Yes, for the first time ever I FINALLY DID IT!!!!
Of course, I'm talking about the endless battle of chip versus dip. I have failed... so many times - failed in the attempt to get the perfect balance of dip in proportion to the chips I have left, and vice versa. And as we all know, there is no greater party shame than the secret anal addiction of standing by the chip bowl while you try to eliminate the French Onion glob on your plate... you know, the one that shows how you failed in estimating how many oily crunchies it would take to establish a successful snack serving of sustenance. We try to hide it as we get up and say, "Yeah, I think I'd like some more chips." Only once again we grab too many, perpetuating the cycle of now needing more dip. And sadly it continues... until we leave the party in secret shame.
Over and over... I would fail in a cycle that never ended!
Except this past Sunday - while watching episodes of Lost (since the Bears weren't in the Super Bowl since they decided to let someone else win for a change, so why bother?), I was consuming my favorite new snack of Fritos Scoops and Tostitos Salsa Con Queso. If you haven't yet tasted this bliss, I highly encourage you to pick it up as a new bad habit.
At some point around episode 6 of season one, I looked down and saw this...
Oh, HAPPY DAY!
Oh, HAPPY DAY!
So yes - I stand here as someone who has experienced the impossible. You may doubt the truth I tell you, but I am a man with an experience who cannot be questioned. It happened... I testify to it, and invite you to continue in your search for such a divine moment.
Have you ever experienced such bliss on the first try? If not, how many attempts does it usually take you?