Feb 8, 2006

the REAL super bowl victory

I did it!

Yes, for the first time ever I FINALLY DID IT!!!!

Of course, I'm talking about the endless battle of chip versus dip. I have failed... so many times - failed in the attempt to get the perfect balance of dip in proportion to the chips I have left, and vice versa. And as we all know, there is no greater party shame than the secret anal addiction of standing by the chip bowl while you try to eliminate the French Onion glob on your plate... you know, the one that shows how you failed in estimating how many oily crunchies it would take to establish a successful snack serving of sustenance. We try to hide it as we get up and say, "Yeah, I think I'd like some more chips." Only once again we grab too many, perpetuating the cycle of now needing more dip. And sadly it continues... until we leave the party in secret shame.

Over and over... I would fail in a cycle that never ended!

Except this past Sunday - while watching episodes of Lost (since the Bears weren't in the Super Bowl since they decided to let someone else win for a change, so why bother?), I was consuming my favorite new snack of Fritos Scoops and Tostitos Salsa Con Queso. If you haven't yet tasted this bliss, I highly encourage you to pick it up as a new bad habit.

At some point around episode 6 of season one, I looked down and saw this...


So yes - I stand here as someone who has experienced the impossible. You may doubt the truth I tell you, but I am a man with an experience who cannot be questioned. It happened... I testify to it, and invite you to continue in your search for such a divine moment.

Have you ever experienced such bliss on the first try? If not, how many attempts does it usually take you?


Kristi said...


Honestly, I still haven't mastered that great feat. I still go round and round, and finally have to throw my plate away with either a few chips left, or a spoonful of dip. How sad. I'll keep practicing though!

Funny post! =)

Amy said...

haha...this is so universal.

I can NEVER get it right: chips and dip, syrup and waffles, the components of my taco salad ("gee, that doesn't seem like very many chips...just a few more"...then I get the proportional amounts of everything else and wind up with Mount Taco on my plate).

congratulations on your achievement :)

Mark D said...

I have the same problem with dry cereal. You want to add enough milk, but I always end up with too much. Then you have to keep adding more cereal.

My latest "moment of bliss" was with a non-edible item. I was pumping the gas and stopped EXACTLY on the even dollar amount - first try!!!

Anonymous said...

I am still trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsiepop.

Tony Myles said...

The owl with the graduation cap on TV said "3" (and TV owls with graduation caps never lie).

Katie said...

but the owl bit, stupid cheating owl with the graduation cap

Tony Myles said...

For the record, I actually did it again tonight (February 9, 2006) at around 6:07 pm.

Call Guiness and get his record book people out here.