Dec 29, 2005

wake up with the king

Does anyone else find the latest Burger King commercials a bit creepy?

The first in the series came out last year and featured a guy waking up in his bed to discover that he wasn't alone. Next to him on his bed (that he'd just slept on) was some sort of creepy king, dressed in burgundy robes and topped off with a crown. While it was a real person, the king's head remained motionless for it was made of plastic (and perhaps three times too large for the body). He handed the stunned man a breakfast sandwich, and they had a good laugh together.

Okay, instead of wetting the bed or sceaming like a little girl (which I more than likely would have done), the guy just grinned and took the sandwich from the strange ruler of the Whopper. In fact, at the end of the commercial the king put his hand on the dude's knee.


Another commercial showed some dude cutting down a tree with a chainsaw. Out of nowhere... the creepy king appeared. Same fake head, real man hands, and white tights. If it were me, I'm wondering if someone wouldn't have gotten a body part chopped off in my frenzied panic. But sadly, the creepy king won again.

These days there is a King Kong parody at work in the land of Burger King commercials. Now the already oversized head/mask/nightmare-maker is blown up to huge proportions as he spies on a glamorous girl through the window of her penthouse (a la "King Kong"). Instead of freaking out, they have a nice interchange where he gives her a rather large hamburger.

She eats it.

I'll be honest. Deep down I'd like one of these masks... it would make for a lot of fun when out driving or applying for a job somewhere.

But overall, I think I need a shower.

There was a "puppet king" in the Bible, too. His name was Herod and he tried to exert all the power in the world to appease his boss in Rome (Caesar Augustus a.ka. Octavian) while keeping the Israelites in fear. He built large towers and remodeled the desert to meet his needs; he overtaxed the people and kept the nation in poverty (while he sat in his rooftop pools); he had a large family and yet he killed many of them in fear they wanted to steal his kingdom.

In the last round of this puppet king's rule, a little baby was born in a damp shadow of his kingdom. While Herod was busy listening to his jingling change, Jesus cried out His first breath in the echoes of a makeshift cave. Some historians have even cited Herod as being incredibly sick on the day Christ came into the world. Interesting, eh?

The real King eventually would grow up and live a life of humility; Herod-the-puppet-king died in a blaze of extravagance. However, if you go to where Herod's great kingdom stood you will find decay, rubble, and empty holes. This is the legacy of a puppet king, after all.

Jesus, on the other hand, built no buildings (although we seem to do a good job of building several and slapping His name on them). He did, however, build into people and His Father's Kingdom. As a result, His legacy is still around and growing strong.

So I'm not too worried when the puppet kings of our world get airtime and do things that creep me out.
I wake up with the One True King who eventually puts all costumed characters in their rightful place.

Don't believe me? Here's a taste.
"Jesus was born in the town of Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod." (Matthew 2:1a, LIV)


Rodney Olsen said...

I don't think I'd like to wake up next to a king and I'm sure that I wouldn't want to wake up next to a queen.

I think I'll just stick to waking up next to my wife.

lee said...


what of the wicked cool spots of the king playin' football...?

you must admit that those rule...

although, to follow your line of reasoning...

jesus would've kick some serious ass as a baller...

what position do you think he would've played...?

i'd imagine that his build would've probably been best suited for a skill position...?

qb, db, rb or wr...?

Tony Myles said...

Rodney -

I'm with you... but what if your wife is a queen?

Lee -

Don't know what position Jesus would play, but He would definitely be an incredible coach! (Speaking from experience on that one)

Mike DeVries said...

Bro, I'm with you. That "King" guy scares the hell out of me. It's just flat our creepy. I've been thinking it for a while, but you're the first person to admit it in writing. You're my hero.


clew said...

YES!!!!!!! That King is totally creepy. I thought it was just me!

Just one King for me, and it ain't the Burger King. :)


Logan Bennett said...

Hey man, I think the only good thing about having the burger king around would be free food wherever you would go....... but yeah only one king for me also man!!! No puppet king for me!!!

Katie said...

Tony - those commercials FREAK ME OUT. Seriously, there is a messed up marketing guy out there who is making way too much money on those spots (darn I knew I should have paid more attention in my advertising classes).

Like the parallel drawn between Herod and freaky BK guy. I'm with you on the "real" king. And His head isn't plastic either.

Aim Claim said...

Ha, ha... great comparison... clever! I agree, the king is oh so creepy.

I am slightly troubled when I see really weird or bad commercials. I think about the fact that EVERY commercial is someones "best" idea... and there was probably a room full of people who also agreed. WHY?

Brian said...

The scariest commercial guy ever is the Six Flags dancing Freddie Krueger guy.

derek bethay said...

yeah the king is kinda creepy with that cheesy grin of his but i agree with lee that he does rock in the football comercials!

BUT... the really creepy BK commercial is the one with Darius Rucker (Hootie & the Blowfish) looking like a cross between 70's Elvis & Liberace in a cowboy outfit with his plastic enhanced models entourage in tow.

bigwhitehat said...

I worry about folks that aren't creeped out by the BK commercials.

As for the Herod thing, nice stretch.

Royal said...

I like the Six Flags guy...

I like the old BK Whopper commercials..."It's too big a eat." with Rodney Allen Wrippy

Tony Myles said...

Royal - do you remember the "Magical Burger King" guy back in the 70's? He would do magic tricks and stuff for kids? He was kind of like a live version that this puppet mask is modeled after.