deliver that well appreciated seldom given much deserved complement.

Tony Myles said...


cut it out.