Apr 13, 2006

an autobiographical allegory

A couple of days ago I had a half-dream... a unique epic that happened mid-way between sleep and wakefulness.

I was simultaneously an audience member and the lead character in a story about a group of travelers working their way to a horse corral. While I had no conscious agenda, I believe what follows is an allegorical autobiography of my life.

Perhaps you can explain it better than I can...


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As I traveled to the corral in my group, we found ourselves at a rustic rest stop so that we might exit our vehicles for a short while and stretch our legs. While many of the group members lingered by the wooden shack of restrooms, I found myself drawn out a bit further… past the outlined borders of the lot.

This was when I first heard the invitation of the open range.

The sun began to set and I felt my heart begin torace. I knew that time was diminishing, only I didn't know why it mattered. Without telling anyone, I found myself chasing after the daylight as it faded on the rugged plains… even though the path I’d just left had been more concrete and outlined than this one.

It wasn't too long before my group knew was that I was gone. They looked around for me...


but only for a short while.

Eventually they resigned the search and gave up, figuring I’d gone off into the desert and been consumed by the Sun. And so they got back on the expressway and drove to the corral in their SUVs and passenger vans. As they headed out on wheels to their destination and concluded they’d never see me again… I aimlessly walked my travels on foot.

Only I did arrive at the corral. I don't know how and can't remember the details of the journey, but somehow I ended up emerging from the plains and seeing the first signs of life in the loosely landscaped vegetation. Physically I knew my body required water, and yet I confidently passed by the well with a sense that I had somehow found refreshment in the desert.


Amazingly, I arrived at the corral at the same time my group did. You should have seen the looks on their faces as they unloaded their luggage while I emerged from the cracked plains and entered the fold with a smile on my face. As they thought to ask all the usual questions, I remained quiet and helped them to empty their cartop baggage carriers.



On my way to follow the plans I was "called to" I heard another call – a deeper calling that cannot be explained or articulated but must simply be followed. Compelled toward it, I took the dirty path into the wild and still arrived where I needed to be… only more alive and invigorated than the paved path would have allowed.

2 comments:

Jon Knapp said...

Sorry, I have never been to good with interpreting dreams. But I find them fascinating!

Jenn said...

Tony,
A few months ago you asked me the BiG QuEstION...What iS IN your HeArT? Only now can I answer that question....because at the time I was out in that dirty desert trying hard to find my way to the "corral". Now that I've arrived I must admit that the JouRneY was worth it. Sure that "dirty path" was lonely a lot of the time and I found myself questioning EverYThinG and eVeryONe out in that lonely place. BUT something happened out there in that desert. There was a thirst that could not be met. A hunger that could not be explained. There was OnLY 1 that understood and knew the true condition of my heart. It was in that desert that I was unable to do what came so natural in me...there would not be others to invest into...there would be no "ministry - to do"...nothing...just me. There were empty times and definitely times of confusion. And to say that I kicked the dust around a lot is an understatement.

BUT when I made the "DEciSion" to bask in the desert and just accept that this was "mY DirTy paTh" things changed...I saw that I was nOT aLOne on this path...nor had I been. Of course, why wouldn't my Lord be hangin' out with me in the "dirt"...He's just that kind of KinG!

Now that I've traveled that path I would choose it again over the "SUV" transportation. My relationship with my path companion grew to a more intimate level...there was no work or ministry to get confused with it or distract from it. There were no other relationships that took away from it. Only the two of us hangin' out. It took me awhile to appreciate the "pAth", but when I finally got it - there was "FrEEdoM"! Healing was found and my thirst in that desert could only be filled by my OnE & OnLY.

So...back to YouR dReaM...bask in the dirt...roll-around in it...become familiar with it...taste it and don't forget it, because it will be used to make you humble (take it from one who knows)...it will be used again and again in ways that you and I cannot even begin to imagine...it will create in you a thirst that can not be met by anyone else...and when you get to that corral you look back with thankfulness for the provisions and lessons learned,but more than anything for the intimacy that you experienced.

I now know what is in my heart...but I will share that little tidbit another time...keep you hangin' on your seat...

Bask in the diRtY JoUrNeY!