Jan 26, 2006


So the experts say that this point in the year is when depression is at an all time high.

Can you identify?

Apparently the deal is that there isn't a whole lot of day light, the big holidays are behind us, credit card bills for Christmas have started showing up, and many new year resolutions we hoped we'd stick with have failed.

Wow. I guess I never thought of this before, but it makes sense.

It made me think about when I was a kid in my bedroom at night and would feel afraid of the dark. Like many of you who know this fear, I would close my eyes tightly and hope it would go away.

The irony is that in closing my eyes I stayed in the dark. Only I wasn't as afraid of that darkness as I was the other darkness. Closing my eyes created a darkness I knew... but the darkness of my bedroom (even thought it was my bedroom) suddenly seemed unfamiliar.

From dark to dark.

Odd contrast, eh?

I wonder sometimes how we turn to darkness to comfort our feelings of vulnerability. And yet it is weakness and powerlessness where grace seems most real and welcome. The dark is the place when the light shines brightest.

What are the dark places in your life that you fear?

What are the dark places in your life that you don't fear?

What's the difference?
"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." (John 1:5)


Stephanie said...

Wow Tony, you ask some tough questions! I'm going to have to chew on this for awhile and get back to you!

Katie said...

Fear: Loneliness
Don't fear: Loneliness

Difference: The "who", I don't fear loneliness in the midst of others, but loneliness in the midst of myself, loneliness of the heart that is unbearable, and that is only found when I feel absent from the presence of God

Not sure if any of that made sense, but you asked a tough question so you got a tough answer :)

Thurman8er said...

I'm not sure what it says about me that "fear" is not a big part of my life.

Sadly, were I to be honest, I would say that one of the few things I fear is sharing Christ. And even that doesn't so much qualify as fear as ignorance in where to begin.

Maybe it's a matter of wanting to help other people out of the dark.

Angele said...

How interesting...I just outed my self as having struggled with depression for the last 7 months (and on and off since I was in my early teens). Read my blog post 'Myself When I Am Real' at www.angelemyska.blogspot.com

What I fear most is kind of what you said about keeping yourself in the dark...maybe I'll stay depressed until I stop keeping it a secret because I'm afraid to trust others with that secret and help me move on. I fear coming out of the dark because it's an old familiar friend...but rely, it's my enemy and I'm taking a chance that others may understand and not be scared away from me as I fear.

I'm reminded of a favorite Indigo Girls song right now called 'Closer to Fine'..."and I wrap my fear around me like a blanket, I sailed my ship of safety 'til I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore..."

Angele said...

Other lyrics that spring to mind and describe how I feel about darkness (also from Closer to Fine):

Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And the lightness has a call that's hard to hear

I fear the loneliness in the dark, yet I find the dark to be comforting at times...I can be anonymous, I can be still and quiet and talk to God with no interuptions.

bigwhitehat said...

What do I fear? Failure.
Dark places I don't fear? Past Failures.
Difference? Perspective.
Myopia gets the better of me.

Cindy Woods said...

What are the dark places in your life that you fear?

The place where I find myself placing judgment on others who only the Lord has the right to judge, as He alone knows all the circumstances of that person's life.

What are the dark places in your life that you don't fear?

Every dark place since I know all I need to is remember the Lord is always there bringing the Light into any darkness..

Tony Myles said...

Thanks for your public courage, guys and gals. My turn:

What are the dark places in your life that you fear?

The ripples of past choices that I've learned from but still chase me, not to mention the possibility that I am not living out my true potential.

What are the dark places in your life that you don't fear?

I would say that any challenge I face has a degree of confidence due to the reality of Christ. So even though what is in front of me is dark I feel as though I have a light inside that keeps my navigation healthy.

Aim Claim said...

"The dark is the place when the light shines brightest."

Love it. Great post.

Mark D said...

Dark place that I do not fear: Going forward into the unknown and reaching for my full potential (whatever that may involve)because I know God is with me.

Dark place I do fear: Seemingly going backwards in my walk...or life in general...and not learning from past mistakes but actually repeating them.

Good post - sorry I am so late with responding.