Jun 20, 2006

questions i'm asking these days

During my drive down to Indiana for my graduation last May (a very humbling experience, by the way) I had a chance to chat with my mom. She's been a part of a Bible study within her church community this past year and has been growing in leaps and bounds with God. It was obvious by the content of her questions... solid stuff from the deep end of the spiritual swimming pool. I mentioned to her that I believe the key to understanding your spiritual growth is not defined by your answers in as much as it is measured by the depth of your questions.

All of this got me thinking about the questions I've been asking myself and God these days. I don't know if they will help you to understand a bit of my journey as of late, but I thought I'd clue you in nonetheless. Perhaps you have been asking similar questions and we can ponder them together.

  • Did I make the right choice to move my family?
  • How is my life affecting those who live in this moment with me?
  • Should I be working a secular job? And is there even such a thing since all things are sacred anyway?
  • How many carbs am I allowed in one day?
  • What have been the rewards in my life from serving? Difficulties?
  • I often look at Christian television and say, "I don't want to become like that." But do I settle too much for becoming ordinary or blending in?
  • Will I miss preaching every week?
  • Should my spiritual leadership in the home look any different?
  • How do I really feel about my wife working? Is it sexist to think it should be me going out the door?
  • Am I doing anything to feed some of the tension/opposition I am experiencing from others?
  • Which is most important for me to do - satisfy people's needs or intensify their hunger?
  • Why don't ad agencies advertise?
  • Beyond any gimmicks, how is my ministry really "different?"
  • What am I learning from God directly instead of hand-me-downs from books I'm reading?
  • How am I seeking to be transparent about who I am?
  • Is it unhealthy for me to like living in a town with so many cool restaurants?
  • How will my choices today be remembered in the future? And do they need to be?
  • Do I love my dog enough to give him medicine in his ears each day?
  • Why do I work better at night and feel like a load of lead is in my head in the morning?
  • Is there any intentional "faking" I'm engaging in? Why? Why not?
  • Am I addicted to television?
  • How can I bless the socks off my wife?
  • What perception of life am I passing down to my kids?
  • Why do I have a Master's Degree if I may end up not working in the church?
  • Is the biggest thing in my life this month really seeing Superman Returns in IMAX 3-D?
  • Why do people in my past whom I have had tension with seem manipulative?
  • What the heck am I supposed to be doing?

Doubt is weird. It can be faith building… lead to insight, intimac, and good things in our relationship with God. He is not offended or made insecure by our questions. He uses them to show us a side of Himself, and sometimes the answer isn’t what we expect.

And then... doubt can mess with you. You end up wondering if you've made the right choices and how those decisions will affect others. No degree or street smarts will ever give you the foresight that is only gained in hindsight... that is, unless God tells you something.

Anyway, since I didn't know where to start... maybe a few questions might help get the ball rolling.


Thurman8er said...

I'm glad you're back, brother. That's too many questions all at once. I don't even know if I could help you with them one at a time.

All I know is that I'm willing to try.

veldugo01 said...

Hey!!!! You´re back, I am happy for it...
Well, yeah! Some of those questions have been running in my head for a long time and it seems some times that faith and trust is the answer to some of them, sometimes we humans want to do our parts and we interfere in what God is doing... but some other answers to some of those questions are the results of personal looking ( I dunno how to say that in english)... it is confused!!!!!
Dios te bendiga my brotha!!!
Your brotha from Dominican Republic!

Yellow Monkey said...

The only advice I can offer is something I heard once from a wise mentor of mine.
"I believe the key to understanding your spiritual growth is not defined by your answers in as much as it is measured by the depth of your questions."

Sandra said...

I love the questions...particularly the "satisfy their needs or intensify their hunger" thought. I know you didn't ask these to get advice or answers from us...but the discussion it brings is priceless.

Glad you're back. It was comforting to see your questions were random and all over the place...that's the way my head thinks and I often think I'm a little on the loopy side!

Katie said...

I guess the scariest question to answer would be "Why don't I have any questions for God?"

Sounds like you're asking everything else but that and I'm thinking that means you're in the right place to find answers then.

Tony Myles said...

Hmm... interesting catches, everyone. I wonder how far the rabbit hole goes...

Mike DeVries said...

Great questions. Even better to have you back thinking out loud again. I have always been greatly encouraged by your thoughts and honesty in the journey. Keep pressing forward, my friend.

Jon Knapp said...

I have/am wrestling with many of the same questions. Wish we could grab a cup of coffee and chat.

Amy said...

glad you're back, Tony. great questions.

Melanie Morales said...

I am so glad you are back! I love these questions! I'm doing a lot of questioning these days as well. So, it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Doubt can eat you alive - that's for sure! But maybe some of your questions reflect doubt; but others reflect a hunger for a deeper meaning. In your 40 day fast, did you listen for God? Or did you just listen to the questions in your head - and maybe some tv? hehe

Good questions to start some thought processing!

Tony Myles said...

I have to confess that I did listen to God... and he listened back.